Wow girls... so good to see so many positives in here at the moment - feel like I leave and suddenly everyone's luck changes (though I'm sad to see there are still some frustrating negative results too).
I had a 2nd blood test on Friday which confirmed it was a chemical pregnancy. Have an appointment next Thursday to discuss what my options are for next cycle.
Just wanted to quickly share... the exciting distraction that I had in the form of a few dates on the weekend before my blood test... well it has turned out to be a truly horrible experience (so glad it wasn't the week earlier or I would have wondered if the stress from this had been what caused the pregnancy to not take). The girl turned really nasty after I was emotional and in pain when I got my period (and I didn't even share that with her... just told her I wasn't pregnant). Anyway from talking to others about what she said and wrote and things she did etc I have realised she was playing with me all along and only wanted casual sex and since I refused to have sex at all she has now turned horrid. I feel so sad by all of this because it has been 26 months since I was intimate with anyone and I didn't want to rush into anything (thank god I didn't) but I had enjoyed believing that she really liked me (had stupidly believed her when she said she was really attracted to me) and I thought maybe something would develop in time. I feel really shattered because I opened up to her and trusted her at a time in my life when I was particularly emotionally vulnerable and she has just played me and now she has told me she doesn't want anything at all to do with me (how do you go from telling someone you think they are beautiful and sexy and kissing them to not even wanting to be friends with them within a couple of days when there had been no fight or no reason for things to change - apart from that person finding out they aren't pregnant?!)
Finding out IVF had been unsuccessful was hard enough but then having all this crap on top of that has just compounded it and then on top of that my ex (who I was still very good friends with and who had been a support through most of my trying to concieve journey) told me she doesn't know if she can be friends with me any more because she is hurt that I could like someone else (even though we split up 6 months ago and hadn't been intimate for the last 20 months of our relationship anyway). I thought we were doing okay as friends but it turns out she still hadn't completely let go and she told me she was still very emotionally invested in our friendship and all this has made her realise that maybe she needs to walk away completely.
I feel like I'm grieving for the lost / failed pregnancy and my best friend (ex) and the new girl all together. One thing is bad enough but the combination of all of them is just proving a bit too much to bear at the moment.
Lori
(Word of advice - dating is not a nice distraction from the 2ww after all!) :-(
Dreamrise- I hardly know what to say. It's awful when people we were counting on disappoint us. I'm so sorry your friend has let you down (at least you found out sooner rather than later) It's a big world of people out there- there's someone there who will love you and treat you right.
The situation with your ex sounds difficult. Hopefully there's enough history and respect there to help you get through this time as friends.
I'm sorry about the chemical pregnancy. It's cruel.
Hang in there, the dark times will pass.
T4Fam- So sorry this wasn't your round.
Murraycod- I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. Good luck with the formality!
Hugs
Maggie
Last edited by Maggie; May 30th, 2010 at 11:44 AM.
dreamrise so sorry about the chem preg and everything that has happened right when you need the support
AFM: I feel like yesterday didn't happen lol but have been happily making baby presents for my new neice and soon new nephew or neice. so it's keeping me busy. post transfer injection tommorrow then on friday and before we know it it'll be the following week and we'll find out...
Bookmarks