I can understand your sadness and difficulty with this situation,been there - although not with triplets.
As some of the posts above suggest - could you get your DH to ring on the behalf of both of you. Your post indicated he was dealing with this better so he's probaby the best one to ring. Or, perhaps you could send a card?
Do they know your difficulties in TTC? If so, just let them know somehow that you are happy for them but just need to time to come to terms with your own sadness that comes at these times.
Above all else, you have a right to feel sad, angry, frustrated etc. Your feelings are those many of us LT TTCers have felt and struggled with over time.
As for coping, do what you need to do to get through this. Find someway to treat yourself, maybe some retail therapy, pampering etc, and lean on those you know you can trust for support. Here's another just for you.
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. I don't have any wonderful advice, well, none that the girls haven't already shared.
I just want you to know that I know how you feel. 9 (yes 9!!) of my friends are pregnant right now. I feel like I haven't got any girlfriends to hang out with at the moment who don't make me feel like cr@p!
I'm sorry that you are going through this right now
I just wanted to share with you my story, I'm not sure if it will help it is meant to and not rub your face in it even more...
I am the the other woman, the one that falls PG without trouble, my beautiful SIL is the one that has had the losses and the heart ache. I had three bubs and one miscarriage during the time that she was trying to conceive. I am so pleased to be able to say that she now has a lovely DD. It was tough for both of us we live 5min from each other and did lots of family things together she worked hard I am sure at being a great Aunty and I worked hard at not being insensitive to her situation. I guess that what I'm trying to say is that hopefully your SIL and other family members, are sensitive and will be aware of not cracking any jokes and will not rub your face in it. Best wishes for your BFP
Thank you so much for your very kind words and your advice. It actually helped me a great deal, and I had DH read this thread also. He said he understands me better, and why I have been reacting the way I have, and that I am not alone in my behavious, if this makes sense.
I guess this is something that I just have to come to terms with and just try to focus on my own efforts TTC, without being selfish, and to think about myself. As I can't keep going on focusing on SIL.
I am searching for some hope for the future and pray it finds me soon. Thank you again.
BDT - I really feel for you. When I was in the midst of OI and then IVF, my sister fell pregnant pretty much in the first month that they started trying also (although only with 1 baby). I was so happy for her, but so completely devastated for us. It really did feel like God was punishing me. What I ended up doing was sending my sister an email (maybe a bit of a cowards way out, but I knew I would fall to pieces if I tried to tell her in person). In that email I told her how happy I was for her, but that I was having some difficulties with coming to terms with everything due to what we were going through. I told her that I still wanted to know how everything was going, but asked for her to understand if I didn?t react straight away (to things like scan photos, email updates etc). I told her how bad I felt ? almost like I was raining on her parade, but that I needed to take care of my emotional well being. To be honest it took me until she was about 18 weeks along before I was able to feel total happiness for her, without feeling any sadness for us.
You will get to that point also. I wish you all the best.
You poor thing!! I think that's the worst thing of LTTTC - hearing other people falling pregnant and of course everytime they say 'oh it was an accident' or 'we fell pregnant first time'!!! ARRRRGGHHHH!!!
Hi, as the male component of a couple that's going though IVF (7 cycles already), all I can say is.....VENT !
Every failed cycle breaks my heart, but I know it breaks my wife's heart even more, so even though I can't bare to see her crying, I know its my duty as a husband to support her as much as I can.
This is the same. She might be her sister, but YOU are his WIFE ! and he needs to understand that you need to vent in order to release some of your anxiety.
On the other hand, life is unfair sometimes (I guess if you're reading this forum chances are that you feel life's been unfair to you) but you got to make the most out of it. Comparing your fortune / kids / house / car / health / etc to others will never result in anything positive.
Focus on what you want to achieve and stay positive and forget about everyone else in the planet.
If it helps in the short term while you are feeling so fragile (not that the fragile part gets much easier) then send them a card to let them know you are thinking of them without having to actually speak at this stage. Most importantly, take care of yourself
oh babydreamtime, it SHOULD be your time! BUT things dont always go the way we want them to which SUCKS!!! i know it doesnt really make you feel any better as it wouldnt me either BUT just think she has 3 times the poo and wee! and i personally think one healthy full term baby is something to strive for more so than 3 most likely premmies, it wasnt her choice but thats usually the case. I actully WOULDNT want triplets, too hard! and i dont think it would be an enjoyable pregnancy, too much worry and strain on the body. Also im thinking of u, i hope this is your year!
I actually know what you are going through because I went through the same thing! I started trying last year and after two months, my best friend told me she ran out of pills and she fell pregnant. So ... in other words, they didn't even need to "try"!
I cried the whole night that night because even though I haven't tried for long at the time but I felt the world was so unfair!
... at the time I started thinking she is pretty, she doesn't need to go to work, her parents are so rich, they got so many houses and businesses and the worst of all, she didn't even need to try and was pregnant!
I became so bitter and I found it difficult to call and say congrats to her. I did it and she raved on the phone call on how cute the baby is in the ultrasound and how excited she was ... etc etc.
She was overseas and came back to Aus a few days ago and the first thing she did was to call me and asked when I was going to visit her and her baby who is now 3 months old. And obviously, I am still ttc at the moment so i was completely sour.
I visited them and also told her that I have been trying for a while and had no success but clearly for people who never needed to try, they would not understand what I went through and am still going through.
Echo what aramis7 said upstairs, if we start comparing these things, it's an endless game and it's never fair. So what I started telling myself is think positively! I may have been a failure in this respect but I am sure there are other things in my life that is worth me being proud of!
Anyway ... hope you will feel better and will start thinking positively ... in case we start hearing other similar stories around us again, we can't just live a sad life!
Best of luck with your journey and we hope we all walk out of this soon!
I can understand your sadness and difficulty with this situation,been there - although not with triplets.
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