Hun, you know i've had issues with my wrist forever - apart from the first few days to a week post op, you'll probably be pretty well fine to cope (i was living solo when i had my second wrist op and only had help for one night and had a cast for 4 weeks). yes, you can't put the girls in and out of the bath, but i'm assuming you'll be public wait listed again, so they will be (at least) another year older and able to help more

you'll be able to do a lot of stuff with one hand and with the girls help. i was without my left arm for almost 8 months before the surgery too - you can definitely get a hell of a lot done, you just have to be a bit more creative.

prepare food before you go in for your surgery and put it in the freezer. give DP no choice but to help. relent on the fresh food thing and accept that, for convenience, you may need to use jars of stuff for a while kwim?

FWIW - i am facing the same thing soon - i've been talking to my GP about referral for investigation again as my wrist is getting progressively worse again! it's doing my head in - stupid little things like DD flinging herself in my arm, and the joint lets go and it dislocates itself. it's just crummy so i totally sympathise with you! don't rush surgery though - if you can, try and see a hand/wrist specialist rather than an orthopaedic surgeon to see if there is anything that can be done to avoid the re-break/setting. ortho surgeon down here went in and did things to my wrist that the hand/wrist specialist said were probably unnecessary and without what he'd done, i may not have the problems i have now (or at least not to the same degree).