LTTTC Two Week Wait 2013 # 4

[myturn]

I think myturn used to post a chart at one time, not sure if she stalks here

She stalks.....

[myturn]

Also that chart I posted wasn't totally correct as the morula comes before the blastie... N2L taught me the one.... But anyway... It's something to work from....

Ps... Miss.b... Can't tell you how sorry I am babe so so sorry xoxoxo and the hugest hugs xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[thirdtimelucky77]

Thanks Miss B! This is the one, brings back memories from 2012... Super grateful.

Saffy, Mrs O'M, and Joeve - thank you both for popping in, and miss B for sticking around! Alright, alright - you've twisted my arm... I'll stick around it would be selfish of me not to keep the stalkers entertained! No I'm not bring sarcastic I seriously feel its my duty and the least can do, to not have to be doing this journey in my own... Is bad enough DH is overseas!

Tonight I have sore boobs and lower back pain and instead of working on a presentation i have to deliver on Thursday (yes the same days as my blood test) I slept for 3 hours this afternoon. I haven't been sleeping very well Same as being pregnant, constantly getting up to wee... Thanks for the side effects pessaries... Just the 4 kids and I for the weekend.. So fingers crossed the girls sleep for a few hours each day so I can try and get some work done! I don't have much else to report, which isn't very exciting for the stalkers At least the trigger is gone and yes I will not tsp now until Wednesday morning (or knowing me possibly Tuesday morning, when I get sick of myself and am stressed out trying to get into the new week... One thing I won't be doing is testing over the weekend. I've promised myself I won't do it. Love to everyone and hope your having a great Friday night xx

[Miss.B]

No worries 3rd time lucky. Will have my fingers and toes crossed for you all the way

Thank you myturn for the hugs, really means a lot hun. The buggers are making me come in for a BT on Monday, I really don't see the point, but anyway, gotta go on the record I suppose..

[thirdtimelucky77]

Bugger Miss B - sorry you have to go in for the BT I hope that it as least adds some value for any future cycles you may decide to do...

AFM - I can't sleep more than 6 hours a night, I wake up and can't get back to sleep?? I'm so tired.. I'm craving cheese. Sorry to bore you with that useless piece of information, but with DH away I have no one to talk to really. We are not telling any of our RL friends what we are doing. They don't understand. And my 3 BFf's have all chosen not to have children. So they understand even less. I have a very slight ache on my left side at the front very low, just above my Caesar scars. It's only noticeable because I'm paying attention... And that's it such an exciting update! I have nothing to cook for dinner and as my 12 year old just said "this fridge is an abomination" it must be bad cause he offered to watch the twins while I went food shopping! Unfortunately, as amazing as he is - he's just a tiny bit young to leave with 2 babies for 40 minutes. One baby - no probs but 2? Not really fair... So it looks like we all have a date with the supermarket xx

[Miss.B]

Thanks hun . How did the supermarket shopping go? lol. Hopefully the little blastie is snuggling in there . Wow, that's hard with all 3 BFFs choosing not to have kids, it must be hard not to have that support and understanding. All my close GF have kids, so I have great support, and out of the 4 closest GF I have, 2 had to go through IVF, so they really understand what I'm going through ATM.

[thirdtimelucky77]

Hey Miss B - I'm so glad you have understanding GF's in RL! I would love that! Yeah it's really interesting, with my 2 clsest BFF's they are both 41 and both said "if it happens it happens (around 5 years ago and ever since then) but if it doesn't happen then it's obviously not meant to be". I personally don't understand this approach. To me having children is like anything, if you really want something badly enough, you'll do anything to make it happen. Both have amazing husbands, who would be brilliant fathers, and would have loved to have kids....

One of them went to my FS, and had tests, DH had MFI and she said she just couldn't face IVF and all the tests etc. I think it's really sad, but I have learned just to bite my tongue rather than risk the friendship. I think all 3 of them will regret their decision when they hit their mid 40's and they are no longer fulfilled by overseas holidays and nice restaurants, but hey they are my best friends, so I just support their decisions and they all spend a lot of time with my kids.

