Thanks Didispunk. I am still a bit twingy occasionally but considering I was flitting between crutches and a wheelchair I am pretty happy with how much I can move now. I know that at my worst my husband was worried I would be disabled for life but it is amazing how quickly SPD often recovers.
so there's the practical mechanics... how to get around, how to manage... and I'm wondering about some of that. For e.g. while my mum is staying, she's bathing DS. My DH doesn't have a good back either (he couldn't lift DS at all for significant periods of time last year)... and honestly I'm wondering how we bath DS once she's gone??? What do we do if we're both bad at the same time? I don't think you can leave a toddler unbathed for 2-3 months last time I checked, and I am seriously worried that neither of us is going to be able to do it! I got down to pull the plug out of the bath and thought I wasn't going to be able to get back up again.
Secondly, the emotional side. How do you cope emotionally? I'm much improved and incredibly lucky to have my mum here but she has to go soon. So i'm starting to try pick up what i have to, and it's not going great. I can see that I have to do the bare essentials and really focus on that only. But I miss going for walks, I miss being able to go shopping, I miss getting out. I managed 10 mins in Kmart the other day and that was it. We're so lucky to have online shopping, but honestly some things are better done in the flesh! How did you all manage without going crazy!?!?!? And I'm not even on crutches or in a wheelchair, PLUS i have help. Am I just a big wuss? Or were you all crying into your pillows?
It is hard to miss out on everything. I used to get my OH to bathe the kids when he was in the bath anyway, but if not a shower with your child is a good idea, as Didispunk says. There isn't a whole lot to be done about all the usual activities, except to try and find things that you can do together and focus on those so you still have fun, even if you can't go out for a walk.
Belfie - I'm not going to lie to you, the emotional side is hard. I've been housebound since Week 16. From then I could literally walk 50 metres to the end of my street where I could sit and have a coffee then back to my house. I didn't drive either though that has changed now we have moved to the country (which is one of the primary reasons why we moved). So I could either go to the end of my street OR catch a tram from the end of my street and go to a shop that was within 50 metres of the stop at the other end. Whoopy flaming do as you can imagine
If DP was home to drive me I could only walk 50 metres from the car. DP is also a shiftworker and often works 9 days straight.
My oldest friends have been crap and have treated me like a whinger if I mention "housebound" or "pelvis".
So, to coping. Firstly, I decided not to be a martyr and to put DD into childcare two days a week. Because she was housebound too and it wasn't fair on her. Without that, I would have gone completely insane.
Luckily or unluckily, depending on which way you look at it, I was really busy. We were buying/selling/renovating/moving all during this time, dealing with legal issues and trying to cope with DSD who had gone off the rails. So although I couldn't get OUT of the house, my mind was busy.
If you drive, I'd suggest the following. Get out of your home environment as much as possible. Visit friends' houses, playgrounds, parks etc. etc. Keep the walking to an absolute minimum but get out of the house. Think of a project - decorating the nursery, writing letters for Amnesty International ... ANYTHING.
Also spend some time each day just thinking about your new baby. It really helped me to concentrate on being excited about new life rather than focusing on pain and coping. Last night for example, I couldn't get to sleep until past 2am because I am now BESIDE MYSELF with excitement that DD2 is nearly here.
Finally, keep posting especially with practical issues like bathing. Usually there's some solution - I agree, take a shower with him. Or put a chair next to the bath that he can climb on to and then you can hold his hand to get into the bath. Use the chair to swing your own legs in maybe to take the plug out or perhaps you could put some string on the plug so you can just yank it. Don't worry, DD very rarely baths and lately she hasn't been in the shower much either. As long as her bum is wiped and her girly bits are clean, I don't stress. If worst came to worst I'd wash her down with a warm cloth.
Fionas - Recieved the brace today! Thankyou so much!!
I wore it most of the morning, then took it off to go to town...should've left it on I think.
Anyway, will let you know how I go. Thanks a million
No worries Clover - only sorry it took me so long inbetween catastrophe after catastrophe here and not actually physically being able to get to Post Office. I can't tell you how proud I was to be able to get in my little car and drive to the Post Office now we've moved.
If you're taking it off because of daggy embarrassment factor - DON"T. Not worth it.
And remember, the belt will stop pain from starting but it won't stop pain once it has started. If you're in pain, ICE, ICE, ICE.
I am currently going to bed with an icepack between my legs and a hot wheat pack on my back. Took me a while to work out that my bad back was just a run-of-the-mill pregnancy bad back, not a pelvis-related bad back so best to use heat on it. Don't know if I'm Arthur or Martha I tells ya. And it's minus 4 degrees here so if anyone tells me that they can't ice because it's too cold, I will tell them they are a wuss
fionas - thank you for your post, I found it really helpful. I think you are amazing to have coped with being housebound for so long! And I also thoroughly agree with your whoopy flaming do on what you can manage, you are amazing to cope so well!!! I do drive, so as of next week, i'm going to make sure I've got something organised for non-daycare days. I've kept DS in FDC for 2 days a week as I do have bookkeeping to do for DH's business... plus I realised very quickly that I would need it anyway. I think I do worry about DS being housebound as well, and most of my friends with kids are all pregnant and their current children are smaller/lighter than mine - so I don't want a preggie friend to hurt herself trying to lift my boofer boy! But I'm definitely going to try line up as much as possible. Re your friends, I'm horrified that they're not supportive - I guess some folks just don't understand unless they've experienced something similar themselves.
Re projects, well I have tonnes I think... setting up nursery, bookkeeping, filing (ok that's not very exciting) but plenty to do. I realised reading your post that I hadn't been focussed on baby, so I've left some clothes out in view, bought some cot linen I wanted (and added her to my profile - BBG is Beautiful Baby Girl ) so that has helped.
My mum goes home on Monday. I've tried a bit more lifting in two "batches" over the last 2 weeks and definitely seen a flare-up. So we'll see how we go once she's gone. I'm gonna make the most of "easy street" till she goes. Then I think I'll just have to really focus on bare essentials, doing the daytime and getting DH's help in morning/evening/overnight. We think we've worked out how to bath him with DH doing the "lifts" and I found a good position on my knees that wasn't too bad... just gotta get up very carefully. And if DH ain't here, no bath - that's for sure!
Didi - how are you going? is your mum there now?
Traveller - i agree, truly how you've managed it absolutely amazing.
Pinkukele - how are you going? I hope the chest infection is better.
Does anyone else get cramping at the front? (i.e. lower sides of your belly). I'm finding when I wear the support belt I get more cramping. I can't cycle with the belt on as I cramp, but even without it I can sometimes only manage 7-8 mins before I cramp. My last swim I had to stop 4-5 times in 30 mins to try and ease it. I had thought it was round ligament pain but my physio now thinks its my psoas muscle causing trouble/overworking. I guess it makes sense that when the pelvis is unstable all sorts of other muscles start to get recruited in and potentially overworked. I'm just keen to try do some kind of exercises as a) it stops me going insane(r) and b) I'm GD now and trying to keep BSL's down. Has anyone else found any other sort of exercise they could do?
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) so that has helped.
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