Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: Do you miss work or being a SAHM?

  1. #1
    cazoraz Guest

    Default Do you miss work or being a SAHM?

    I have been a SAHM and full-time uni student since my first baby was born almost 3yrs ago now, so I havent been in the full-time workforce since then. Recently I have been on full-time teaching rounds, as well as working a couple of casual jobs and still doing uni full time, and while they were hard to get used to at first, I found myself loving it and loving being back at work and doing something I really enjoyed and found important.

    I will be a fulltime teacher from December this year, and cant wait. But I do feel a little guilty that I dont want to be home with the kids fulltime anymore...I know they will be fine with DH and Lucy will also be in kinder 3days per week which she loves, but I sometimes feel like maybe I should want to stay home, but its just not me.

    I prefer to be running around doing way too many things at once and work best under pressure. I initially took 6months off uni when Lucy was born, but got so bored I was hanging to go back to uni.

    A friend of mine has a young baby and her & her husband are struggling a bit for money, yet she refuses to go back to work at all because she has always wanted to be a SAHM. Even though they dont plan on having another baby for another 4yrs, she is still not going to work at all in the meantime, even though her mum is home and able to look after the baby if need be. This I can understand if she was happy with their financial situation, but she always whinges about it and wants her husband to find a better paying job and work overtime all the time. It bugs me and I have to bite my tongue because i cant undrestand her logic at all!!

    Did anyone feel guilty that they were doing the opposite of what they thought they should be doing? ie. if you were working full time, did you feel bad about not being home, or if you were home full time, did you miss working and earning money? Is it a personal choice or is it based on finances?



    Thanks
    xxxCaz

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Adelaide
    Posts
    238

    Default

    Well, it's early days for me, since my DD is not quite 7 months old, but I find I miss having regular social contact with adults! I don't miss the "work" aspect of my job, and would be happy to spend all (or at least most of) my time looking after Tamsin, but I do just miss having conversations with people. I am planning to go back to work part time in a month, and DH will be going part time too so we can share the care of Tamsin - so it's not really a financial decision, we just both want to have that time with her.

  3. #3
    Sal Guest

    Default

    Finances are very tight in my house, but I am loving being a SAHM and would love to remain one until DS goes to school proper. I don't think anyone should feel guilty about preferring to be at work than staying at home - whilst I love it, I can understand how some women go stir crazy just being in the company of a baby/small child. Me - I just love it!

  4. #4
    Kirsty77 Guest

    Default

    I went back to work when Gemma was 4 months, a personal decision really as I felt I needed a bit of adult stimulation and I didn't want to be out of the work force for to long as I knew bub #2 would be soon conceived.I must say I am really looking forward to maternity leave at the end of june.I miss Gemma so much when I'm at work(I work 3 days a week).I think striking a balance has been the key. And the other thing that influenced my decision to go back to work was that we felt that Gemma needed some interaction with other kids/people other than just us(shes in daycare).Again a personal decision.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    1,814

    Default

    I miss being a SAHM and like Kristy, I'm counting down the days until I start maternity leave again in August.
    I had six months at home with Emily, I didn't want to go back but I am the bigger earner out of the two of us so not much choice really. I was miserable at first and wanted to quit every day. I promised DH I would give it a month and if I didn't feel better he agreed we would look at it again....after a month I was much better (but still not really happy) so I stayed.
    But I don't think I'll be going back after I have this baby.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Giving the gift of life to a friend..
    Posts
    4,264

    Default

    I am the same as you Flea, although I do enjoy my work, I earn a lot more than DH & on his wage we'd have to sell our home & lose what we have achieved.
    I have family that look after Indah & I am happy with that! I returned to work when Indah was 4 months & hated it spent everyday for the first 2 weeks in tears on the verge of quitting, DH felt guilty too & it made it hard! But by the 4th week I was back into it & Indah is happy & doesnt seem to mind, my niece & nephew adore her too & so although I'd love to be a SAHM, I know I cant be... So I am happy with my decision.

    I know a family that is struggling terribly it is really hard to see, but she refuses to do anything about iut, yet cries to us about her situation, I even suggested delivering pamphlets or doing something when the kids are in bed at night, but she wont, so i guess the situation cant be that bad, coz I know I'd do whatever I could for my kids!
    I have given them shampoo, soap, tinned foods etc to help out, but I cant do it all the time & dont think they should rely on us!

    I am lucky I have a job I like & family to help look after our kids... If you saw the MOthers Day card Maddison made for my Mum you'd see they have a WONDERFUL bond & I think it's really special!

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    In my Zombie proof fortress.
    Posts
    6,449

    Default

    I am happier being at home than at work and DH is the same, as he does not want Maggie in longterm childcare. Even if we were happy with childcare, it is rare in our area, so I don't have much choice with work anyway. I am looking for work to do from home, but this take times, which I don't have a lot of at the moment. Eventually I wouldn't mind 1 day at work, just for the change.

    I am still entitled to have a bit of a whinge about money though as much as the next person.

  8. #8
    Sal Guest

    Default

    Astrid, I fully agree, just because one makes the personal decision that staying at home with the children is the most important job in the world, doesn't mean that finances won't be tight and some venting about being poor isn't warranted!

    I could earn WAY more than my DH and would be willing to go back to work and him stay at home until DS is at school (I don't believe daycare is a real substitute for the one-on-one special care a child gets at home - my personal belief). Right now he thinks work is easier than looking after a baby but that might change. As long as DS is at home and happy, then I'd be fine going back to work.

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Giving the gift of life to a friend..
    Posts
    4,264

    Default

    Ladies, I wasnt meaning anyone here & I hope I didnt offend anyone...

    If you know this family I am sure you would understand, but I dont wnat to get into their personal situation on here...

    I still whinge about money & I think everyone wishes there was more... But this family is different to a family managing & looking after their kids...
    She gambles, he drinks, they both smoke, but dont have food for kids, this is what gets to me...

    I wish I could stay home, I'd love nothing more, but I know, we would be going backwards fast & I have my family... I would not send my kids off to anyone else...

  10. #10
    Sal Guest

    Default

    Tracey, no offence here! Sounds like you are a very caring friend, giving food etc to help out your struggling friend. And suggestions for earning cash that won't impact being a SAHM are very helpful if they are in such dire straits! You are certainly very lucky to have family help look after your kids

  11. #11

    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    2,121

    Default

    When my DD#1 was 12 months i returned to work 2 days per week. I lasted 7 months - then quit to stay at home with her. I couldnt see the point in having a child and then going off to work when i didnt really need to. I had a really good job and was sad to leave. But the guilt i felt when leaving her with my mother or DH (hes a firefighter, therefore works shift wk) was overwhelming.

    Ive just had #2 and wouldnt dream of returning to work.

    I figure its 5 yrs out of my life, and if one can afford to stay at home, why not.
    Last edited by mbear; May 15th, 2006 at 03:37 PM.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •