Hi everyone

I'm just after some opinions here. This might be a bit long!

I am currently working on contract for a govt dept. My plan has always been to quit work after baby and be a SAHM. My DH works for the same dept, we work in the same building so our managers know both of us. It's not a job I love, but it does pay well and the conditions are pretty flexible. It's 5 mins drive from my home, and has free parking. It's a pragmatic choice, but I have no passion for it.

As I'm on contract, I've been exploring my mat leave options. My manager has agreed to extend my contract so that I can get my 14 weeks paid mat leave, but she also wants to know if I plan to return to work. I told her I hadn't made up my mind, in case the contract renewal was dependent on an agreement that I'd return.

So anyway, my manager came up with an idea that sounds tempting, but I'm really not sure if I want to do it.

She has suggested that after about 6 months off, I come back to work 15 hours a week. The plan also involves DH dropping one of his work days, so he would have bubs one day, and then potentially my mum would have him the other day.

It sounded like a great plan at first, and the biggest part of the attraction was that DH would then get a whole day with his baby, which could be great for their relationship, and great for us to share parenting more.

But having slept on it I'm feeling almost panicky about leaving my baby at only 6 months (even though he'd be with his dad and gran). This is before I've even met my baby, once I have him I'm not sure I'll be able to bear to leave him. I feel that 6 months is way too early for a baby to be without his mum for two whole days a week. I also hope that I'll still be breastfeeding.

I don't have to make a decision for ages, but I just don't think I'll be able to do it and it's really playing on my mind.

My manager's idea is to give me a new 12 month contract starting in November, so I would HAVE to return to work (unless I choose to quit) before then, so baby would be no older than 9 months, but manager is suggesting I return in August.

I think I'll ask her if she can start my new contract at the beginning of Feb (when my current one expires), that would give me until bubs is a year old to decide whether to return to work or not.

So what do people think? DH and I both think it's really important for one parent to be at home with their baby. We had it all decided that I will be a SAHM. Money will be tight, but we think it's do-able. I was almost looking forward to budgeting successfully.

This has really thrown a spanner in the works, because of the potential for DH to drop a work day and have one day a week with his baby, if this wasn't part of the plan I wouldn't even be considering it. I have no idea what is the right thing to do. My manager won't accept less than 15 hours a week, so it would have to be one day with DH, one day with my mum.

They're still very dependent little babies at 6 months, aren't they?

I really have no idea what to do. It was all sorted, I was going to stay home. But am I being a bit selfish denying DH the opportunity to have his son one day a week? Does it make more long-term sense for me to keep my foot in the door at work? Is it cruel to my baby to leave him for two days a week when he's that little? Can dads and grans replace mum at such a young age? Arrrrg!!!

Any advice on making this decision will be gratefully received. Anything I'm not considering? Is my reluctance more about me than my baby? That's the big question I guess, I'm really torn because of the opportunity for DH to spend more time with his baby.

Thanks!

Devon
xxxx

p.s sorry this is so long!