Hi all,

I havent posted for a while b/c I needed some mental 'time off' from thinking about IVF etc after my first cycle in May. We had a collection of 4 eggs from 5 follies, all of which fertilised. We transferred two on day 2, and froze two. It appears that I had a short term implantation as I did have an increased HCG temporarily, but it all went away. I was surprised at how sad I was, as rationally I know that many pregnancies end before our period is even due, but the difference was that this time I KNEW

We waited a month, and then startd another fresh cycle, keeping two embies on ice. I am 39 and have had one VERY high FSH reading, so time is of the essence, and we were advised to try again with fresh. Last cycle I didnt do HPT at all, but this time I have been, because I wanted to KNOW what was going on inside. This cycle, we had seven follies, for seven eggs, but only four fertilised, and one didnt go on to develop further. We had a grade 2 embie frozen, and had assisted hatching and a day three transfer of the two best embies. I started doing HPT 4 days later so I had abaseline of negatives, and by saturday had a positive HPT. It was positive on sunday and again this morning, but the line looked fainter today, and I am so scared that this means I am losing this implantation again. I had my BT this am (one day early) as my shifts make it impossible to get in tomorrow morning, so I am now just waiting to hear the inevitable news.

I am so sad. I KNEW that there was a high risk that these would not implant too, and I knew the risk of doing the HPT was to 'see' that happen (if that makes sense), but I really did feel hopeful once I saw the 'thin blue line'.

SO anyway, I just needed to 'talk' about it, because although there is an inevitability to what appears to be happening, I cant help hoping that someone out there has had similar experience but still got a BFP with their blood tests.

Thanks for listening