Return to work... but how many days should I do?

[EllaElla]

I return to work in 4 weeks after 12 months maternity leave and like most here i am anxious!

DH doesn't have a job but is looking so I am faced with having to go back full time and then asking to drop back to 3 days when he does get a job. The reality of my boss goign along with my request for 3 days from 5 days is very slim!. I said this to DH and I don't think he really understands as he said I could resign. I am in a good job, well paid and I have worked at it for 13 +years. The thing is I am not ready to just give it up but I really don't know what to do. Has anyone else been through the same thing, Is it wrong to want to maintain work for a few days at least?

I don't want to put DS in care for 4 days a week (3 is my max). If I did resign I would end up working something low paid probably and then just covering the expensive cost of care. We dont have the option of family help as we are from the UK!!

Hope someone out there can give some advice as I am feeling pretty alone on this one.

Thanks
:-)

[cheekyfrog]

Ella, not sure what to advise. I went back to work full time when DS was 9 months old and it was really hard. I was given the undertaking by my boss that if the wheels fell off then I could work part time. The wheels haven't fallen off and I've now been back 15 weeks. Still breastfeeding at lunchtimes too as I have DS with a local mum who lives a street way from work. I would love to be working part time though. Like you, however, I have no family support and worse, my DP isn't even in the same town. DS is doing so many new things now that he's turned 1 and I'd really like to be spending all my time with him rather than handing him over to someone else five days a week. So I know how you feel! If you can somehow manage to go back part time, it might make it easier to start off that way. Good luck!

[Campari]

I work in the public service so have pretty good "family friendly" conditions, at least for the first two years... so not sure if what I have experienced will be possible for you, but..

I took 12 months off, then returned for just 2 days a week for the first 5 months. My DH (also public service) dropped down to 4 days a week so DD was just in care for one day initially (and this was with a mum's group friend, we swapped kids once a week!) Then I upped it to 3 days a week (started daycare too) - partly for financial reasons, but also because my boss was happier for me to work 3 days and would be more likely to extend the part-time arrangement beyond the "compulsory" two year period if I compromised early on and did 3 days. I can definitely see his point of view, 3 days a week is a lot more productive than 2, and I really "own" the position (have someone else job-sharing for 2 days a week). I feel exhausted by the end of the third day, its tiring, but professionally I think its the right thing to have done and I get a lot of job satisfaction out of it. I LOVE my Thursday's and Fri's at home, truly, I appreciate them so much more. Financially three days a week is pretty good - I am still in a low tax bracket so I don't earn that much less than 5 days. I have been fortunate to have a pretty flexible system. My DH has just lost his job (contract ran out and isn't being renewed So, we will be struggling for a while until he finds something else, but we can scrape by on the essentials with my 3 day wage, just! I wouldn't want to work full time again, I would rather be poor!!! I reckon go with 3 days from the start, if you can!

Sorry for long winded reply... !