LOL! I'm checking back too, hope everythings ok! Speed it up girl!
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LOL! I'm checking back too, hope everythings ok! Speed it up girl!
Murraycod...me too!
Alice, thank u so much for your kindness. It's a strange thing, this world. After this whole ttc and infertility experience I'm not really use to people asking after me and encouraging me so much. People do, especially at work (midwives), but friends in my 'outside' life struggle with it quite a bit.... so thanks hon. I cannot agree with you more about feeling that you sincerely will be the last woman left on the 'mummy-2-b shelf'! It's surreal and so unexpected. I can picture myself having a child...but then I feel like I should shake myself as it simply may not happen. But I pray it will.... for all of us.
Ferral4, Porsche, Mildez, and all you other lasses, I hope your weekend's were lovely. i had my DH's brother, sister-in-law and 3 nieces and nephew visit from tas 4 5 nights.......I'm tired!! We dropped them off at the airport this arvo. They're such an adorable bunch though. I couldn't help but have a quite cry or two, their 4 month old is scrummy!
xxx
I was starting to get worried then i remembered murrycod( i am pretty sure) had to work last night so i hope thats why she hasnt posted.
Thanks Ferrals - I don't want to be worried ('cause then something might be wrong) but I was starting to be. How are you? I wanted to reply to your post yesterday but it's hard to be sure it will come out the right way but along the lines that our grief is all relative to our experiences and having your three boys is a blessing but you are just as entitled to feel the way you feel about loosing Abbie and everything you've been through in the past two years as some of us are about never being mothers. I always try to keep in my mind the things I have in my life to be grateful for, but some days the other stuff wins. Anyway, hope you are having a better day today.
MurryCod, hope you are having sweet dreams after your shift.
Sevie - thanks lovely, I think we feel the same about things, having people understand in here is such a god send.
Have a good day everyone x
Alice-thanks i know what you mean i feel really down some days then i think about what i have and how lucky i am to have found the love of my life and then some days it is why me why my daughter and i feel life is not fair i always wanted a girl for my mum the family is 99% grandsons and one grand daughter Abbi was the 2nd girl in 18 years and i feel cheated that she was taken away from us.
I know that might sound silly and my 3 boys are my world and when i was pregnant with them i didnt want a girl i was over the moon to have boys it wasnt until i met my now DH that i wanted a girl after everything we have been through i just want to see those 2 lines again and have a healthy baby the sex is not relavent at all i think part of my desire is to heal the pain we feel i want to feel normal again and maybe on some level i am hoping having another baby will help move on from losing Abbi otherwise i am scared i will never move on and will always feel sad inside i dont want to feel like this forever.
Anyway today is a good day thanks for asking i hope you are having a good day i am on cycle day 6 so just plotting along counting days until AF due so i can start IVF.
Ok now i'm worried:crossfingers:
Mmmmm.....
Me getting worried too !
Thinking of you Murraycod :hug:
:crossfingers:
xo
Maybe all the bad weather has stuffed murrycod's internet service i heard it was bad down that way.
Hi there
Now Im worried I stayed away for a whole 20hrs and come back to seeing Murraycod has gone AWAL ! Oh I so hope shes ok this rollercoaster ride is so damn tiring at times ! Murraycod where are you !!!
Alice I read your post yesterday and was so sad that you feel like you do sometimes but afterall we have to beat ourselves every now and then to keep in check, I am sure after all the wonderful work you have done on cleansing your body you will be able to get your BFP really soon you have worked so hard and I am sure you will be rewarded soon. I sometimes forget that some of you don't have noisey households like me and then I tell myself how lucky I am to be in a noisey busy messy home, I know all of you will get your dream one day soon as he who dares wins !
ferrals you couldn't have put it better about the always being sad inside if you don't give it your best shot, that is how I feel I sometimes think maybe I am too tired to do this again and then I remind myself that if I don't give it my best shot now then my time has run out so I buck myself up and think positive and remember all the lovely ladies on here who take the time to care for everyone and know exactly how I feel !
