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Thread: Scream, cry, vent! #2

  1. #73

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    Jan 2004
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    Yes, I just can't understand that attitude. You would expect her to be number one supporter


  2. #74

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    Apr 2005
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    Hi Belinda - I too don't fit very well into either forum as I've only been TTC # 2 for 6 months but I know I will end up doing IVF as I did for #1. It's easy to say "let's take a break from TTC" but how the hell does one do this when 1000 things happen in a day to remind you that you are childless. There's no way I could ever stop thinking about it and relax like everyone said. We may as well give ourselves a labotomy (sp?) because that's the only thing that would stop us thinking about it. I remember how guilty I felt when I finally conceived on my first IVF cycle because my girlfriend was having similar issues and still hasn't been successful. But bloody hell - I deserved it - and so do you!! Don't ever give up hope because that's all we've got. If your're not happy with your gyno - bugger him - get a new one. I love mine (not literally). He gave me the facts about concieving naturally and said it would happen.... eventually, or I could get on with it and go straight down the IVF route and have a 50% chance of success (and it worked for me). Unfortunately it's not this easy for everyone but I wish I hadn't tortured myself for so long TTC naturally.

    So basically I don't know what I'm trying to tell you except there are people here that are more than happy to listen and support each other. I guess we just have to pick ourselves up after each AF, dust ourselves off and start all over again every month. But honey when it happens (and it WILL happen) boy do we make the bestest mums in the WHOLE world cause we're tough!

    See you in the TWW thread

  3. #75

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    Hi everyone,

    Here we go............

    My DH was diagnosed with 100% abnormal sperm a couple of weeks ago after TTC for almost a year. Mind you his parents had a good idea that he would be infertile as the dr's told them that when he was a child after a undescended testicle operation. I guess they didn't think it to be important enough to tell us!!

    So, the only chance we have is with ICSI. I have been seeing a lovely IVF specialist at Melbourne IVF and am now booked in for the appt with Counsellor, Nurse and dr again on June 2nd and can then get things started after that.

    I have a beautiful 7 year old daughter already(previous relationship) and realise how lucky I am to have her, but she's not getting any younger either and desperately wants a brother or sister.

    I've been really spoilt this mothers day...bacon & eggs for brekky, a great book that my daughter made for me at school and heaps of cuddles.

    I still feel a bit sad today............(probably selfish self pity)

    Went out for lunch with the inlaws today and they are more than happy to sprout off about everyone who is pregnant or just had babies. Everyone seems to think that what we are beginning will be a walk in the park......I wish.

    DH is devestated that it's his boys that won't swim and I try to reassure him that it'll all work out, but it's hard when you don't believe it yourself.

    Is it normal to spend every waking hour thinking about having babies??

    Thanks girls, I feel a lot better now

    Ali

  4. #76

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    Feb 2005
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    It is very normal to feel this way. Don't beat yourself up about it.

    Unless someone has been through the experience of infertility, they don't understand how challenging it is to your self-image. It is very disheartening to not be able to do what so many others seem to do effortlessly.

    Hugs to you and DH. I'm glad though that you also have your beautiful daughter. I'll bet she's a real sweetheart.

  5. #77

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    It is absolutely normal Ali. And can I also add that when I was 40 and pg. with number 1, I thought OK this is it, I will be happy with one. But already having one does not seem to make it any easier when you decide you want no. 2. Sorry, I don't mean to offend the girls that do not have a child as it does sound selfish compared to what you guys are going through, but just want to reassure Ali, that having one does not make the longing go away.

  6. #78

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    Thankyou for your replies. I'm relieved to know that this isn't just a selfish thing on my behalf, as being in this site, there are so many more girls just as desperate for a baby as me that don't yet have any children.

    It does make it hard when you see so many people with babies that couldn't give two hoots about them, when we all so desperately want more children.

    Thanks again

    Ali

  7. #79

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    bbtrail,

    When I began posting on BB, I too was really worried that as I've had three children naturally, and had a tubal ligation (which was unsuccessfully reversed) that that made me less deserving of falling pg as some of the girls here who have not yet had a child.

    I do believe I would be made of stone if I didn't feel that way.

    But you know what? I reckon the girls here not only understand my heartache from months and months of TTC, but they've never told me that I should consider myself lucky to have had kids before and they have never told me that my despair and anger about the unfairness of my failure to fall pg is unjustfied (though others outside this forum have)

    These girls here are just the most wonderful bunch. They know how hard it is for them, and empathise with how hard it is for you, even when the circumstances are different. All of it (the BFNs) are heartbreaking, and therefore universal. It's painful not to be able to do something as 'simple' as fall pg to your 2nd child (or your 4th, as it is in my case)

    Especially when it's been going on for years and years...

