Working Mummies Support Group

[veus]

If I hear "what have you been doing lately?" one more time I am going to scream! What do they think I do? All I do is get up, get the myself and children ready, drop them at school/kinder/cc, work, then do the pick up, then half the week take them to activities, go home, cook dinner and collapse.

Hehe this made me chuckle coz I totally get it. My answer is 'surviving' and some just look confused.

I'm venting too. Works annoying me. I'm bored and being micromanaged But I don't feel 'productive' still even after being micromanaged. DH used to work from home a lot but now have to go work in the office. So that means DD is in childcare until we can go get her unlike previously DH can just go at 5 on the dot. Now she gets picked up nearly 6. So we thought let's see if we can one of us goes in early and the other normal so one can come back early. It has to be me for early so I can sort out her dinner etc. but work with all their 'oh u have flexible work hours' have decided that 7am start won't work for them. That earliest is 8 which would mean a 4pm finish with 1/2hr lunch. For what I do, it's actually more productive when there's no interruption for a few hours so I can get some work done and then when everyone else rocks up I can do other parts. No. So I've decided to look around for something else. Not sure how its gonna go but gonna give it a try anyways. Sorry for long rant.

[wysiwyg]

Its such a hard one, I do like the quick chats with DS, but I do wonder if it does more harm than good.

I think part of the problem for me is the mummy/wife guilt.

When I go, DH is on his own. We don't have any family close by who can help - so he is juggling it all on his own. Working full time, doing the day care drop off/pick up on his own, bed, bath, dinner etc.
I think this is where the guilt comes in to it, I know doing that on your own with a 2 year old is hard work!

It is tough especially I think with younger children. I would happily leave DD (4) with DH for longer but not the two of them. DS (almost 2) requires too much man handling and DH back plays up, and although DH is great with them and better round house than me, he is not so great at just cuddling and calming - and that is so important before they are properly verbal IMO. I am quite a straightforward person really and don't really suffer from guilt alot, which is a blessing I think.

Feeling a bit venting these days. A few SAHM's locally have made a few comments that have really aggravated me. One was carrying on about concerns about vacation care, yet she does not use and does not even have a child that is old enough to use it (eldest at 3yo kinder). Basically told her to pull her head in, that how can she comment on something she has NO experience of and if other parents have concerns then should stop gossiping and talk to the council who runs it!

If I hear "what have you been doing lately?" one more time I am going to scream! What do they think I do? All I do is get up, get the myself and children ready, drop them at school/kinder/cc, work, then do the pick up, then half the week take them to activities, go home, cook dinner and collapse.

I am amazed at how often about all sorts of things people moan/gossip when have no idea but also do nothing about it. DH calls it "someone should do something" syndrome.

I don't really know how people fit stuff in apart from the pick up drop off collapse thing, and I don't have activities or dinner cooking to do when working (new office get a main meal really good quality for $5 so I am having that and DH sorts himself out - so is only snack tea to do)

Hehe this made me chuckle coz I totally get it. My answer is 'surviving' and some just look confused.

I'm venting too. Works annoying me. I'm bored and being micromanaged But I don't feel 'productive' still even after being micromanaged. DH used to work from home a lot but now have to go work in the office. So that means DD is in childcare until we can go get her unlike previously DH can just go at 5 on the dot. Now she gets picked up nearly 6. So we thought let's see if we can one of us goes in early and the other normal so one can come back early. It has to be me for early so I can sort out her dinner etc. but work with all their 'oh u have flexible work hours' have decided that 7am start won't work for them. That earliest is 8 which would mean a 4pm finish with 1/2hr lunch. For what I do, it's actually more productive when there's no interruption for a few hours so I can get some work done and then when everyone else rocks up I can do other parts. No. So I've decided to look around for something else. Not sure how its gonna go but gonna give it a try anyways. Sorry for long rant.

I really can't understand why companies would be like that, I work in logistics so alot of warehouses work seven till three so makes sense to have people support ing them work similar hours but some places they are just so wedded to their 9-5 ideas they can't see wood for trees. Is like they think you won't work or something if in early - well if I want to do nothing while appearing to work I can do that just as easily after 9:00!

Good luck with finding something else veus.

[veus]

I haven't had to travel. Kinda flatly refused to at the moment. But if I really had to I don't know how I would be able to do it. At the moment dd only goes to sleep from boob. Wakes up at night still for boobies. I totally understand the mummy guilt. Mine kicks in abt 4ish.

[wysiwyg]

I haven't had to travel. Kinda flatly refused to at the moment. But if I really had to I don't know how I would be able to do it. At the moment dd only goes to sleep from boob. Wakes up at night still for boobies. I totally understand the mummy guilt. Mine kicks in abt 4ish.

DS was the same until I went away (20 months) - I was a bit worried but he was fine, he didn't even ask for boobies but got right back into them when I got home, he stopped waking overnight for feeds after that trip :-) , but my mum was here I knew she could cope with him, but the three nights I was away he slept better than had ever done previously! I on the other hand did not sleep so well typical! !!

[MummyNaomi]

Astrid I hear you - trying to find time to do ANYTHING seems a struggle at the moment, working all week means the weekends are so precious, but they fly by and its back to the grind again.

