I have to make a choice...

[Zee]

A little back track... I have depression, have had it since I was at school. I have been medicated on & off (taking myself off).

With DD I didnt take my meds while PG and I was a nightmare to be around but soon after her birth I went back on them and when I felt fine I took myself off them which started a cycle of me going back on them, taking myself off etc...

This time we have decided for me to stay on them while PG (I want to stay on them and not go off them cause I need to be on them), it was a hard decision but with many talks with my GP, Hospital Dr, midwives & other health professionals etc we made our decision knowing there are some risks etc but the benifit of me being on the meds outway the risks...

I was told it was best I stayed on a low dosage so thats what I have been on but over the last 2 weeks have felt they havnt done anything and the last few days I have been a nightmare to be around again.

After going to a number of appoinments today(GP, Hospital Dr, midwives & other health professionals) I have been left with 2 choices..

1) Stay on the low dosage im on, feel its doing nothing, put stress on the baby, myself, my DH & DD for the nest 15ish weeks, have high blood pressure, have the chance I will have to have him early etc

or

2) Go on a much higher dosage & have bubs in special care for the 1st 3ish days after being born because of the withdrawls he will be having (this is what I have been told today)

DH & I have no idea what to do.. cause either way its bad. I cant put him under stress for the next 15 weeks but I dont want him to have withdrawls for a few days once he is born.