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Thread: Help, I'm facing a dilema.......

  1. #1
    MUMMY4LIFE is offline .: ~ Don't regret anything that ever made you smile ~ :.

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    Default Help, I'm facing a dilema.......

    I need some advice...

    I was a SAHM for 10 months, I returned to work 3 days a week and my DH was a SAHD and he went out and worked when I was home. This worked out excellent for us and ment we could both work and look after our son, family life and work was very balanced. Now 8 months later my DH has the opportunity to work full time, (which is great). I also have been offered a new position at work which would also increase my work load and income. This all sounds great (I know) but my DH says that Child Care isn't an option. My mum is more than happy to look after Samuel, but I just don't want to rely on her too heavily and also she holidays quite a bit and may not always be available. If she isn't available or Samuel is sick I would have to be the one to take time off work to look after him as I have leave entitlements and can still get paid for that time, but my DH doesn't have that luxury. This inturn would put a strain on my work and those I work with I am sure.

    The more I think about it, the more stressed I get. This is the biggest hurdle we have had to face more so then when I stopped work to have Samuel and we lost that second income.

    One positive thing is that with us both working now, it will help out when we have another baby, expenses & things...



    Maybe I am just worrying for nothing and everything will sort itself out...Anybody had the same probs or similar...please let me know would love to here your advice or thoughts.....

  2. #2

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    I live my life knowing that life will, work itself out & you will wonder why it was that you worried (I am a worrier too tho!)

    Also work is work, your family is your life & priority! So who cares if for a day or 2 you are at home with your Son & others have to do a little bit more!

    I would not worry, If your Mum is happy to have him I'd definately take her up on the option now & if in 6-12+ months time you feel it's not working then you never know by then DH's work or yours may have changed to suit you both more!!!!

    Good Luck!

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    MUMMY4LIFE is offline .: ~ Don't regret anything that ever made you smile ~ :.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Barley1
    I live my life knowing that life will, work itself out & you will wonder why it was that you worried (I am a worrier too tho!)

    Also work is work, your family is your life & priority! So who cares if for a day or 2 you are at home with your Son & others have to do a little bit more!

    I would not worry, If your Mum is happy to have him I'd definately take her up on the option now & if in 6-12+ months time you feel it's not working then you never know by then DH's work or yours may have changed to suit you both more!!!!

    Good Luck!
    Thanks for your response, I think just getting my post out there and perhaps chatting about it, it really doesn't seem so bad. Also to working with (majority) females you think that they would be understanding, but instead of that they are quite *****y (am I allowed to use that word) behind your back at times which is a shame....Thanks again

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    oops i posted something here then decided to delete it but can't work out how!!sorry

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    My mum has done the lions share of the childcare whilst DH and I have both worked, for 6 years now, and I try to have a backup b'sitter, mum and dad still holiday and have a life ( she works too) and we all shuffle around, I also have a close gf ( and bubs godmother) and Aunt to help out, give it a try, if it doesn't work, you can always revisit the issue. Just for curriosity sake why is DH against child care?? especially if it only occasional?? I found my kids loved it, they went 1 day a week, from 2 til 4 and moved on to kinder.

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    MUMMY4LIFE is offline .: ~ Don't regret anything that ever made you smile ~ :.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mumofbundlezofjoy
    My mum has done the lions share of the childcare whilst DH and I have both worked, for 6 years now, and I try to have a backup b'sitter, mum and dad still holiday and have a life ( she works too) and we all shuffle around, I also have a close gf ( and bubs godmother) and Aunt to help out, give it a try, if it doesn't work, you can always revisit the issue. Just for curriosity sake why is DH against child care?? especially if it only occasional?? I found my kids loved it, they went 1 day a week, from 2 til 4 and moved on to kinder.
    Samuel being our first born, my husband is an extremely doting Dad and is very protective (and all that stuff), I suppose he doesn't see some of the benefits of child care. He just gets concerned about how Samuel would react and they would all be strangers to Samuel and to us (child care workers)..He says he would worry the whole time Samuel is there and I guess he believes that no one can look after your child like it's parents. It's just an idea he can't grasp right now, a hurdle he can't yet jump over..I don't want to push him and I think he might come around at some stage, just have to wait and see.

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    I understand how he feels, I didn't want my kids there til I felt they were a little less vulnerable, once they could walk, and talk a little and knew what they wanted I felt they were a bit safer, IYKWIM. Thats why they didn't go til they were 2.

    Once there the benifits of all that really messy play that I didn't do at home was great!! I didn't mean to sound nosy, but what I was thinking was maybe if you started off with mum, and take him around to some of the childcare centres down the track, for an "emergency backup" only.

  8. #8
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    My first thought on reading your post is "why is DH against childcare"?
    It is all well and good to not want bub to go into childcare, but is DH willing to stay home full time so there is no need for bub to go to childcare?
    Just curious.

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    I guess I can agree the worry about having someone else spend all day with your child is scary. I find having Matilda in day care one day a week was so scary for the first 4 months, now she is in one & half days and she loves it there. I think if she ever cried or didn't want to go there I would have a more difficult time. DH however, can not drop Matilda off at day care because it upsets him so much. I call every time she's in and check on her, and if she's having an upset day I hurry to get to her quicker. They all know I want to know if she's unsettled and have had them call me once to let me know that she was unsettled & what they had done about it, and then they called 15 minutes later to say she was asleep.

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