AFM, the supermarket was a nightmare! But I had to vote as well so it had to be done.... I am starting to get nervous and anxious now. For the first time since the twins were born, I went back and looked at our 2ww in 2012 on BB. It was so weird to see all the things I had written then, I am feeling and writing now again! Scary also that I got my bfp on 6dpt5dt - which is tomorrow (I'll be day 6pt in this cycle). I feel sick about has it worked, or not worked... DH keeps texting me from the other side of the world asking about symptoms, have I tested yet, can I hurry up and POAS etc, which isn't really helping my state of mind! I'm conflicted about if to POaS or when to POaS. I remember in 2012 I tested on the morning of day 6 and got a negative and then I tested in the afternoon and got a very feint positive. Maybe I will wait until tomorrow night, and then test? I have the sorest boobs I've ever had, but I know it's just from the pessaries. It's been kind of nice to have all these preg symptoms, it's reminded me of what being pregnant is like, and how happy I was when I got my last bfp. I know I am going to be absolutely devastated if this cycle hasn't worked. I normally have a really strong intuition about things, but this cycle - I am really confused. I'm so scared that it hasn't worked and that I will be heartbroken and it's just been so hard not having anyone to talk to IRL about anything - not even my mum! I know what everyone would say - you already have 4 kids, isn't that enough blah blah blah, and don't get me wrong, I am incredibly grateful for our babies, we are so lucky.... But that doesn't make the wishing and waiting any easier. In some ways I wish I had just had my transfer so I could have another week or wishing and wondering... On the other hand I can't wait any longer..... Aggggghhhhh the 2ww is such a roller coaster So I will be testing, the real question is when. I feel like I have never wanted anything more in my life! But I know I'm not the only one there - everyone on the journey feels the same.

Miss B, thank you so much for still checking in, in here. I can imagine that you might just want to stay away from the 2ww and have some space. It means so much to me that you are still here (that said I would totally understand if you cant or don't want to be in here)... It's really kind of you to care and keep me sane in the process and I just want you to know how grateful I am! Day 5 post transfer today....

Xxx

[Saffy]

I think you have some good symptoms there third time lucky, so I would be getting those little sticks out soon.......I'm gonna get in trouble for saying that .....don't let me pressure you, just crossing my fingers xx

[thirdtimelucky77]

Right that's it.... Saffy has spoken (and let's face it I didnt need much of a push ) in the interests of fairness (and this stupid uni assignment that have been trying to work on for the last 3 hours during twins nap time) I think we better wait for any conscious objectors (who may or may not be stalking - myturn we need you!!! - and I'm not being sarcastic in case that's what anyone thinks) who want to pop in and remind me it's too early!

I know in my brain it's too early... But my cheese and chocolate craving emotions, I cried watching the Biggest loser re run (ridiculous I know) are forcing me towards the pee sticks!

Soooooo I know I'm going to get a neg, but if I force myself to 3 more hours study (DH's best single mate has just turned up and offered to take all 4 kids to the park for a few hours - I don't know why he doesn't have a woman, seriously what kind of childless bloke turns up and offers to take your 4 kids for a few hours so you can get some stuff done?!!!!! He's a dead set catch! Anyway, back to original train of thought..... My reward for my study, is going to be a POAS (unless someone talks me out of it). I'll get a bfn, stress overnight etc etc and then re-test tomorrow.

Plan? Xxx

[juniper76]

I never had implantation bleeds on IVF cycles, only from natural pregnancies for some reason. One was about a week after ovulating, one was the day my period was due.

Like saffy I only ever had implant bleeds in my natural pg and not the ivf ones....

I was the opposite. I had a bleed with DD (at 14dpo & 15dpo), but none with my other 3 (natural) BFPs. I read that implantation bleeds are more common with IVF when the woman is taking low-dose aspirin (or other blood thinners) as part of the protocol (which was the case for me - I was on low-dose aspirin during the IVF, but not for the natural BFPs). Ironically, my 3 natural BFPs were also my 3 m/c - so I had no worrisome bleeding for any of those.

I never went for my BT when I did my IVF cycle as I knew it was AF and no way did I want them to call me and tell me what I knew. They got a bit cranky that I didn't go.

I just had to call my FS's office and report that AF had started. They never wanted me to come in for the test if AF had already started. With my IUIs last year, I generally skipped the b/t even though AF hadn't started because I had tested at home and knew the answer already.

[myturn]

Oh yes.... Planning to stress yourself out tonight and lose sleep then HAVE to POAS every day for the rest of the week and feel miserable sounds like a great plan.... If that's how you get your jollies...


Personally I say wait for the day of BT.... You will just feel crap and miserable. It's not a good way to live.

[thirdtimelucky77]

As usual myturn you make excellent points!

But I am a POASer, so I think I will test, but you have maybe convinced me not to test today....

It would be a waste of a good pee stick after all....

