Hey girls, I don't know that I officially belong in this thread as not TTC right at this moment (not by choice) but have been TTC #1 for just on 12mths. Have been following posts recently and felt i had to reply to Cherie's last vent. I soooo know how you feel and as the other girls have mentioned you are definitely not on your own. Life just seems so cruel to those who deserve better. There is not one woman in this thread that will not make a fabulous mum and yet we are all being denied what should be a fairly simple, natural wish. Not that I deny anyones right to have children, its just that some people do not realise how lucky they are or perhaps really appreciate the true miracle of pregnancy/birth - I am REALLY losing my patience hearing whinging over m/s, the sex of their baby or recently, great distress over the expected star sign of an as yet unborn baby!!!
So to Cherie and all of you great ladies -we WILL do this together, we WILL all be holding bubs in arms some time soon.
As for my story, I will try and keep it brief but I hope to join in here properly soon so i will share now.Also need to keep myself busy tonight as going in for surgery tomorrow and quite anxious.
Went off the pill this time last year -several months later still no AF. Saw my GP who did premliminary tests and gave me refferal to specialist. By the time I could get in to see specialist I had actually had an AF so I cancelled thinking I would be wasting her time. 6-8 weeks later only had a very brief, odd AF so rebooked appt. By the day of appt had actually started a more "normal" AF. Dr thought i just had unexplainable anovulation so was started on Clomid 25mg that same day and booked for follicle/general scan 9 days later. Had never had a scan before but being a vet am familar with ultasounds and did think something was odd quite quickly -am floored when the scanner asks if i could possibly be pg as I have a sac measuring 4w 2 d plus an active corpus Luteum!! Turns out I was pg even prior to the Dr visit but the amazing joy turned to hell 2 weeks later when I discovered I was going to m/c. My body was not prepared to let go easily so ended up needing D&C.
I was devastated but jumped back on the proverbial rollercoaster to try again. 2 rounds of clomid later with higher dose and pregnyl tirgger we got another BFP. Was so excited this time around as everything was just so perfect -great HCG/prog levels which were rising fabulously and I started to feel all the pg symptoms by 5-6 weeks. Scan at 7 weeks was one of the worst days of my life -baby was the right size and everything but no heartbeat and lots of bleeding around the sac. Had my second D&C on new years eve !! Was near hysterical for a few days and still an emotional wreck weeks later . Since then have never fully recovered -needed another D&C 11/1/06 (up to no 3 now!) due to retained placenta, was on three antibiotics and have had so many blood tests I can't keep track. Found out last week that the baby was a little girl and genetically normal (chromosome analysis) so the problem all lies with ME! Jeez, the burden of resposibilty we woman have in regard to reproduction is really hitting me at present. So, anyway, (sorry have just realised how much I have been rambling on) am going in for the complete "look around" tomorrow -laparoscopy/hysteroscopy/dye studies etc. Hopefully they will fix anything that needs fixing but i guess they may find nothing and I will just have to accept the unexplainable again.
Regardless, I am desperately hoping that soon after this we can at least start TTC again so I can be doing something positive. Will probably be onto puregon/pregnyl injections next time which doesn't bother me too much. i have realised now that I would go through just about any physical suffering myself so long as there is a baby at the end of it!!
So, so sorry, have really rambled on but I tend to do that when nervous. Hope I can chat with you all again soon about more exciting prospects. Good luck to everyone for upcoming testing/BDing or treatments.