Barb,
I must agree with Divvy. When I fell preg with my DD I was living & partying O/S. Children were never part of my future plans as I only ever wanted to travel & see the world. But living in the village environment that I have in Bali & now married to my DH whom is Balinese, we only stay in the village as I hate wasting money at a Hotel when we have a perfectly loving family that we can stay with, I prefer to have the remoter style life too. I have noticed it has taught my DD alot about material items. All babies born in Bali are brought up by the entire village, something I can see works perfectly!

My Dh has only been living in Australia for just over a year, I worked F/T for the lat 4 years & prior to that I was at home all day with my DD, as I had the same thoughts about not wanting to put her in Child Care, but then I was offered this job & the rather decent salary that I am on. So my DD went to a good friend whom took her then to Kinder etc with her daily as her kids were the same ages, then to school all of last year, I paid her a minimum but she was happy to help. I have to honestly admit even though it was not Child Care as such, she learnt alot more there than being home with me every day without money to do anything, as a Sole pension is very little having to pay rent bills etc. She was fairly clingy & soon after I started working F/T her hair begun falling out behind both ears, it was due to seperation anxiety as we were & still are VERY close!
When DH arrived he spent his days with her until he found work, we boughta house in Oct & we bought a house infront of a unit my parents had just bought, so every morning I take Maddy into my parents & Mum drives her to school & picks her up again.
Now that we are expecting again & my Mum works part time & my Dad has MS, we won't be able to leave a new born with them. I ccannot leave my job as I earn more than my DH, but without his wage either it will make things too tight to pay off this house, sop we know we have no choice, once my annual leave & Maternity leave is used up I will come back to work & our baby will go into Family Day Care. I have no problem at all with this decision, bafter seeing many already, at each place the children are loved & cared for... They even seem to adjust better to starting pre school, etc.. Maddy now is always going to friends houses after school, I believe bbeing away from me has given her that extra bit of confidence to stand up for herself.
I will miss my baby like hell, but we have to have a roof over our heads & be able to put food on our table.
Maybe when you are in a different situation & have commitments like a house etc to pay off you will understand that we simply don't have a choice...

Most of my friends have their kids in a day or two or even full time care & they all cope.

Thanks!