wysiwyg - not considering part-time is sucky, hope something comes up
Mother Goose - :hug: Is it just working in general that is causing the struggle or the job itself?
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wysiwyg - not considering part-time is sucky, hope something comes up
Mother Goose - :hug: Is it just working in general that is causing the struggle or the job itself?
wsyiwyg - makes me so angry on your behalf. My boss has said often that he feels his working mothers are his hardest workers (part time and all) as we can balance and multitask better than most (and appreciate our flexible work arrangements so pay him back in loyalty and dedication). Sucks that other employers cant see these potential benefits too. I hope something perfect comes up soon, must be a bit stressful and annoying :(
MG - I've been there, although I'm not quite sure what aspect is troubling you, at times I've felt a failure at home and at work when I've been tired/run down and trying desperately to keep on top of everything and not succeeding. Like Astrid, I wonder what it is specifically? Or is it just everything in general?
I go back to part time week commencing the 23rd. DH has finished his parental leave. I know he's sad to leave the kids but I am so happy to be going back to part time - I am exhausted and I miss my kids. I'll be in the office Mon/Wed/Fri, working from home Tues and RDO on Thurs - I cant wait! Two extra full days with my kiddies! Yay! The last few weeks have been a struggle but I have been working hard to get a really good work routine happening so I keep on top of everything as part time as my work load wont really change.
It's everything. Going to work. I hate leaving my girls.
My job. They didn't follow my instructions and now I have to try and salvage my program. And explain why the stats didnt improve. I have to rewrite the training component. I feel stressed about every aspect of my job. I used to love teaching but not any more. My replacement is pushing to stay on but the increase in hours are for me and I financially need them. I don't like how short I become with my big girl. I resent dh works long hours and I'm left running the house on my own plus work. I don't like that returning to work has made me become sad and slightly depressed. I keep hoping that its just me settling back in. I don't remember feeling this way after returning to work after dd1
MG it's much harder with two. The limited time you have you are now trying to spread between 2 children and it feels like there is not enough hrs in the day. It's hard to keep everyone happy.
Is it possible to outsource some stuff to help give you a break? Even temporarily? Eg get a cleaner, offload some ironing?
It probably feels like you are going non stop with every aspect of your life and it feels unappreciated I'm guessing. Been there. It does take a little while for everything to fall into place
I can't afford to get a cleaner at the moment but will be next year. My outlaws are here at the end of the week for a few days and will hopefully help a bit. Then I'm going to my dads next week in Adelaide and hoping he will help me out as well. I just need a break.
DH and I are considering using our Christmas prezzie money to hire some of the beautiful people from the melbourne asylum seeker resource centre's cleaning team to do every nook and cranny of the house ...
Can't afford to do it generally, but maybe, maybe for Christmas!
I was talking with some other mums who have returned to work yesterday and we all reckoned you need to give yourself 6 weeks to get into the groove, and 6 weeks to work out how you really feel - as most of us had struggled the first few weeks but had come out the other side so to speak after about 6 weeks. Hope it is slowly getting better.:
MN- What is really annoying is they are still advertising for the job they won't consider part-time for, is only a three month contract so is not like they need to make sure get the right job fit long term. I could have been working their for 4 days by now.
It is stressful, we are ok for money for a month or so due to tax return but it isn't sustainable is the problem, plus can't plan anything. Fingers crossed next week will find out if they want me back at old place. Otherwise I am giving myself till end of October and if nothing by then will have to go down to one day a week at childcare and decide not to work for the rest of this tax year. Last year I was looking October till end of Jan before found anything, so I know that is a bad period, and I can't just keep paying for daycare with no income - is just too expensive (even with the CCB/CCR). If I write off working for this tax year - we will be ok, but isn't really what I want and brings up new complications like what to do about kinder for DD - plan was for in daycare kinder but 1 day a week isn't sufficient really is it? If I manage to get her in somewhere else then I will be ok with the hours for first two terms but really would want to try get them back in at childcare for the next financial year and get some work (by that time I might be able to suck up a more full-time like role as will only be for half a year with two in childcare as DD will start 2015). Not really that keen on the idea of pulling them in and out of childcare/kinder, but if I have too then I will just enjoy the extra time will get with them.
