NEED TO VENT and NEED SOME HOPE

[Bronze]

Hi,

Well my hubby and I are on a 12 month break from IVF after a disasterous 12 months which involved 2 miscarriages, 5 surgeries, methotrexate injections, ambulance trip, emergency trip and just a whole lot of drama.

I have PCOS and since my last curette in Aug 2010 I have not had one period or even a hint of one. I am trying to lose weight and just regroup after a shocking year of dissappointment and stress. I now have adrenal fatigue as a result of all the procedures and prolonged stress.

What stresses me now is the fear that because of all this drama that it won't ever happen. We have been TTC for nearly 5 years and have had 4 IVF attempts, 2 that did not take and the last 2 were miscarriages.

I found out today that another friend is pregnant and fell in the first month!!!! I am used to this now but it still hurts.

Does anyone else have a similar experience? I am so hopeful but scared at the same time of never getting there. We are hoping to try again after a holiday in July. Thank you for reading this, even just typing it makes me feel a bit better!

[~TT40~]

*bug giant gooey hugs*

[Saffy]

sounds like you have been through a massive ordeal in the last 5 years, no wonder you need a break. I have only been trying for just over 2 years and it feels like a lifetime!

I do know someone who was ttc for almost 10 years (ivf) and now has a beautiful baby girl, so while I'm not saying I hope it takes you that long, there is hope that it can work. Miscarriages are very traumatic but my FS also seems to think that its a good sign you can get pregnant and will eventually get a sticky one.

I hope you period comes back ( have you spoken to a DR about it?) and you begin to feel your body is getting back on track, maybe have a go at acupuncture? It seems to be able to sort peroids out, for me anyway.

Coming from a medical perspective (midwife) you would be surprised what your body can do, people get pregnant agianst all the odds, babies grow despite all sorts of things and people bounce back from all sorts of medical problems. I really hope you can get nice and rested on your break and enjoy your holiday.

Its so hard seeing people get pregnant easily ( how do they do it?!?) and they will never understand what we have been through. I hope you get your forever baby soon sweetie xxxx

[Hollybolly]

This little path some of us have to take is the most horrid of horrid paths

I'm a success story of patience & perserverance... from start to finish, it took us 8yrs, numerous surgeries & 6 full stim cycles to get our little man who is 9 months old now.
Many issues along the way too - but there is always hope xxx

The science of assisted conception and IVF is forever evolving & improving... specialists are learning more and more.... anything is possible

Have you seen a specialist that works specifically with your issues (PCOS, repeated miscarriage)? It might be worth researching one in your area and seeing them as well. (The girls on here can help with this xx)

I think it's important to take a break (However hard it is to do) after having such a traumatic year (mentally and physically)... in that time, maybe look at trying some natural remedies to help get your body back into its groove (Chinese herbs, acupuncture etc) - I used both of these plus vitamins/supplements from a naturopath alongside my IVf meds... it's important to be gentle on yourself too xxx

There are many incredible, inspirational ladies on here... many of us trying for anything up to 10+yrs... lots of positivity you can draw on here... and there's always much encouragement

If you've got any questions, feel free to ask away

[emc2]

Close relatives of mine have just had their little one.

They did IVF, then PGD, then had their names down for overseas adoption, and they ended up using donor sperm.

Don't give up if you want to keep going.

[LizLemon]

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Our IVF journey for our first took two years, and it was the hardest time I've ever been through. And around me people were getting pregnant and it would just kill me.

I think the break will help, it certainly did for us. We had a big holiday and rediscovered each other and our life apart from IVF. Our next attempt was a success and I honestly think the break made a big difference.

Every IVF success is a miracle and I hope that these stories give you the strength to keep going with your dreams. Big hugs to you.

[Bronze]

Thank you so much for your replies, it means a lot to know that people care enough to not only read but reply with some inspiring news, thank u!