Xx

[myturn]

By all means test if that's your thing..... Just as long as it helps you.... If it makes you feel crap then it's not the right choice... That's what I reckon anyway

[Miss.B]

Lol, there you go, normally I'd say test test test!!! but I'm with my turn, if you test tonight, you'll feel really crap if you get a neg. I'd say test tomorrow arvo if you really want to test, that will be 6dpt and that should give you a result either way. Good luck Hun!

We'll I'm off to do the BT tomorrow, is it too rude to tell them not to bother calling unless it's good news ? Lol

[Saffy]

That's not a bad idea Miss B!

[thirdtimelucky77]

Good morning everyone,

I am feeling super emotional this morning, so I just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone especially Miss B, Juniper and Saffy who have been here to keep me company in the 2ww. I am so grateful to you guys. The last 6 days have been really tough for me cause DH is away and I cant talk to anyone IRL about what is going on. Having you guys "in here" has meant the world to me, and it seems fitting on a Monday morning and with 3 more sleeps to go, that I take the time to thank you, from the bottom of my heart. The 2ww feels like a torture chamber that I wouldn't want my worst enemy to be subjected too.... And it's so weird when you consider that it either ends with either head in the clouds happiness or a heavy heart sadness.

Either way and whatever the result is, I just wanted to let you know that your support, and care has been deeply appreciated and that it is so special to have the same BB friends around me in this 2 WW as I had in my 2ww in 2012. That has been so special and has been a bit like 'coming home'.

I am going to test today - but I am taking Miss B's advice, which has been supported by the amazing Saffy and I wont be testing until late this afternoon. Myturn, I slept on what you said and I think you are right - it is only a good idea to test, if it will help me. To be honest in this situation I think it is the best thing for me to do, for me. I had always kind of decided that I would test 6dpt, because this is when I tested with the twins (which is probably a good reason for not testing today - as the beautiful Amy_jb pointed out, my hcg was probably higher, earlier with the twins, because there was 2 of them) and also DH is coming home late on Thursday night. My BT is Thursday so I will get the results while he is in the air and I want some time I absorb whatever the result is and get used to it, before he arrives home. If it's a negative - I want some time to process and cry before DH arrives home. I don't want him to come home after 10 days away from his family and find me in a mess. If it's a positive, I would like to keep testing until Thursday to see if the line keeps getting darker so that I can tell him on Wednesday night, before he gets on the plane. My DH flies a lot, so he doesn't worry about things like MH370, however I do and even though I fly a lot as well - I'm terrified of flying. I always worry something terrible will happen to him and it doesn't help that he was supposed to be in the exact place MH370 was supposed to land at exactly the same time (and on the same airline) but the only reason he delayed his trip was so that he could be here for the transfer... If anything was going to happen to him, I would want him to know the result. Oookkkaaayyyy - when I read that comment back, I feel like I'm a crazy woman and my hormones are seriously out of whack!! That kind of came out wrong (if something happened to him, the last thing on my mind would be whether I was pg or not!)...

ANYWAY.... I am going to test late this afternoon. My transfer was at 7.30am last Tuesday, so it will be 6.5 days theoretically, when I test. I'm not sure realistically when you are supposed to trust the test, but I think Miss B you tested on 6dp5dt when you got your bfp? If it's a neg then I will wait and test again Wednesday morning, if it's still a neg then I will feel like I can start the grieving process. I feel quite calm this morning. Thank you lovely ladies for getting me through the weekend and for encouraging me not to test last night....

Btw - my boobies were so sore last night I had to sleep in a bra! I am not very well endowed in the chest area, and the twins were not breastfed - so they have never been very interested in my boobs... But interestingly, last night before I put them to bed, twin 1 was grabbing for my boobs?? I know it's probably just the progesterone, but I know people talk about animals being able to 'sense things' like those Bisson running out of Yellow Stone park last week (because apparently they can sense an earthquake) - does anyone think babies would be able to sense hormonal changes? I thought it was really interesting!

Sorry for the rambling... And the ridiculously long and uninteresting post! I've been awake since 4am, (my sleeping has really turned to cr*p since I've been on the pessaries). And tbh, being in here was a good way to distract myself from the
pee sticks calling out to me from the bathroom cupboard!

Happy Monday everyone, I hope you have a great start to the week. And before I test, I just wanted to say thank you for being here for me... I hope that I can be here for you too in your next 2ww. I will come back after I have tested, later today.

Xxx

[myturn]

TTL.... That sounds like a very sound plan xoxo

Good luck, I'll be crossing everything for you xoxo

[Andie78]

another stalker wishing you all the best, ttl... xx