    I love the girls here. They are truly my anchor to sanity.

    love
    sushee

  8. #80

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    Sep 2004
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    Aww Sush, Im so glad you feel that way.

    I personally have absolutely no hard feelings toward women who want more children, as opposed to those of us who are yet to conceive. I do believe that certain parts of the situations are different - but as is the case with every single individual in here. We are all going through so much the same, but yet so much in each of our lives is different - and thats what is so good about our being able to all get along and support one another.

    Im not sure I would have done very well, mentally and emotionally, over the past 12 months or so if it werent for my dear friends from BB.



    Keen

  9. #81
    ann Guest

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    I want something to start happening!!!!!!

    OK, I'm on BC pill, so we don't have the stuff up like last time, I stop the pill on the 21st, start Progynon on the 25th along with BT's and u/s's, so I'm looking forward to starting everything, but at the moment I'm just waiting, waiting, waiting, and along with that DH is away for a month 1000km's away.

    I hate waiting! ](*,)

    Not to mention, stuck in a place that I hate, not being able to get decent work, and it's bloody freezing!

    Hows that for an early morning whinge.

    Ann

  10. #82

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    Oh Ann honey, its such a crappy journey we are all on, isnt it?! Especially when there is nothing that can be done any quicker and we have to sit around twiddling our thumbs, just waiting!

    Know how you feel about the waiting. Since December I have not been able to do anything (bar the lap) at all toward getting us a baby! We have to wait until July to have another try at IVF and it feels like forever away! And in the meantime, babies galore all around me, pregnant women all around and cute little bubba clothes all mocking me, as I have to just continue to wait.... :-({|=

    For you the not having DH around must be frustrating - especially when you are so unhappy with where you are living at the moment too. We'll keep you company


    Keen

  11. #83
    ann Guest

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    I think I forgot to mention also we have a mice plague!!

    The two things that freak me out in life are Mice and snakes!

    Apparently due to the drought and now the cold the mice are coming in droves.


    ARGHHHH

    Suppose I'll just wait for the snakes hey!

    Life just couldn't be more rosey for me at the moment. (written in jest)

    Ann

  12. #84

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    Sep 2004
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    WA
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    F**k- AF is here but PGD approval for the clinic isn't. Blasted backward state that I live [email protected]#[email protected][email protected]#[email protected][email protected][email protected][email protected]#$

  13. #85
    ann Guest

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    Oh Sheree,

    #@$#$%^%#%$^%#

    I'm sorry.


    Ann
    PS what happens now?

  14. #86

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    Sep 2004
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    WA
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    Now I wait.....

    We could do a stim cycle with blastocyst, but the PGD results from SIVF really did indicate a big problem with our embies and even at blastocyst they could be abnormal. I just don't want to get all "stimmed up" for an embbie that may be abnormal.....I've got to get serious as it's attempt #14 after all!!!!!!!!!!!!

    It just seems such a b***h to have been close last month and now have to wait!!!!

  15. #87

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    Oh Sheree, this deserves a ***** **** [email protected] **** all if it's own!!!

    Bl&%dy waiting....bl%&dy backward state we live in! WA is so behind on everything!

  16. #88

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    Sep 2004
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    Its total bulls**t that you have to wait for something that is readily accessible in many other states and has been for a while (at least). I hope they get off their butts and hurry up with approving it - so you can get on with things..... AAAarrrggghhh!



    Keen

  17. #89

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    Jan 2005
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    2hrs from Sydney, NSW
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    OK here's my gripe for today... after holding off TTC to wait for surgery, which was supposed to be a 1-2mth wait as a priority 7. Dr operates fortnightly: 1major + 3minor surgeries. I've been pushed to 3.5mths wait.

    Hosp said I would've been on list for 20/6 (as was only 1 in front of me), however 4 new priority 2 patients booked in & says maybe end July, unless more get in front of me again.

    AAAHHH, I'm not important/urgent enough & I'm expected to hold off TTC in meantime, what a JOKE. Possibly having something eating away at my reproductive organs isn't important/urgent enough to warrant a higher priority with a Gyno.

    I've been getting pain/discomfort almost daily, since my appointment with him, so might fax him with this info & see if I can get pushed up to a priority 2.

    Sick of this waiting already, as if TTC isn't enough. Sorry, know most of you have had to wait longer, but I'm just so disappointed/upset/peed off now.

  18. #90

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    Feb 2005
    Location
    Perth
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    Shell, that is a major pain in the but, or should I say 'insides'. I did have a 3 month wait to get my laps done, but that was because of the amount of people, not priorities. Definatly see what your doctor says, I know that constant pain feeling & yes, it should be upped on the priority list.
    Have you any idea what the other ones are, or what creates a higher priority?

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