I am so sorry to hear that you have to go down this road. DH and I have been TTC now for about 19 months and we found out in June last year that he has pretty bad sperm (we hit the jackpot - low motility, bad sperm antibodies, abnormal etc). From the outset here - go and get hubby a vitamin called Menevit from the chemist - we did and when we had our first transfer the IVF scientist told DH that his motility had improved heaps (depending on your IVF clinic and when you are going to go adn see a specialist - only get a small bottle to start as our clinic gave us 3 months supply of this when we paid our rego fee - see below)
When we first went to see the specialist we were told that we would be able to do IUI and that the doctor would run some tests first just to make sure. After lots of tears and me getting forever frustrated with our specialist we were told that we could only do ICIS due to DH's poor everything. From the sounds of it you may have to go straight to ICIS? Only your specialist is going to be able to confirm this though. We have had one round of IVF with ICIS and it failed begining of December - we have one frozen bub left and will try that in a couple of months.
Money wise - it is the one thing that puts me off. Our first appointment with the specialist cost $125.00 (from memory) and you get a fair bit back from Medicare (ask how much when you make your first appointment). I think the next appointment cost something like $66.00. I saw her 2 times. We then had to pay a registration fee at the IVF clinic. Ours was about $250.00 and this got us 3 months supply of Elevit for me and Menevit for DH - it is something that I had to be on anyways and DH was already on it so you are getting something for your money there anyways.
It cost us $6,265.70 upfront for the IVF plus $1,475.00 for the ICIS. We got about $5,000.00 of that back from Medicare afterwards.
We then had to pay about $300.00 for the anesthetic at the hospital - we got some of that back from Medicare.
We had to pay about $1,000.00 for the private hospital (we aren't in a private health fund - this is our choice as we were told that the only thing covered in private health was the hospital fees - we would have had to have waited a year to be covered adn would have ended up paying more than $1,000.00 in private health fund fees anyways - like i said though - our choice).
We also had to pay about $160.00 for the syneral spray - we got this throught the IVF clinic. Our puregon and crinone was paid for as part of our IVF fees.
In relation to telling family - we did.....sometimes I wish I hadn't only because (a) my mother would ring and ask almost daily how it was going after our egg transfer and it would drive me insane (b) I still get the "oh relax" and "oh when the baby is screaming its lungs out and you can't eat lunch/dinner in peace or sex will only be 5 mins when you have no time - when you have a baby" comments. When we told DH's mother the first thing she said to me was oh you just need to relax, it takes time you know - this was after I had told her about DH's sperm issues. I also wish that only a few people at work knew but I work in a small business place and its hard to have all the time off without people asking questions. When we go for our FET I will only be telling the boss.
In relation to time off - I had quite a bit.....it depends though on how far away your specialist is (ours was 1 hour, 15 mins away). Some days I had a whole day off because by teh time I drove there and back, saw the specialist and the IVF clinic half the day was gone and I would find myself forever working back, during lunch hours etc just to make up the time.
Also if you do live a fair way from your specialists (now I don't know what the situation is from state to state - I am in QLD) - the government over here pays for travel - you have to fill out some travel forms from the hospital and I get about $30.00 per trip - every cents helps!!!
I hope this has been a help. Other girls on here are goign through the same thing. Make sure you ask heaps of questions and my advice - if you dont' feel comfortable with your specialist or the IVF clinic - CHANGE!!!!!! On my second trip to the specialist I was alone (DH was working away) and she spent the whole time talking to my boobs and made me very uncomfortabel to the point where I wouldn't go see her alone again, I also got conflicting stories from the specialist and the IVF clinic and yeah wish I had of changed before we decided to go ahead with the IVF as it only got worse from there! Go with your gut - it might cost a bit in fees but in the long run you have to be comfortable!!!
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