I am very sad to hear about the death of your son Hamish - big cuddles my love.
I had 4 normal and healthy pregnancies and full term births until I began to lose my babies. I had 3 second trimester losses & all testing seemed "apparently" normal - though some tests were borderline.
After losing my third daughter the reason for losing my babies became my life work. I researched, bought papers, spoke to professionals and sought out help. Through my research I began to know that losses like yours and mine are sadly not uncommon. What is common is that there is no cause found. It is "one of those things'. "just unlucky".
I felt it was autoimmune and I felt that I needed to suppress my system. I studied the work of Dr Gavin Sacks and his research into NK cells. I read an article by a woman who had 19 losses & was treated by Dr Sacks and had a full term baby.
I consulted him, I interviewed doctors and left many a room confounded by the lack of insight into late loss and how it is brushed off as "bad luck".
Finally I found 2 doctors who listened to me. Who would agree to treat me prior to conception with prednisone (a steroid), LWMH (fragmin is one) and asprin. I was on all of this prior to conception as my research pointed to this being the best bet.
When I finally became pregnant it was the most stressful time of my life. I injected daily, prayed every minute... When I reached 20 weeks it seemed that a part of me believed that this baby girl would make it. But I only let myself believe that fleetingly.
I had a massive autoimmune response at 26 weeks. My liver bled (bleeding disorders can cause clotting or conversely bleeding) & I was in ICU. Imogen was delivered by ECS at 27+5 weeks weighing 815grams. You will know from your boy's weight that that too is tiny for that gestation.
She is alive, healthy and happy today (she has a chromosomal abnormality unrelated to her birth).
My advice to you is to remember you are a consumer of the health system. You own your body. You need to learn as much as you can about autoimmune disorders. This is your responsibility. You need to become an expert. You need to engage a doctor who listens with her/his heart and ears. Until you find one keep looking.
Contact Dr Sacks (he is in Sydney) have a consult. Sit down and write out a comprehensive medical history. Of special note is any type of autoimmune issue. Aching joints, arthritis, asthma, skin conditions etc etc.
I will link you to some articles I have written.
Believe in your heart you will hold your Earth baby. You will if you believe. But there is an old Arabic saying: "Trust in Allah but first tether your horse"... Meaning it's great to have faith but you also have to do the practical stuff.
If you need any helop I am very happy to help you.
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