I'm just after some opinions here. This might be a bit long!
I am currently working on contract for a govt dept. My plan has always been to quit work after baby and be a SAHM. My DH works for the same dept, we work in the same building so our managers know both of us. It's not a job I love, but it does pay well and the conditions are pretty flexible. It's 5 mins drive from my home, and has free parking. It's a pragmatic choice, but I have no passion for it.
As I'm on contract, I've been exploring my mat leave options. My manager has agreed to extend my contract so that I can get my 14 weeks paid mat leave, but she also wants to know if I plan to return to work. I told her I hadn't made up my mind, in case the contract renewal was dependent on an agreement that I'd return.
So anyway, my manager came up with an idea that sounds tempting, but I'm really not sure if I want to do it.
She has suggested that after about 6 months off, I come back to work 15 hours a week. The plan also involves DH dropping one of his work days, so he would have bubs one day, and then potentially my mum would have him the other day.
It sounded like a great plan at first, and the biggest part of the attraction was that DH would then get a whole day with his baby, which could be great for their relationship, and great for us to share parenting more.
But having slept on it I'm feeling almost panicky about leaving my baby at only 6 months (even though he'd be with his dad and gran). This is before I've even met my baby, once I have him I'm not sure I'll be able to bear to leave him. I feel that 6 months is way too early for a baby to be without his mum for two whole days a week. I also hope that I'll still be breastfeeding.
I don't have to make a decision for ages, but I just don't think I'll be able to do it and it's really playing on my mind.
My manager's idea is to give me a new 12 month contract starting in November, so I would HAVE to return to work (unless I choose to quit) before then, so baby would be no older than 9 months, but manager is suggesting I return in August.
I think I'll ask her if she can start my new contract at the beginning of Feb (when my current one expires), that would give me until bubs is a year old to decide whether to return to work or not.
So what do people think? DH and I both think it's really important for one parent to be at home with their baby. We had it all decided that I will be a SAHM. Money will be tight, but we think it's do-able. I was almost looking forward to budgeting successfully.
This has really thrown a spanner in the works, because of the potential for DH to drop a work day and have one day a week with his baby, if this wasn't part of the plan I wouldn't even be considering it. I have no idea what is the right thing to do. My manager won't accept less than 15 hours a week, so it would have to be one day with DH, one day with my mum.
They're still very dependent little babies at 6 months, aren't they?
I really have no idea what to do. It was all sorted, I was going to stay home. But am I being a bit selfish denying DH the opportunity to have his son one day a week? Does it make more long-term sense for me to keep my foot in the door at work? Is it cruel to my baby to leave him for two days a week when he's that little? Can dads and grans replace mum at such a young age? Arrrrg!!!
Any advice on making this decision will be gratefully received. Anything I'm not considering? Is my reluctance more about me than my baby? That's the big question I guess, I'm really torn because of the opportunity for DH to spend more time with his baby.
I think that 6 months could be a bit early IMO but the 12 month option you mentioned could possibly work - i think having DH and Gran looking after DS would make you feel more comfortable than placing him into CC - plus by 12 months you could be looking forward to going back to work - worst case scenario you go back, try it out and see if you like it - I know not neccesarily the most professional approach but you have to bear in mind that you can't forecast how you're going to feel in 18months - but this way you'll at least have something to fall back on - and the 14weeks paid leave would definitely make it more appealing
I'd say that if you are worried about leaving bubs while you work already you are going to be 100 times worse when bubs has arrived. I wasn't too worried about putting my son in day care before he was born. He'll be going into full time day care at 8 months. Now that he's here I am absolutely dreading it and we are madly trying to work out a way for me to stay home but have not been able to do so yet.
If I were in your position I'd stick to the original plan. I soooooooooo wish I was in your position.
are you allowed the "half-pay" option for your maternity leave? I also work in Govt (but state govt & not in WA) and we're allowed to "stretch" our leave & take half-pay, same as our sick & holiday pay (which has to be taken prior to maternity leave being taken).
Your in a similar position to me, i have 6 months full paid mat leave starting at the end of Nov and i plan to take an added 6 months because i feel a six month old bub is too young to be left and i plan to BF. I'm still tossing up whether to come back at all cause i am simply board with my job and any case if i do come back it would only be for two days a week.
My thoughts are never to shut any doors because you just don't know what is around the corner.
Thanks so much everyone for taking the time to read my mammoth post and respond.
The more I think about it, the more I am convinced that I won't want to do it at 6 months.
I will talk to my manager about coming back later, but if she says 'no' I think I will go back to plan A, take my paid leave and then not go back.
I'm going to sit on it for a while, and let DH think about it too - partly it will depend on how much he would like to stay home one day a week. We can both assess it when DS actually arrives.
I can take mat leave on half-pay if I want to, will definitely have a think about that. Might also ask if I could work in the office for one long day, and perhaps do two half-days at home. She can only say 'no'.
Satya - I do hope you can find a way to stay home with DS.
Hey there, just to add another point of view - my friend came back to work when her second bubs was just shy of 6 months old, she was still b/f, the idea was for her to express at work and then go and b/f whenever she was around the CC place, which was in the city.
Having said that, she has since found it really hard to express and feed while at work. Its not that work isn't supportive, she just struggles to be able to disappear for a half an hour or so to express... as a result her bub is now taking solid and she's not feeding anywhere near as much. Supply/demand - she isn't around her bub for the demand, so the supply is disappearing!
I'm in a similar position at the moment - trying to plan return to work. Its tough!!!!
I'm torn, no idea what I should do.
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks