I'm sorry you're having such a tough time with it, Sarah!! I am very pleased to report that post-baby, I can eat all the dairy I like and haven't had a single symptom since! It's very strange :/ That being said though, a friend mentioned to me recently that my DD2 might be lactose intolerant as she's been very congested (coughs and lots of phlegm) pretty much since birth, it never seems to go away, and she's never had any attacks that may indicate another illness like asthma... but she was tested for cystic fibrosis not long after she was born so I am considering taking her back for another test just to make sure they didn't miss something that needs attention.
She eats lots of dairy and loves it, it doesn't appear to make her ill or upset her, just that she's got a lot of congestion on her chest and I'm told (although I always thought it was an old wives' tale) that dairy may be the cause?

Here's hoping that in your case, it's just another yucky early pregnancy symptom and that it will settle down, it was so hard for me to give up all my favourite things for the rest of my pregnancy! Congratulations on the growing bub, and welcome to BB Best of luck, keep us posted on how you go with the dairy stuff!