I've had DD on the childcare waiting list at DSs centre since I was 5 months pregnant (so Feb last year), I need to get her in on Mondays and Wednesday from Sept 23rd. Monday has come up from the beginning of August which means I will need to pay for it 7 weeks prior to us planning to use it, but if I don't take the place we may not be able to get her in, so frustrating. Hoping that the Wednesday will become available by then otherwise I don't know what we'll do

[MummyNaomi]

Also, I meant to say, I'm having so much trouble winding down for the night. Before I went back to work I would easily be in bed and able to fall asleep at 9-10pm, now I find my mind is so active (not necessarily with work, but just buzzing) that I am often up till 11pm or later, which of course I then regret the next morning when the alarm goes off at 545am
I need to find a way to wind down earlier so I can stock up on sleep. In a complete role reversal, DH who is the SAHP at the moment is going to bed by 9pm each night as he is so physically tired (whereas he used to stay up). I do chuckle a little when he tells me how hard his day was etc, as much as I sympathise and understand I'm also glad he understands that being the SAHP isn't all daily soap operas and coffee LOL

[wysiwyg]

Hope it works out with childcare MN fingers crossed for you here. I ended up paying for 4 months of DD 3 days a week and 4 months of DS at 2 days before I found work, I had wanted 3 days for DS but the didnt have availability till 10 days before I got job in Feb - talk about just in time, but as took me so long to find something was glad they didn't have that 3rd day from October or I would have had to pay. I did use the childcare but it is painful using or paying for it when you don't have to just to keep place - if I hadn't needed to pay to keep place I would have just done one day a week in childcare to cover job hunting etc.

[veus]

Hope the childcare stuff gets sorted MN.

[MantaRay]

I find it challenging even with both boys now in primary school. I think the biggest challenge with older kids is juggling time - how to be away for around 50 hours a week (including travel time) and still have enough time with the kids, making sure homework, practice etc is done, and still having "me" time. Honestly my social life has been very neglected and I do feel the lack of friendships after a few years of not having time to keep them up.

[wysiwyg]

MN - I find am having issues too with sleep, not so much dropping off but staying asleep - DS wakes sometimes just before 5, and I find often an waking just before that and can't drop back off even if mum resettles him. I have always had mind in overdrive when working but I suppose you don't notice quite the same as when already tired from children.

MR - yes I am under no illusion that gets easier once they are in school - cheaper perhaps but not easier. At least mine at the moment have no activities etc so are free to do whatever once picked up.

Does anyone know can you share a place at daycare? Say I wanted to work a five day fortnight and I knew someone else who did too and we were prepared to work it out between us - so that one week my child did three days and next week two and the other person child vice versa. Both children already enrolled at center- so wouldn't be a new child on books. I assume they wouldn't as haven't heard of it.

Just trying to think out possible future scenarios, has anyone used nannies not regularly but occasionally? I am not sure work are going to accept that well that once mum has gone that I just can't go in whenever - even if I have notice what do you do with two kids for the day if dont have daycare that day ( no family here )

[Astrid]

Does anyone know can you share a place at daycare? Say I wanted to work a five day fortnight and I knew someone else who did too and we were prepared to work it out between us - so that one week my child did three days and next week two and the other person child vice versa. Both children already enrolled at center- so wouldn't be a new child on books. I assume they wouldn't as haven't heard of it.

I once broached that with the centre I was using in Melbourne and they completely dismissed it. No harm in asking though, your center may be more flexible. I would say though they may have trouble setting up that scenario in the system. A family day carer may be more understanding with that scenario.

I am finding school a whole different kettle of fish to childcare. It is amazing how many days they have off, leave early, even start late!! Then there are many occasions where they parents are excepted to turn up and show support. Which I am still finding so different to when I went to school. Other than the canteen, parents were rarely around even though many mothers did not work. I suppose I just have to get over it somehow.

After Kinder Care is putting up its fees, and so is Vacation care. Vacation is still quite reasonable, but AKC is over the top. Thankfully one of the mums is going to help me out by doing the kinder pickup and looking after DD2 till school pickup. I will pick up her when I pick up DD1. So that is one bill I can drop. I expect Childcare will go up in price as well.

[Floweryfields]

Actually it wouldn't be hard to set up on the system we use as it has fortnightly booking options so you could easily allocate 3 days one week and 2 the next to one child and vice versa.

[trishalishous]

I don't know why DH struggles to get the kids out on time! Plus it means I don't get my bit of peace

[Astrid]

Actually it wouldn't be hard to set up on the system we use as it has fortnightly booking options so you could easily allocate 3 days one week and 2 the next to one child and vice versa.

That is good to know.

[wysiwyg]

Actually it wouldn't be hard to set up on the system we use as it has fortnightly booking options so you could easily allocate 3 days one week and 2 the next to one child and vice versa.

So do you think is something the center might do? Suppose is worth asking if is not a completely ridiculous idea.

[MummyNaomi]

Thank God for Public Holidays. That is All!

[peanutter]

Yes. It means that I can sit in my bed in pyjamas resting my (laryngitis filled) throat, and do my work, instead of doing it in a suit in my office. DH is delightful and is taking the kids out for a bit, so I can finish my work.

I guess that means I probably shouldn't be on BB, eh ... ?

[wysiwyg]

I enjoyed today but means have to work tomorrow which normally wouldn't. Kids would have been in daycare today, but aren't tomorrow so are with mum and dad. I got the day with them so can't complain but doesn't really equate to extra day which takes shine off a bit DD insisted on writing a card for the Queen for her birthday which was cute.

Will have to ask daycare about the five day fortnight - I saw in another thread that you can get CCB and CCR for nannies through certain agencies - I never realised this. Just need to be clear on my options prior to contract renewal discussions. I asked for way too little money for this role before, silly as now hard to raise it much.