Barb;

I find it offensive that you say I've had a child to have him "raised by someone else".

When DH and I decided to have children, we wanted one of us to stay home and look after the child. We made the decision that I would go back to work full time and DH would stay home and work part time. We cannot afford for one of us to stay at home full time. I earn significantly more than DH and it makes financial sense for me to be the one working full time.

Unfortunately DH was unable to find part time work in law in Shepparton, where we were living at the time. It was not an option at that stage for me to go back part time. So we had to move to Melbourne. DH was unable to find work part time at all, and neither was I. This is why we both work full time.

This is not a matter of choice. If we had the choice, one of us would be at home with Alex, but it is not financially possible, nor is it possible career wise.

I did not have my son to have him "raised" as you put it, by someone else. We have chosen our two carers very carefully. One is a thirty-something mother of two, and the other is an Iranian grandmother. They both love our son, and I see it as "the more people who love your child, the better adjusted they will be".

It is not as if we "dumped" him in full time care because we wanted to. A lot of people are in the same situation as we are. He is in care because we have no other option (my parents and DH's mother work full time and DH's father isn't really capable of caring for a child).

If someone would offer me part time work at a pro rata rate to what I am earning now, I would jump at the opportunity to spend more time with my son. As it is, it is simply impossible.

I love my son dearly. He is happy and well adjusted, and learning at a better rate than most children his age.

If you or others see him as being "raised" by someone else, I'll just say that "it takes a village to raise a child".

Please understand my point of view. I understand yours. I literally don't have any other option.