I have to say that if the government do bring in the ability to have in home care applicable to CCB/CCR for everyone, then it would certainly make it easier for those who are in and out of work - if I could only have daycare for the times when I have contracts it would make a massive difference, and would probably save the government money because then people would be able to work and earn tax when there are jobs available to them not be dictated by keeping or losing their childcare places. Nannies or in home carers whatever they want to call them are bound to offer more flexibility than childcare centers.
I was talking with some other mums who have returned to work yesterday and we all reckoned you need to give yourself 6 weeks to get into the groove, and 6 weeks to work out how you really feel - as most of us had struggled the first few weeks but had come out the other side so to speak after about 6 weeks. Hope it is slowly getting better.:
MN- What is really annoying is they are still advertising for the job they won't consider part-time for, is only a three month contract so is not like they need to make sure get the right job fit long term. I could have been working their for 4 days by now.
It is stressful, we are ok for money for a month or so due to tax return but it isn't sustainable is the problem, plus can't plan anything. Fingers crossed next week will find out if they want me back at old place. Otherwise I am giving myself till end of October and if nothing by then will have to go down to one day a week at childcare and decide not to work for the rest of this tax year. Last year I was looking October till end of Jan before found anything, so I know that is a bad period, and I can't just keep paying for daycare with no income - is just too expensive (even with the CCB/CCR). If I write off working for this tax year - we will be ok, but isn't really what I want and brings up new complications like what to do about kinder for DD - plan was for in daycare kinder but 1 day a week isn't sufficient really is it? If I manage to get her in somewhere else then I will be ok with the hours for first two terms but really would want to try get them back in at childcare for the next financial year and get some work (by that time I might be able to suck up a more full-time like role as will only be for half a year with two in childcare as DD will start 2015). Not really that keen on the idea of pulling them in and out of childcare/kinder, but if I have too then I will just enjoy the extra time will get with them.
I have to say that if the government do bring in the ability to have in home care applicable to CCB/CCR for everyone, then it would certainly make it easier for those who are in and out of work - if I could only have daycare for the times when I have contracts it would make a massive difference, and would probably save the government money because then people would be able to work and earn tax when there are jobs available to them not be dictated by keeping or losing their childcare places. Nannies or in home carers whatever they want to call them are bound to offer more flexibility than childcare centers.
Wysiwyg - so annoying! I can honestly say that I get 5 days if work done in my 4 days. Employers need to be flexible, I know from my experience in the workplace who I'd be hiring. I hate the misconception that parents take lots of carers leave etc when kids are sick. We have more issues with unplanned leave with the younger single people using sick leave as an entitlement to have random days off rather than for genuine sick leave. I honestly thing our most reliable workers are parents. Work is impprtant to them for the financial security for their family. Anyway my point is that these potential employers are really missing out ( and therefore so r u)
Apparently they will now consider part-time and have been offered the job - only downside is a bit of a commute and would have to do in the car (otherside of West Gate bridge from me for those who know Melbourne) - oh well money is good and a job is a job so I expect I will accept it tomorrow to start next Wednesday.
Yay congrats on the job!! I have a bit of a commute too but I listen to podcasts the whole way and it goes much faster.
AFM - Well 3 month review went well so looks like I am staying here til I have another baby or get a job with a Gov agency I am trying to get into. Really struggling with Mummy guilt at the moment with working full time as DS is so unsettled at night and I am completely strung out from lack of sleep. I feel like if I wasn't working then I would be more patient at ridiculous O'clock every night :(
Excellent news Wysiwyg Congrats!!
Yay for you both!!!
