Working Mummies Support Group #3

[Mumma T]

Congratulations on the new job LL.

Doing well here, i am 25% of the way through my diploma now so just working my backside off to get through it as quickly as possible. The kids seem to have settled down a bit more with me being away from them so much so feeling much better about that now.

I still don't have a desk at work after a month which is really irritating me more than it should but i have heard the delay is because we have to move buildings so i just have to be patient, have i mentioned i am not ver patient? Is that the right spelling? 6 wake ups last night and a full day of staring at the screen makes one tired mummy.

[Beautiful Disaster]

Oh I feel you hun.

[Mumma T]

It got worse... the following night he woke every 30-40 minutes, frickin teeth!
But he slept through last night bless him, so feeling semi human today.

I redid our budget last week and was getting very concerned we didn't have enough money, well stupid me hadn't budgeted in almost 600 month! woohoo we have a little left over each month for the first time in years.

[wysiwyg]

How is the job going LL and everyone else who has started new jobs.

Hope children are complying by sleeping Mumma T and BD

I have applied for a new job, a permanent and 5 mins walk from home - I would give my right arm to get it - it probably wouldn't be quite so good money wise but for permanent in such a good location I couldn't care less. Not feeling that confident although I am a perfect candidate, normally I get a call as soon as they get my CV and haven't this time but maybe is because is direct with a company not a recruitment agent so maybe will take more time.

Current job is ok, just ok, I really hate the commute and am not sure there is much future there, so we shall see.

[wysiwyg]

What do people normally do school holidays? DD is in School Holiday program this time, because as we are paying for DS daycare anyway and DH job finishes in less than a month then I can't afford the time off this time - but am wondering if really DD could have done with more of a break - her behavior only two days into the school holidays has been pretty atrocious, and I don't know some of it seems very attention seeking - so I wonder whether just getting some more time with us (DH has been away and working alot) might help, and maybe next school holidays depending on finances I should think more about having some time off. She seems to be coping with school and the long hours four days a week ok but maybe she isn't as well as I thought.

[Astrid]

I try to take some time of during the school holidays. I don't work Fridays, so that is one I day they don't need to go to vacation care. Sometimes DH will take a day or two (he gets RDO's) and I will try to organise at least one day at a friends house. Vacation care is careful to balance what they do and it is ok for the girls to go off to a quiet corner to read rather then be involved if they feel the need.

It is hard, as sometimes they really just need a slow, lazy week at home. Camping trips do help (close to home ones), as it gets them away from technology and outdoors more, so they get physically tired, rather than mentally.

[Astrid]

Had complete meltdown from DD2 this morning. Just absolutely sobbing that she wants to spend time with me these holidays. Does not seem to understand that neither DH or I are working next week, so we will have the whole week together as a family. It can be so hard. Does not help that we have been busy and stressed later, so hoping camping helps her over the weekend and then I am taking her to the movies next week.

[wysiwyg]

Hope the camping holiday helped your DD Astrid (we enjoyed our trip although was busier than I expected and the weather on the Mon/Tue not much cop). DD after the first two days of holiday madness seemed to settle which was good.

DH has finished up at work and is now job hunting - so my life is easier for a bit as he can do all the school drop off and pick ups unless has interviews. DD has a curriculum day tomorrow so is great he is home and they can have some fun together. He has only had a week off so far and I reckon we have maybe 6-7 more weeks before money situation gets stressful - so will enjoy it while I can.

I never heard about the local job I applied for which is a bit depressing. Half way through my contract now, I can't see it being long term - I really just can't bear the commute and although in a lot of ways the job is 'easy' - it just doesn't motivate me enough. If I haven't got anything else and they want to extend I will though while I look for something else.

[chelsey12e]

Hello ladies. Excuse me if I'm in the wrong place as I've never been in this forum before but could anyone please direct me to a thread if there is one for mommies with in law grandparenting issues? Or anything related to that. I'm really sorry if this is overly off topic. I've been on other forums where I was not received very kindly for asking this question and being "off topic". Please don't hate me hahs

[krysalyss]

Hi Chelsey - Welcome to BB.
Probably post in here on what you are describing: Families & Relationships




Hi to everyone else! Its been a while since I dropped in. Not much news from. No job yet and the end of my project is getting closer and closer. Sigh. Hope you guys are all well.

[wysiwyg]

School are having a mothers day morning tea on Monday at 10:00AM - all I can say is the Fathers day one better be at 10:00AM too! Is extra tricky at the moment because I am sole earner and as I contract if I don't work I don't get paid - a 10:00AM event means half a day off. Will have to see if can maybe make it up on my day off (as DH is home, so can watch DS) as I haven't managed to make any of the what seems like loads of daytime events at the school (I did the parent participation course but they want you to commit to going weekly or at the least fortnightly and I just can't take that time off and there are no suitable sessions on my one non work day (although I am not sure I would want to have to spend my one day with DS going into school every week anyway)).

Trying to work out an exit strategy from current contract - DH has got a few things looking like might come off so that will be a relief.

