Sorry, but I need to vent!

I am currently on maternity leave, but went into work last week to show off my baby. It felt as if I had never left my reasonably well paying, high pressure job that had taken me several years of cr*p including years of study to get to.

Anyway, my manager said as a by comment; "Our business has really grown since you left and you would have been promoted to manager if you were still here, but now we hired someone else". I couldnt believe it. I had always wanted this, and suddenly Im gone for 3 months and an opportunity comes up!

I dont know why Im disappointed about this as I am happy to be on maternity leave. I love my baby and couldnt imagine not having him, but sometimes I think, maybe I should have waited another year or two. I know that even if I return to work it will never be the same, because I wont be able to do the exorbitant amount of overtime required to progress, and I think they know that based on what I did while I was pregnant (9-5 only).

Everytime I look at my baby I hate myself for thinking so selfishly, I could never swap the most adorable, beautiful baby for anything.