I hear you on the lack of sleep and guilt issues though, MT :hug:
Any teachers who went back to teaching full-time after having a baby? DD will be 5.5months old when I go back in term 4 and I also have an almost 5 year old. I felt like I handled teaching and having one child fine, we had a good routine. But, I'm worried now about having 2, especially a baby :(
I'm exhausted. I wasn't coming in here much, because I only work casual. It was usually 2 - 3 hours, maybe 2 - 3 days a week. Then we got busy... And now I'm struggling to cope at home.
Yesterday was my first day home in about 4 weeks. Went camping last weekend when could've stayed home I guess, but kids needed to get away & so did I.
Every other day I've worked or had sports stuff on. And they've all been big days. On Monday I didn't get home til 4pm. So kids were home for half hour alone. No problems there, but I like to at least be home for them :( School holidays are next week & I don't usually work through them, but this time I've asked too, coz I need the money. So kids will either come with me, or visit friends, or stay home. I am only around the corner, in a very small town.
My problem is my house! I spend all day cleaning at work then come home & I'm too exhausted to clean my own house. Even washing up is a struggle some days! I have a pile of washing on my lounge that is literally taking over! (caught up on the washing today though, go me). Both the little kids rooms are that trashed you can't walk into them (tomorrows job), my room is a mess... I got bathroom, toilet & laundry all done today & yesterday. And cleaned out my fridge & pantry...
But for those doing it on your own, with no partner to help out/back you up, how do you keep up? I admit, it is part laziness. Or tiredness, lol, I can't tell. DD3 still wakes through the night, every night! Bigger DD's do help, but I don't make them do it enough, or regularly. I guess I should get more of a routine happening for them. At least to wash up after dinner every night...
Usually when I work I have myself together & I'm on top of everything. But the hours I was doing a few weeks ago & not having weekends off, means I've gotten way behind & I don't know how to catch up. I'll get there I guess..
wysiwyg: Congratulations! :D Pity about the drive, but sometimes a compromise needs to be made. Have done so for my job, great hours, great job, but on the other side of town. Only plus side is that it puts me near vacation care, so easy for booking (has to be done in person) and for drop off/pick up. Really hope it works out well for you!
Mumma T: Woo Hoo on your 3 month review going well. Sucks about the mummy guilt and lack of sleep :hug:
CK1815: Not a teacher, so can't advise. Hope you get that routine worked out.
Clover: Yeah, it can be tough to keep on top of things when work hours increase. I find the weeks DH is away I do get girls to help out a lot more. Even just sorting the little stuff like undies and socks can be a help.
AFM -been a bit quiet in this thread. Just plodding along really. It has been busy at work and staying busy. Looks like I get to go away with work in a couple of weeks. It is so easy for DH, he just goes and I pick up the pieces. For me to go, I have to organise others to help out with school pick ups, which is frustrating. Kids have been sick a lot and now seem to have hayfever, which is putting a lot of pressure on me with lack of sleep at night and trying to work out if they are well enough for school/childcare/kinder.
On a positive note, I am about to pay my third last childcare bill!! Well, I will have vacation care and school expenses next year, but they are no where near as exxy as childcare!
Hello fellow mummies.
It's only 8 days until I return to work and join you guys in here. It's going to be a huge change and will involve lots of travel to and from work and a puzzle of childcare arrangements.
I'm quite emotional about returning to work and I'm needing to do more days and hours than I would like.
If money wasn't part of the equation, I'd stay off work but I need to return to accumulate the entitlement for another round of maternity leave.
I've started lists of what needs packing each day etc and DP will be cooking most nights cause my day will be over 10 hours long.
Sigh.
welcome :)
how did your care arrangements work out?
are you working in town?
which side do you travel from? car or PT?
In still here too. Work is really slow so I can not wait for mat leave. Bring on 15 feb. I might actually get some time off this time. My DS was born on my last day of work lol my work didn't make me perm they put me on another 12 month contract which was done before they knew I was preg. I have told them I want to go back after 6 months off (although I really don't now) for just 3 days a week for 6 months then go back full time after that. I just have to go into it thinking that when I go on feb that I won't be back unless of course there is something in writing saying different. The joys of working for an international insurance broker :(
Hope you are all coping well.
