All I could do is encourage you to give up work. Where else would you rather be (awake) but to be giving everything you had (not what is left over) to your precious children. While the work can be monotonous at times, I have found it to be much more rewarding than work (nursing). I miss being at work still but would not go back until my kids are ready (during school hours).

I went through a whole "identity crisis" thing but have found that I am a mother first and most importantly. They are worth all of my care. My career can now wait.

All the best with your decision,
I have to agree but also second your idea of casual work ... I know you are a wonderful midwife but Ivy and Noah are growing up so fast and are so cute - how can you bear to be away from them. Plus the big kids are so busy I am ina we of how you manage to do it so well.

Beccas - train analogy is good too but I know midwifery is a little different -especially with management (NUM's & supervisors) -things do change and it can be scary returning after a long absence.

I wish you well my friend and knwo that whatever decision you make it will be the right one for you all at this time.

Life is too short as it is and these are maybe your last babies.