I'm currently on a traineeship which finishes 12th Dec, I then have a temporary position at the place where I am working at the moment which will go until 6 Feb. After that I'm not sure if there will be another position there available for me, my supervisor is trying (without much success at the moment!) to get funding from the budget to employ me in a full time position. I'm due to have bubs in late June/early July, so potentially I may not have a job from Feb until then. I don't like my chances of getting a job in another organisation being pg, and to be honest I do kind of understand why an employer wouldn't want to employ me at the moment, although I know it is discrimination...
DF & I were talking about it last night, he pretty much said that he expects me to go straight back to work after having the baby (or within say 3 months of having it). He is self-employed and mostly works from home, however he does sit in front of his computer for around 18+ hours a day...occasionally he gets IT jobs out in the field, but I don't see how believes he can run his business and look after the baby while I am at work..I mean, being a stay at home parent is a full time job in itself! Besides, I know I would prefer to be a SAHM, and definitely do not think I would be ready within 3-6 months of having birth to turn around and go back to work again...
DF believes I should, because we need the money, at the moment while his business is doing ok, it's not exactly raking it in and he isn't drawing a wage from the business at all, so I guess I am sort of the main breadwinner (on my crappy trainee wage ). He can be stubborn, and hard-headed, particularly if he strongly believes in something, he won't back down. I don't know how to tell him that I am just not going to be ready to go back to work that soon, and how does he expect to do his own work, and look after a little baby as well? You can't just feed it and put it back to bed again...it's a lot more involved than that.
I'm not sure if we will be eligible for any assistance from Centrelink, as his business does bring in quite a lot of money (but a lot goes back out in expenses too...). Can't remember the exact financials, but DF doesn't think we will get anything from them. Sent them an enquiry email last night so will see what that brings.
Oh boy...does he see why I worry about money now??? He always keeps telling me, dont worry, it will be fine blah blah blah...well, I don't think it will be!
And if you got through all that...you deserve a big block of choccie
You may find that he won't change his mind until he is confronted with the reality of life with a baby and realises that it won't necessarily be all that he thinks it is... And that's something to keep in mind as well. I know it's stressing you, but keep in mind that everything will change when the baby arrives, and even though he can be completely determined about what will happen at this point, his mind will more than likely change then as well.
hun, unless your DF is raking in mega bucks you will get assistance from centrelink, especially if you have no earnings for the financial year (and by the sound of it, so long as you dont go back to work, you wont be earning anything in 09/10 fin year).
Have a play with the on line calculators - it wont be a massive amount, but if you stop and do full calcualations (child care costs, work clothes costs, transport etc) it may very well not work out for you to earn a cent!
As soon as he realises how much work a baby is going to be on a day to day basis he will change his mind. He's not going to be able to run his business and look after your baby and he'll see that you really do need to be at home.
My DH has said he only wants me to take 12 months off (which is what we are saving for right now) and then go back to work full time. But I can almost guarantee that he will change his mind when he realises his little guy/girl has to spend everyday in childcare and we would miss out on that time with them. You can't get those years back but I don't expect him to understand that until he actually does become a father.
Just go with the flow for now babe - he will soon realise that you need to be at home and be "Mum" while he starts bringing home the bacon.
Just to second amysarah's post - when that little one is running around, baby will become the priority, NOT the cash - and I can almost guarantee that he will not want some stranger caring for your little one when they cant even talk to tell you what happened that day!
Ride the flow, get all the info you can from Clink for now and he will finally come around
Can you look for work that you can do from home or on a casual basis? Doing sales consulting for party plans, MCN rep etc could be an idea just to keep some money coming in while you are on leave?
if your partner isn't technically clearing anything (or much) from the business when you take out expenses (profit and loss) you'll be eligible for assistance. if he is clearing less than 1400 per fortnight (you should be able to work this out from his last tax return where expenses have been taken out), you'll qualify for an amount of parenting payment partnered. if you qualify for this, you'll also qualify for max rate ftba (around 150 a fortnight) and part of ftbb (depending on how much ppp is paid) - anything up to 130 a fortnight
i think your partner has to take of his rose colored glasses and wake up to what raising an infnat is really like. you simply cannot expect them to fit in with your work from home hours if you're working 18 hours a day. they don't need a feed just because it's lunch time and you have half hour off the puter! they are demanding, and NEED constant attention!!
if i were you, i'd be putting my foot down and simply saying no, we'll make it work, but i'm not going to have our child be an inconvenience to you in your work day. If, after the baby arrives, he pulls his finger out, can keep his business going AND take time out that is sufficient for the baby, then maybe you can rethink it, but i'd be making it clear that, until the baby arrives and you see how things are going, you're not "planning" a return to work at all!
Won't be eligible for Mat. leave
). He can be stubborn, and hard-headed, particularly if he strongly believes in something, he won't back down. I don't know how to tell him that I am just not going to be ready to go back to work that soon, and how does he expect to do his own work, and look after a little baby as well? You can't just feed it and put it back to bed again...it's a lot more involved than that.
He always keeps telling me, dont worry, it will be fine blah blah blah...well, I don't think it will be!
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