Working Mummies Support Group

Congrats MummaT

MG - DH and I have our main meal at lunchtime (something from freezer or leftovers), so we all just snack for tea, kids eat well at daycare so don't want that much on those days anyway. So sandwiches and salad, soup (from freezer), scrambled eggs with spinach, cous cous with frozen peas and carrot, wraps and salad, already cooked corn on cob or sweet potato, they are the sort of things. So there is no real cooking of dinner, DH and I have something with kids and then maybe a further snack later - neither of us like big meals in evening so suits us. Kids and I not back till 5:45 if come home for tea and DH the same, and like to give them time for food to settle before bed so no time for anything major.

We are stinky poms :-) so we often only do baths when I haven't been at work, which makes things less rushed.

Thanks for the ideas hotls

Slack again or just busy here ;)

Thankfully with my work hours and DH's, we are both home for the night time routine most nights. In summer though he would much prefer to be/needs to be out in the garden rather than inside. There are a number of times a year that he works away for 2-4 nights. Those times are not too bad, the kids and I just get in our own zone. Only becomes an issue if I am not well and really can't do it by myself.

Work has been hectic bringing on new clients. Oddly enough it has been good for me, as it helped distract me me other stuff at work that was frustrating me. Have had to rely on an awesome friend to help out with DD1 after school on the days that I needed to work later. Really beginning to notice the lack of after school care, but I am also working out my point of too much work, where it is all too much and too much falls down at home.

Oh man Astrid, I'd be totally stuffed without after school care. We have a pupil free day coming up and I'm stressing about what to do with dd1. I can't take time off work and neither can dh. She can't come to work with me so she will have to go with dh.
And the week after school finishes, there
Is no holiday programs. I have to work the 23 and 24 Dec as does dh. What do we do with dd1? (She is going to work with daddy again). And then there is Jan. I'm struggling to find a holiday program open before 13th Jan. I am lucky we will both be home for Christmas and my office is actually closed until jan 13 otherwise we would be totally stuffed!!!! I always struggle with work when it's holidays.

I did an extra day this week. EXHAUSTED!!!!!!!!! How am I going to cope next year when my hours increase?

We actually have a great vacation care program here, so very thankful for that. I make sure I am one of the first with my booking when it opens ;) It is run by the council and they send out a questionnaire in the lead up to Christmas to see what demand is for the days around Christmas. My office closes though, so it is really just from the 2nd full week in Jan that we need care. They also run the after school care, but due to us using a primary school out of town, we have no way of accessing it. The current school bus network in town picks the kids up from school. The new principal is looking into after school care as a way of boosting future enrollments and maybe keeping some families at the school. Honestly I have had times where I have wanted to hate the school so we could change to one in town.

MG: Do you have to take the extra hours? Or is it all or nothing?

From works perspective I don't have to. But financially, I need to. Especially if we want to buy a house. But at the moment, we are using savings to survive. I was 4 days before I had dd2 but they screwed up the contract they have my cover so I could only come back 2 days to start with.

Once I'm used to it, it will be ok... Just the shock of it I think.

Mummas do you ever get used to the tiredness of working and just needing to keep going when you get home?

Has it been sorted out now?

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Mummas do you ever get used to the tiredness of working and just needing to keep going when you get home?

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I keep going till the kids are in bed, otherwise I'd just sit on the couch and stay there lol

I find I need to have a few early nights each week or I fall in a hole

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Mummas do you ever get used to the tiredness of working and just needing to keep going when you get home?

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You do fall into a rhythm. And you find out what your partner can do, what can wait until the weekend, and what doesn't actually need to be done as often as you think it does :)

Yes agree with peanutter, I am not sure you get over the tiredness but you do work out so the tiredness doesn't seem so all consuming. (mind you I do very little housework stuff so is just about the kids till bedtime and then is chill time normally - our floor has not been mopped in months, nothing bad has happened, it will get done at some point - probably the day before my mum arrives :-))

I hate my job! Is nothing to do with being a mum or the distance have to travel is just me and it are not suited - I am not very good at being dispassionate about it and I need to believe in what I am doing to do a good job, and what they are doing is nonsense and is like stepping back 30 years. I am counting down the days till Christmas, and hoping they don't renew - because if they do I would have to take it for financial reasons. I am half hoping they give me the boot!

I miss being able to read BB etc on the train on the journey - I love my audiobooks but I feel very disconnected as I don't get that travel time, and at work have no reception so I can't even look at anything at lunch time etc.

