Very tired!!!!

[MummyDuck]

17 months on and I've had enough. I've been in metformin because no one wanted to use clomid and had surgery and been poked and prodded with so many needles and had 2 scans a month for 6 months. One bfp lost at 9 weeks.

This Wednesday I had my o scan and it was too early (40 day cycles for me) and again today to say I already o'd and as yet another needle was inserted I was screaming on the inside - I've had enough.

I'm tired of the pointless trips to the hospital and tired of dtd when I don't feel like it and dh isn't enjoying it either. I'm tired of the anxiety each month brings and the ibs each ovulation brings and the wasted money in poas tests.

I was going to demand clomid next month but I think I left it too late..... Because I want to stop obsessing over a baby!!!! My heart can't but my head wants to.

Sorry for the vent - just feeling a bit down about it at the moment - Xmas was hard with my friend falling pg the same time as me telling me how she is feeling kicks (I had a mc) and I keep trying to be happy for her but on the inside I'm crying - not out of jealousy but because it's a constant reminder that's where I should be now too.
And my cousins baby at Xmas - dd and I fought over holding him

I'm just tired of it all


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[peanutter]

couldn't read and not post ...

hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs.

FX chlomid works really well for you, and you get your BFP sooner than you imagine.

[RhiChiChi]

I really understand your post, I feel the same way chick. I wish things were different for you & I really, really hope that 2012 brings you a must deserved BFP.

[MeredithD]

I needed to relpy to. It is so awful to try so, so hard for something and just have not any real control over whether you achieve it.
TTC is supossed to be "natural" and "easy" like it seems to be for a fair majority of the population.
For those of us who struggle, it becomes the most difficult, heart-wrenching and traumatic thing life could throw at us.
I truly hope you get success very, very soon.
Yes, you should push for clomid or whatever treatment you need. If your Dr won't oblige then find another one - it might be well worth the change.

Just an added thought and certainly ignore this if you are not keen. I used clomid many yrs ago when trying for DS and then switched to OI and IUI. I really found the IUI took A LOT of the pressure off DTD. DH still had the burden of producing his "sample" at the right time and it is an added medical procedure but for me, I found not "having" to dtd when told to a lot easier on the relationship

[MummyDuck]

Thanks girls - It was really just a teary I kind of needed.

I actually think I need to have oi because my cycles are just soooooooo long because of my pcos. Will definately tell the dr I've had enough now and I want some intervention. My previous obgyn (before a fs) would have put me on clomid 6 months ago but he is retiring and it's a struggle to see him, I think he is ONLY taking previous patients who need an ob now see what happens in 16 days - PERFECT timing - ill be around day 2 of my cycle if all works out right.


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[buffy1]

I'm so sorry. TTC sucks, and LTTC even more so.

Hope 2012 brings you a BFP x

[Marley&Me]

to you MummyDuck. I too have ridiculous long annoying cycles from PCOS Is it the FS that won't give you clomid? Have they told you why? My cycles dropped to 32 days on clomid, made DTD a lot easier because we knew when. Do you use OPK's?

It's so frustrating to have long cycles, it just feels like wasted days. I hope somebody can do something for you in the new year. They just don't understand the crap we put up with.