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Thread: TTC with an 'older' partner - your thoughts and experiences?

  1. #1

    Default TTC with an 'older' partner - your thoughts and experiences?

    I am in my late 20's, but my DH is quite a bit older than me (mid 40's). We are TTC and I was wondering if anyone has been in the same situation here. Would love to know how those with older partners feel and any obstacles they face or are over coming. Would love to hear any experiences you have/had or any thoughts?



    I know that men don't have such a strong biological clock compared to women, but there is more and more research suggesting that age does have an impact.

  2. #2

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    Anyone??? Maybe I am posting in the wrong forum.....

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    It may possibly have an impact on sperm quality, although not always the case. Get him on some Menevit just in case.
    You may be better posting on the general ttc forum.

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    Hi Kristine,

    I'm nearly 28 and my DH has just turned 40.

    Just as the fabulous ButterflyForever mentioned, the only issue we have had with DH is the quality of his sperm. Menevit or zinc tablets do wonders (so I've heard... I can't get DH to keep taking them without nagging him!) for this.

    Hope this helps!

  5. #5

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    Hi kristine!

    my Dh is 39 and I am 27. we haven't had issues from his end (well that we are aware of) BUT that being said, we decided that to be on the 'safe' side to get him on Menevit. he swears by it! there's a new one out that i saw the other day called 'spermax' (basically these are just multivits that are specially good for boosting healthy sperm numbers etc). really worth IMHO.

  6. #6

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    i am 30, DH is almost 45 - we TTC for over 3 years before having success late 2008 and meeting our princess last year

    DH had MANY semen analyses due to fertility issues i have and the treatment we required - his swimmers (volume, motility, morphology) were never a drama. general lifestyle factors CAN impact things - so it's a good idea to live healthy (no smoking, cut back on alcohol if he's a drinker etc) - if you've been TTC a while, it's worth getting both of you checked out

    we had a "stop" point in mind - we would TTC until DH turned 45 - yes, he isn't as prone to the biological clock thing, BUT, he was born to an older father and lost his dad young (mid teens) so he wanted to stop at that point "just in case". having said that, he is 45 next week, adn we haven't (and won't) take any precautions to prevent a pregnancy just because he is older.

    i guess, given his age, talking to a GP about getting an SA done just to see where you're at may be a good idea

  7. #7

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    Thanks for all your answers. Good to see there are a few more in the same situation. DH went to a SA today and we are getting the results next week so everything is fine. He always has had quite a healthy lifestyle and doesn't drink or smoke at all. He also has been on Menevit since a while, so I guess now we just have to wait and see. It will be good to know, because then we can either eliminate it or see what we can do about it.

    Wish you all good luck with your TTC journey!

  8. #8

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    DP is a little older than me.

    When I was 36 and he was 43, we got pregnant within 6 weeks of meeting (subsequently miscarried).
    When I was 37 and he was 44, we got pregnant within a couple of months.
    When I was 40 and he was 46, we also got pregnant within a couple of months.

    So age is not always an issue and yes, fingers crossed you will be fine. I like to joke that I have the ovaries of a twenty-something and DP likes to joke that he has thoroughbred little swimmers. And we both drank like fishes and smoked prior to pregnancy - not something to be proud of but I've added as reassurance to people who may be concerned that their past lifestyle may make it extremely difficult.

  9. #9

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    When we were TTC Pip DH was 45, now he's 47 and we have successfully concieved 2 kids with him in his mid-late 40's and me in mid-late 30's. Good luck!!!!

    (FWIW, the most trouble we had was his, er, energy, IYKWIM)

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    Hi fionas and kazabah, thanks for sharing. It is reassuring to hear that age does not always has to be a problem in TTC. All the best to both of you for the rest of your pregnancies and birth.

  11. #11

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    Hi Kristine

    I am 31 & DH is 53 & we have a 4 month old. DH's other sons are 27 & 34 & he also has 4 grandchildren, aged 12, 10, 3 & 3 weeks.

    It was an interesting decision for us to make. DH wasn't really into it at first, but didn't want to hold me back and once we made the decision he started coming around. Then as the pregnancy progressed he started getting more excited. Now that DS is here, I tell you he is such a great Dad! He says he is a lot more patient & relaxed this time around. He is very young for his age & so still has bundles of energy for our little monkey. I think it's also great that he has been there before and has plenty of experience, and is not interested in spending all his time hanging out with his mates like other younger guys.

    He says the hardest thing to get used to is, after years of having his life back, he's now returning to having a life revolving around a baby, but that he loves it so much it doesn't matter. It can't be all that bad though, he's keen for another!

    If there's anything else you want to know, just ask.

  12. #12

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    Yay! for other people in same situation!
    I'm 26 and DH is 48....while we are still in early days of TTC, DH did have a Vas reversal a year ago. but due to circumstances at the time we never found out if it was successful or not. (he thinks and feels it was)

    we have thought about the multivit for a while, but everytime we see it and how much they cost we think..oh we will wait a bit longer. but I think we should just start taking it soon.

    Hope to stay posted on whats going on etc.. Its really good to have other people around with the same age gap as us. We don't really have much support because of it (people have gotten better over time) but everyone thinks i;ve thrown my life away in terms of having babies, cause i'm with a man who already has 6 children (1 is older than me) and 4 grandchildren.

    all the best Kristine!

  13. #13
    smiles4u Guest

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    my story is around the other way ... i concieved my first earth born bub naturally and drug-free birth at 40 and my DP was 30, when i was told by specialists the odds were highly against me !!

    I have a friend who had her 1st born a DD 4years ago when she was 29 and her DH was 51 ... they recently just had twin baby boys, her DH is now 55

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