I am very good at compartmentalizing which has its benefits, but I find that I don't think about home or the kids at all when I am at work, and then am surprised to discover am meant to be going to a hearing appointment, or have paid some bill or other. I need to make sure I use my lunch break or something to get ahead with home stuff, but although I plan to and make lists etc, I am so in work mode that it gets to lunch time etc and I completely forget and the day has gone and I haven't called whoever was meant to etc etc. DH does his fair share, he is less work focused than me so always manages to get things done. You would think when I don't even like my job I would be able to switch off from it for 10 mins to do some little home tasks wouldn't you :-)

Thanks PN and Wysiwyg. Not sure how much is related to my mental health or the new meds and how much is normal working Mumma tiredness. Thank goodness I don't work Wednesdays and can have a nap in the morning.

So my contract has been terminated effective the day I was to go on Mat leave. I'm not concerned I didn't wanna come back anyway. Just means have to get a new job next sept when I want to go back to work :( that will be the hard part.

FL: Chances are you will get used to it over time. I remember first going back to work, I wondered how I would do it, but overall I found it invigorating in its own way. I do tend to suffer from depression, for ME that meant it was not good for me to be home with just the kids and able to procrastinate over getting anything done, it also left my mind free to dwell on the trivial. So for me going back to work, it helped take my mind off some of the smaller matters, it means I can't procrastinate as much about getting house work done. Yes, I do get tired and over it, some weeks I just feel on auto pilot, but overall working is positive for me and therefor the family ;) I have had my panicy moments, dealing with the kinder scenario in the lead up to this year had me stressed out of mind, but it all ended up falling into place thankfully.

I was exhausted for quite a while.

One thing that seemed to make a difference was actually going back on the pill (and I waited until I'd stopped exclusively breastfeeding - my personal choice) because that's when my hormones seemed to get back into check. Weird,right?

But as DS2 didn't start sleeping properly (or at all, much) until about 9 months, I was really living on fumes for a while, with a couple of blocks of 90 minutes of sleep over night, with some feeds, and then sleeping on the train both ways. I really feel for you in the exhausted stakes :comfort:

I'm in a constant state of exhaustion on my work days. And working that extra shift last week took it out of me for two days after. But I'm hoping that routine helps. Dd2 still doesn't sleep through but I don't expect her to for another 18 months if she is anything like her sister.

It took a while to cope with the exhaustion. And even now occasionally I end up going to work on as little as 3 or 4 hrs sleep. Caffeine is my lifeline on those days (my kids are 5 & 4). They always seem to have bad nights when DH is on night shift :(

I am lucky that I only work 2 days.. On the occasions I am asked to work a f/t week, I am so tired. The house becomes a state of disrepair, and I literally feed kids, make sure dishes are in dishwasher, and we have enough clean clothes and kids are clean, and I sleep.. I have an admiration for f/t working mummas. Whether by choice or necessity, it takes a special person to do it!

Working ft sucks and my house is as you put it dmb a constant state of disrepair

How is everyone after the Christmas break (if you got one)?

I am not enjoying being back at work (2nd week back) - the job sucks - at least travel is ok at the moment as traffic is so much reduced. Contract got extended to 28th March - I can see them wanting to extend if further - but it feels like selling my soul to the devil. I am doing CertIV in Training and Assessment next week classroom based, and after that I think will try and investigate further a new job - maybe will have to go to 4 days a week to get out of this one - but if I can get local then if look at it from an hours perspective will be about the same.

Week before Christmas I worked 40 hours in 4 days - I get paid hourly so that is not so bad, but we went on holiday on the 5th day - so was completely manic that week. Luckily I am pretty tolerant of disrepair in the house, as is DH. I think what I struggle with most is organizing anything that isn't normal daily stuff, doctors appointments (DS needs to see GP to get an ENT referral), dentist, booking car in for service - or trying to look for a new job.

DS sleep has got better - so I do feel significantly less exhausted in general - but I do notice I always seem to feel mega tired when I am in the tunnel driving home (I wonder if there is less air in there or something).

I don't want too! I don't want to go back to work. I haven't heard from them since I last worked 2 days before christmas. I assume because its holidays & I have noone to look after the kids. Usually I work around it. I might take 2 & leave 2 at home. Swap through the day with the younger ones if its not working.

I enjoy the extra money & being able to do more for the kids, but I'm hoping they're quiet enough that I can wait for school to go back before I go back. I'm enjoying school holidays I think. ..never have I said that before!

To all those already well & truly past their holidays, sorry! I've got it pretty easy (but also not so easy at the same time).