Much love
PN its been such a roller coaster. We met 10 family day care educators and liked a few but lots were way different than what I thought I'd find.
I found a lovely gentle serene FDC educator only 10 mins from home but she only had a Friday available so we've taken that spot, hoping for more days next year.
I asked my cousin who lives in the same region as my work and she is thrilled to have DD for 2 days a week- she's worked with children and is a sahm who is a kinder teacher too. My parents will have DD one day a week.
It's far from what I want for DD, having multiple carers over a week but 2 are family so I just keep saying to myself ' it takes a village to raise a child' and putting my many fears aside.
I'm going to request a different kinder for next year. Where I am for term 4 is just too far especially with dropping off DD.
I looking forward to learning lots from you guys.
I'm glad that you have a solution, even if it's a short term solution.
I don't see the multiple carers as a negative necessarily - she is sufficiently young that there won't really be any expectations on her, so there's a limited scope for mixed messages etc, especially if your chosen carers take a similar gentle approach to you.
The differences in activities, food, environments etc could be a great thing! And if it's the same routine each week, that's just a different type of consistency.
Eg: my ideal week for the DSs is mainly music on Mondays, Playgroup on Tuesdays, park and picnic on Wednesdays, pool on Thursdays, and library on Fridays. Heaps of variety, but predictable, and activity and burning energy etc everyday. (That routine never happens, but it's a nice goal ;))
Starting work tomorrow.
DD starts with my cousin tomorrow.
Feeling pretty crappy.
Words of wisdom welcome please.
You'll both do great, lovely FL.
And if it doesn't work out the way you want and need it to, you will figure something else out.
In the interim, you will both benefit from having some new (or revisited) experiences, other people, etc :)
:hug:
Good luck FL, I am sure it will go much smoother than you anticipate :)
Good luck FL - I hope your first day goes well.
Well my first two days at new job last week went well - I am not sure it is going to be as fun and friendly as my last workplace, and is typical project environment (room with no windows :-)) - drive last week was easy but it was school holidays so this week will be the real test. I think that the driving is going to be the most annoying thing about the job. I am also used to hardly ever paying for petrol as I drove so little most was bought using Caltex Gift Cards got through my Mastercard, but I am actually going to have to think about putting petrol in it now.
I am transferring the course I was doing (Cert IV training and assessment) to be a week course instead of part-time online as there is no way I have the motivation to get it done now, so will just do it in Jan when either this contract is over or I can take the week off.
I am working 7.50-4 is the plan - so I should be able to pick up kids just after five, and the plan is to drop the car off home and walk to pick them up, as they hate going in the car and I love the walking, so planning also to have picnic tea and we will just go to park/library/whatever till need to go home to bed. That way it will actually seem like I have some nice fun time with the kids on those days - we have been to park after tea a few times over the weekend and the kids love it and I figured what is really the point in rushing home, we all eat main meal at lunch time anyway.
Really I should be thankful to DS that his persistent waking at 5:50 has got me used to waking at that hour so getting up early now seems no problem :-)
I keep telling myself it will get easier as the kids get older. ;)
FL - good luck with your first day :)
wysiwyg - I like the idea of picnic dinners, makes me wish we were in a position to do that. Hopefully school traffic does not add too much to your drive. Down here is make a huge difference to the drive, which really did surprise me.
PN - not sure it gets easier, it just seems to change. Two at primary school next year has me so excited!