We are joined in spirit and have a wonderful way of understanding how each other feels even though we have never met, that is something special you know !!!
Kitfaeri hope your feeling sicker by the day !!! in the nicest possible way !
Will be back in a few hours to see if there is any news on Murray !
I can't believe there is still no word from Murrycod. Gosh I so hope everything is okay.
Ferrals - I understand why the FS is saying IVf now. We might be there together.
Crafty - the word on the NK test is that I can have the biopsy on the Gold Coast and it will be sent to Sydney for analyis. No word yet as to if or when FS is going to approve it as he was at a conference all last week.
It had been suggested to me that at some point I needed to say goodbye to my angels and I had resisted for a long time. The thought of getting rid of my pregnancy tests and ultra sound pictures was far too hard until now. But with my recent thoughts of the future I felt I had reached the right time. SO on sunday I gathered up the individual frames with pictures of my babies in them and tied them up with my pregnancy tests in a white ribbon. I chose a part of my garden and dug a hole during the day. Then that night under the light of the moon I placed them in the ground and planted 2 beautiful flowering plants over them and lit the lovely heart shaped candle my friend had bought me after the second loss and placed it on the ground. I stood and cried for ages and then my housemate joined me and I talked about how sad I felt but that I could also now say that no matter how hard this time has been I am grateful that I got to be their mum even for the briefest time.
Fly well my precious angels.
:cry: :cry:
Oh Sunbeam ! That is just beautiful !!
xoxo
Ok - my heart feels really heavy - i am worried about Murraycod :(
xoxo
Thinking of you all !
xoxo
Hi Ladies
Sunbeam - That was a beautiful thing to do. You are so brave.
I'm concerned about MurrayCod as well. I hope everything is OK. Perhaps the results just aren't in yet?
I too am wondering how Murraycod is and praying that her absence is just a sign of her celebrating her fabulous news.
Sunbeam I agree with Porsche how brave you are and Jahzara what a beautiful idea.
5DPO for me. Would love to get a BFP the timing would be so wonderful (seeing as we might not be able to afford IVF now) it would really improve our crappy situation at the moment.
SO glad I'm not the only Cod-Stalker!
(just so you know, though, crafty, ferrals, Alice and Sunbeam, got my eye on all you lot too ;))
LOL, OMG that was the longest wait for blood results in my damn life!!!! Phew!!!
Had the bloods done yesterday, they decided to grace me with a phonecall 4pm thisafternoon, I have been a total train wreck!!!!
So as from yesterday, my beta was 700!!!!!!!!!!!! On the high side of the scale, which means that we have a strong little bean on our hands!!!!
It's starting to finally sink in, and we are now able to enjoy the moment at home, which is a nice change from the hormonal tornado's from the past month!!:D
So thanks for stalking me girls, it was the longest wait for a phonecall in my life XXXX
Sunbeam, you have made me teary!!! In a good way, that is the most lovely thing you did, you are a brave brave girl XXXXX
Now I will go back and read up on the posts properly and do some persies, I had a fly through, and saw everyone was having just as big of a heart attack that I was, LOL!!! So sorry for the suspence, but it almost killed me too!!!!!
Back shortly honeys XXXXX
:hooray: Murraycod !!
:happyforyou:
Celebrating properly now !!!!!!!!
Congratulations sweetie !
xoxo
:dance: CONGRATULATIONS :dance:
Murraycod
:happyforyou: :happyforyou: :happyforyou:
I am so excited for you Murraycod. You deserve this so much and your bubba is going to be so so lucky to have such a wonderful person as his/her mother.
Murraycod I guess its too early to even think about this but I am curious to know if you were to ttc no 2 down the track can you go on the meds for the NK cells whilst ttc and likely to get pregnant without IVF? I mean of course its completely irrelevant at the moment but I am just curious if you do know you have NK cells and take the steroids or ABs if it wouldn't be neccessary?
Anyhow of you go and celebrate lots.