I'd be great if my bosses paid me :(
Last time I got paid from my bosses was the 18th of December :\

Would be nice to have some money saved up to put towards a car/my place

Been back since the 6th. First week not too bad, as DH was home with the girls, so it was just me to get ready ;)
This week he is back, so both girls are off to vacation care. DD2's first time, so was concerned for her, but she has taken it in her stride whilst DD1, who has been going a few years now, still clings to me. They are doing some awesome stuff this week, like water fights (so needed in this weather) and trip to a miniature railway. Pity I did not send them last week, as they went to the Halls Gap Zoo.
Will have a week off end of January, there is a mismatch between Vacation care and school starting, so no care, no work for me!

I do hate the drop off though, as it is near work, rather than at the half way point like school, so I don't get my 10-15 to myself in the car. Selfish I know, but I appreciate that quiet before work.

Feeling a bit meh about work, had a bit of kick in the guts prior to the holidays with a poorly handled situation. Plus we were so flat out, I was getting rather stressed. The catch up now is going to be huge.

hi everyone...

made an appearance in this thread ages ago, but got to busy to post regularly.

i started back at work yesterday after a 3 week break and its horrible :cry::cry::cry:

my mummy guilt is worse than it ever was when DD first started child care.
i think the worst bit is, she can tell me now how she feels, yesterday she said "mummy i want us to stay home and have fun again, i dont want to go to creche" :crying: talk about tugging the heart strings!

we are just trying to get back into routine now, being at work by 8 is a huge change compared to getting up at 830 everyday!

if anyone has any tips id love them!

We are the same here crumpet. 3 weeks home = chaos adjusting back to Creche :( I have no tips but hugs.

I've just started increased hours. 4 days. Trying to convince myself I like it. Not winning.

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hi everyone...

made an appearance in this thread ages ago, but got to busy to post regularly.

i started back at work yesterday after a 3 week break and its horrible :cry::cry::cry:

my mummy guilt is worse than it ever was when DD first started child care.
i think the worst bit is, she can tell me now how she feels, yesterday she said "mummy i want us to stay home and have fun again, i dont want to go to creche" :crying: talk about tugging the heart strings!

we are just trying to get back into routine now, being at work by 8 is a huge change compared to getting up at 830 everyday!

if anyone has any tips id love them!

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I have the opposite issue - my two ask to go to childcare on days they are home! I am no match for their friends apparently.

Also DS maintained is 5:45 - 6:00 AM wake up right over the holidays so didn't need to adjust getting up time. I keep telling myself the early wake-up is a good thing - because I do hate it on the rare occasions I have to wake them up to get them ready by 7:00.

Astrid - I know what you mean about the quiet before work - although I am listening to Hobbit and LOTR audiobooks on way so isn't quite quiet - but am now treating myself to a coffee this side of town, to drink in peace on the way (I never thought I would like drinking a coffee in the car, but all the cafes near work were closed till the 13th so I had to get one this side of town, and although more expensive and means I drink in the car - I can't now go back to buying one the other side - the coffee this side is just so much better (near work is all cafe's on industrial estates almost like truck stops and their prime calling isn't coffee) - so that is my treat - if I have to suffer this job I shall at least have a nice coffee and listen to audiobooks. I could not stop for coffee and have 10 mins more with the kids but I need the treat for myself.

I'm still here too, had 2 weeks off and went back last week on the 6th.
DD and DS settled back into childcare without fuss (which was nice as when DS used to go back after the xmas closure it used to take him a good few weeks to a month to settle back in), however DS starts school on Jan 28th so I've have to up the organised routine as will have to do the school run (in one direction), childcare (opposite direction) and then work (which is fortunately on the same street as childcare, I can see the building from our windows). We are using a few days of before school care, DH finishes at 3 so will do the school pick up on the days I'm in the office, and my Mum has the kids on Fridays so will take and pick up DS. I think we have it all worked out - just need to make sure everything is ready the night before as we will need to leave early.
My boss has asked me and another part time manager to change our days around, while I really dont want to, I will as I dont wont to put my work from home day at risk by being inflexible so will in Feb will change from working home Tuesdays and Thurs RDO to working from home Mondays. Sucks a bit as Monday in the office is always my most productive day, I am not as productive at home. Will just need to re-jig my work routine a bit I think.
But all good here, I didn't particularly want to go back to work after the holidays but you know, the bills etc they keep a-coming :)

Joining you ladies. Back to work full time after 17 months mat leave. Girls getting woken up at 5.30am to get dropped off at grandmas.

The little one still getting breastfed so mega sooky which aint good for grandma.

When i get home she latches onto me and doesnt want to let goooo!!

