Thanks Maggie Pie and Mindhugs for your experiences and kind words....

I am still not pregnant- well not that i know of. i find out for sure in 7 days but to be totally honest im not really that hopeful. In fact, i am not positive at all anymore about conceiving naturally. Ive kind of resigned to the fact in my head that i cannot conceive naturally. I have been trying for 1 year and 10 months now. My very expensive herbs are running out and to be honest (despite the 'all- natural' way i am and how i live) i am a bit over natural therapies. Im sick of tonics, pills, herbs and powders and im not going to do it anymore. If Im not pregnant this cycle (which i dont think i am, im not feeling any different) then i am going to start putting the steps in place for an IUI the following cycle. I have been putting this off for so long as i was always hopeful i would conceive naturally- ive known my whole life that i would have kids!! But after nearly 2 years, its obvious its not going to happen and i need to accept that and move on. The thought of it makes me want to cry. Its not right that i have to have a police check, child protection check, blood tests and make a psychologist appointment before they even consider you for IUI. Its a real slap in the face i think. But as i said, i need to just do it and get over it.

Will let you know the results in a week's time of whether im pregnant or not (not hopeful)....

It's funny- everyone talks about needing to be healthy and in balance before having a child, wanting your child to enter the world and making sure you are primed to be great parents before you decide to try. Ive decided that that is all crap. My friend just fell pregnant in one month and she has always hated children- its her husband that wants them more. Another friend (male) always used to tell us how he hates kids and called them devil's spawn and he loves to drink- sure enough, his wife got pregnant straight away. My cousin smoked through both her pregnancies and was never serious about her now ex-partner, now she is a single mum with 2 kids. So i now think that being physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially aligned before you have kids is crap. I know this is negative, but it is true. (these emotions just part of the ride.....i'll be ok!)

Thanks to you!!

B.