I have been told makes a massive difference, also been told that nearly every day there is an accident on the West Gate making the journey horrendous, but quite a few people do the similar trip so I think some of those statements about accidents etc are exaggerations! Because we don't have a garden just a small balcony staying out for a picnic dinner is really nice - I guess if we had a garden it might be different, the kids do love wandering though, and they have a long list of things in the neighbourhood they like to check out (a cat called Tuppenance, Cranes, Foundations, a postbox with a hand on it to shake, etc. etc.):
We choose to live out of town, so that means driving every where for us. When we were in Melbourne, we were walking distance to the childcare centre/Kinder. It was nice then, I would grab the trike & helmet and wheel that across for the pick ups on days I had that extra time.
We are contemplating a move. Part of me would really like to move to the town where the primary school is, as I think it would be great to have the girls walking to and from school. Whilst I would still work the same hours, at least if there was an issue, they could walk home with some of the other kids and be at their house till I got there. It is a small community, so there is a lot of helping out before and after school among the parents
Today went very well. Much better than I expected. We both had really good days but are pretty knackered now. DD was very happy with my cousin and her family. She even slept for 2 hours! She's had a big cry in my arms tonight though.
I had a pretty relaxed day. I didn't even need to mediate any conflicts.
Early to bed for everyone tonight.
Yay So happy for you it went well.:
Astrid a move to town sounds like it could be good for you,
I am off work today after doing something to my ankle. on crutches for the forseeable future :(
That's wonderful, Frangi :hug:
Ouch, T!!
We do the dinner picnics sometimes. Less cleaning up, more fresh air, it's all good.
Late at work tonight. Really tired, and need to kick this headcold. On the train now, at least.
Yes great your first day was ok FL
There was an accident on West Gate tonight so drive home took 55 mins - not horrific but dull - but got to have picnic tea on way home from CC and trip to library with kids before bedtime.
I got a new job today Woohoo! More money less hours I am very excited!
Yay congrats MummaT:
Fantastic MT!!!! Congratulations!
I think I've finally settled into work. Only taken 2 months. I am getting some positive feedback at the moment from people who are very happy to have me back. That's always nice to hear.
Picnic dinner - going to have to try that.
What do you girls all do for dinners? I'm the one who does night routine as dh doesn't get home until after 7 (usually 9). I find it really hard to deal with DD2 who is usually tired and just wants cuddles, getting dd1 to do her homework, cook dinner, and empty their bags... And of course I then have to do bath and bed.... It's exhausting!!!!!!!
Yay MT
MG - on my working days I usually prepare the meal the night before, as we all get home around 5 so there is not a lot of time to sort out dinner (and we eat 5-530 as the kids are hungry so it needs to be quick). Sometimes its just fish fingers and veg. I usually make up a big batch of home made chicken nuggets every few months and they are another of our 'quick' meals, chuck them in the oven for 20 mins while steaming some vegies and the kids are happy.
We often have sausage sizzles when its warm and sit outside - we all love it. DH cooks the BBQ and dinners good to go in 20 mins. I just plan ahead the night before so what we need is defrosted and good to go.
Also, as I know the kids have eaten well at childcare, a sandwich and some fruit is often all thats needed when we are flat chat
Yay MT. Congratulations.
Poached egg on toast with some steam fresh vegis is super fast and healthy. Smoked salmon or smoked chicken I find is a great fast protein source. Frozen leftovers eg spaghetti Bol with the pasta already in it, cooked rice freezes well. Raw veg like fresh peas and snow peas are a hit too.
Feeling tired.
on my not-working days, I cook extra and then freeze it in portion sizes, so my working days is always leftovers, put in the fridge the night before so it doesn't take too long to zap in the micorowave. Things like lasagne, pasta & pasta bakes, beef stroganoff, curries, etc, all freeze really well.
As mentioned previously, the girls eat really well at day care, so I am not too worried if they don't eat too much at dinner in the evening.
We have a long drive home, so our routine is very much in the front door, dinner in the microwave, eat, bath, story, bed. then breathe.....
I'm lucky that my DH is home earlier than me so picks up DS and generally has dinner started when I get home. On days like last night where no one wants to cook DS has something like toast cause he eats big meals at daycare and generally doesn't eat much at dinner anyway