So tiring yawn!

I suppose I should join in here. I started my own online baby shop in July and it's gone nuts! Obviously i'm stoked that it's bringing in money but I need to sort out some kind of work/life balance because i'm feeling exhausted. We are looking into opening a shop in the next 6 months rather than just online. With a 1 year old in tow that should be interesting x

I'm still here just growing away. Only 22 more work days then it's leave for me.

Sticking my head back in here.. I am really struggling with extra hrs of late.. We have had lots of people off and thankfully my turn next week.. I am so looking forward to going back to my 2 days a week after a family holiday next week.. Warning, long whinge coming, but am sure it is better here, than actually walking out, even though I do voice my frustrations at work, and am supported..

I have been dealing with people who are acting like kids, and it frustrates me to no end using the same questions I use with my 4 & 6 year olds with grown adults.. The most general being 'despite what x doing, do you think it is the right thing to do?'..

And to have someone insult me enough, that even despite chasing numerous times in working hrs to turn around with 'sorry I was out with my kids' um, yeah , like I really want to log on during my kids time to do something for you, but only consider doing it cause it would create more hassle than the 15 mins it takes me to do it... Grrr..

I just found this thread and thought I'd join.
I went back to work full time when DS was 6 months old 6 months ago. DH looks after DS during the day and brings him in to me at lunchtime so that I can breastfeed, which is going well.

Whinge/Vent/Advice bit: I haven't read the whole thread yet (I'm at work atm so can't), but can some of you share your experiences coming back to a long term job after maternity leave. I have been having a super-sucky time and I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this too, e.g. I feel like I am not being looked down on and looked over for work that needs doing whereas before I had a lot of responsibility. I feel like I have been demoted... Blah. It sucks, but someone's got to bring in some money and I am way more suitable to do this than DH.

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Whinge/Vent/Advice bit: I haven't read the whole thread yet (I'm at work atm so can't), but can some of you share your experiences coming back to a long term job after maternity leave. I have been having a super-sucky time and I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this too, e.g. I feel like I am not being looked down on and looked over for work that needs doing whereas before I had a lot of responsibility. I feel like I have been demoted... Blah. It sucks, but someone's got to bring in some money and I am way more suitable to do this than DH.

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Sorry can't offer any advice from being in a similar situation as haven't gone back to a long term job - just contracts. Maybe you need to mention the way you are feeling to someone, maybe they think this is what you want (e.g. less responsibility, as that might suit some people) rather than being looked down on - perhaps if express it explicitly that you want the same as before, hopefully is just a communication issue.

Last week was only week have been happy to drive to work - car lovely and cool! A week in the city on a course this week so I can take public transport all week, which will make me very happy. (The kids are in daycare all week instead of 3 days and are so excited by that idea, they just love it there - thankfully. Happy the course was in Jan, as outside of Dec, Jan would have struggled to get 2 extra days x 2) Trying to get the kids to daycare and myself ready for work last week without being a sweaty mess was a bit of a challenge though, especially as there wasn't much sleep had in the heat - hope that the heat is over now.

BD - time seems to have flown!

Starfish, I agree with Wysiwyg, they may simply be assuming you want less responsibility now. I know when I returned to work in October last year, I certainly didn't want to work at the same level that I had before maternity leave. My priorities had simply changed.

You could chat with someone about it or come at it from a lighthearted angle...

Jokingly say " come on folks my brain needs a good work out after all the goo goo ga ga talk I've been up to at home! Bring it on!"

The main problem I think is that there is no one that I can talk to. My manager was always super useless, but at least he let me get on with things. When I came back from leave, there had been a restructure. Now my manager refuses that talk to me directly and I have to go through someone else. The problem is that he doesn't talk to her either, so anything that I tell her goes into a black hole. And the fact that I don't get on with this woman at all doesn't help...
Today is the first day that DH is not bringing DS in to me for a feed. Feeling blah...

Huh? Your manager won't speak directly to you? How bizarre. If you're not getting any joy with this woman I'd go further up the chain, regardless of whether he "feels the need" to speak to you or not, you obviously need to!

:hug: re not seeing your bub today, that sucks :(

How goes?

I've been asked to consider going to a conference interstate in a few months. I'll be gone for almost the whole week. Feeling very conflicted about it. Great opportunity - but how do I handle being away from the girls
So long? I've never been away from dd2. Ever.

How are you peanutter?

Joining back in here. Just heading back to work. Tomorrow is the first day back and doing the childcare drop off with two kiddies. I'm a bit nervous!

Good luck Chody!!!!!