Is so quiet in here (and BB in general) - I hope is because everyone is having such a wonderful time at work.

[Foss]

Wysiwyg - although my children aren't yet school age, it never ceases to amaze me the pressure put on working mums by schools to attend events. The amazing mums I work with struggle enough with balancing work and family without being made to feel bad about not attending weekly events. The same pressures don't seem to be placed on the fathers. Surely things will have to change soon with 65 percent of mothers in full or part time employment.

[wysiwyg]

Surely things will have to change soon with 65 percent of mothers in full or part time employment.

You would have thought should be at that point already - our school hasn't announced what they will do for fathers day but I know they have done breakfasts previously (and a quick google, shows a prevalence of the term "mothers day morning tea" and "fathers day breakfast" at many schools).

I am not sure if DD's school is particularly bad, or everywhere is like that. They have a terrible habit of putting reminders about things up as you go into the classroom - conveniently forgetting that quite a few parents don't take their child to school at 9:00am regularly, but use the wonderful OHSC, so these types of reminders are useless. Or they want stuff to be delivered to the office (not to the classroom) never mind that you are not at the school when the office (and often access to the office) is open (with older kids is ok as they can take to the office but with foundation they aren't allowed to wander to the office). Last term they organised an assembly for the hour after all the foundation students finished, and invited parents, but didn't specify what would happen if your child was going to OHSC - then the day before decided they would just change the time foundation finished to after the assembly but it was too late for us to cancel OHSC for that hour. They never give sufficient notice on things - I think a week is minimum should give for if they want you to come to something in the day. Is like they are completely blind to the fact on working parents and mums in particular exist.

[Foss]

That sounds pretty standard from what I hear at work. I don't know how the single mums that work full time manage when being messed around like that.

[~TT40~]

That is ridiculous, what do they mean commit once a week? Like doing reading group or canteen etc? Surely they don't say mum must do it, can't dad? Or maybe a grandparent? If they said mum I would chuck a huge stink. But mine aren't at school yet, so don't actually have that problem...
I'm stalking back in here cause I got a start date with work to go back. 15 June. quark will only be 6 months =( but we just can't survive on only DHs wage. We are scraping so tight as it is with my half pay maternity leave. I'll only be going back .3 to start cause I worked out the base and penalties for that will cover the bills, petrol and care for Spock. And I requested set shifts for the first few months while we settle back into it. They said they are sure they can do it, and will let me know when the roster is out, so haven't said yes as such...but hopefully they do it. Mum and dad said they will watch Quark for me. I'm hating that I have to go back so early

[wysiwyg]

Yes the parent participation is for helping in the classroom so reading sessions etc.* It can be anyone but you have to have done their parent participation “course”* which was two evening sessions x 2hrs – which they run once a year.** DH was away in Brisbane so couldn’t do it – so I did it, before that there was no mention of you having to make a regular commitment but during *the evening sessions they sprung it on us, that they didn’t want people who couldn’t commit to going in regularly.*** So they haven’t specified mums for it but for anyone who works full-time (or even just those who have younger siblings they are looking after) a weekly/fortnightly commitment is pretty full on (we have no grandparents here, but if we did and had known about the regular commitment thing I would have got my mum to do the course).

*

If the purpose of having parent helpers is because children seeing their parents being involved in their learning encourages children in their learning (lots of studies support this idea, and is one of the things the school says too) then mandating such a regular commitment is hardly fair on children whose parents have to work (this is the bit the school forgets I think – is that for many parents they have to work to make money to live,* it isn’t some little hobby that they can duck in and out of as they please).* Once a month I would be happy to take a couple of hours off to go in, but more than that just isn’t feasible.** Maybe next term I will have different working arrangements that might work, and I think I will get DH to do the course next year so that then depending on work arrangements is easier.**

*

Sorry you are hating the thought of going back so early TT40 – I was lucky and didn’t have to go back for a year with either of mine, but I have a few close friends who have done it from 4-6 months and most have not found it as hard as they thought (although I don’t think any of them enjoyed the pumping), especially if grandparents have been looking after the little one.*

[Beautiful Disaster]

Oh WYSIWYG you aren't making me want to send my DS to school next year I'm already stressing and I've still got how many months to go.

He will be going to am and pm OSHC which is crap but I start at 8 and hubby starts at 6 (if he is even in the same state) and I finish at 5 with an hour drive

[wysiwyg]

Ah BD don't stress about the OHSC part - DD does 7:30 to 17:30 4 days a week when we both work and adores OHSC - she asks to go all the time. The people there are really caring and she mixes with kids of different ages - has more space and outdoor play and does far more craft and fun stuff than she would if was at home after school. Just like I did with childcare I find my views on it changing as has become a reality. Most parents who use it say the same their kids love it. Your school may be much better at handling the whole working parents thing, I suspect the demographic of the area impacts on how accomodating a school is - on FB when I moaned about the morning tea plenty of friends had breakfasts happening as early as 7:15.