The things that stand out to me about your dream Ree Ree are these:

1. you had travelled a long way to visit this friend. A lot of effort and time had been expended by you.

2. the visit was coming to the end, and she was driving you somewhere to enable you to take the long journey back. they were putting in some effort, but a small amount comparativley speaking.

3. you realised she was going the wrong way, and you said so.

4. your friend (with unknown intentions to you) unilaterally puts you in a situation of no control, and complete reliance with an expectation that you will trust her completely.

5. your friend is in her home area, and the only way she knows how to get to the station is (as far as you're concerned) not the normal way, and is as far as you're concerned actually completely opposite to the correct way. notwithstanding that, she says it's a short cut.

6. just ponder these four points for a minute: (i) she is driving (ii) you think it's completely the wrong way (iii) she says it's a short cut (iv) she says she knows no other way.

7. you weren't satisfied, you couldn't relax, something felt wrong, but you accepted what she said. Which in your words, you found to be an "excuse". Why "this excuse" rather than "this answer" or "this explanation"? Maybe ponder that for a bit too.

8. the crash - you aren't sure how the situation came about, there just suddenly was chaos, she lost control, and you crashed into something which (i) must have been clearly visible (ii) she would have known it was there given this was her town and her preferred route to get to the station and (iii) is something very solid and final - you can't drive into one of those at 100kph and expect to be fine.

9. she was driving, she lost control, and only she was harmed. I'd ponder that too, regarding fault and blame.

10. she died and you were fine.

11. you left, "with maybe the tiniest feel of sadness, but mostly uncaring. I think I felt a weight had lifted."


This makes me wonder several things, including:-

(a) do you feel that you are always the one making the effort in the relationship?
(b) do you feel that she tries to control or manipulate?
(c) do you feel that there's some sort of crash, disaster, confrontation coming up, that she will be to blame for?
(d) if the relationship ended, how would you feel? relieved?
(e) if you ended the relationship, would you be concerned about the fallout for her? or would your possible relief outweigh that, causing you to not particularly care?


I ask these things because sometimes my dreams are absolutely my thoughts all coming together, and God and/or my subconscious showing me what I really need to hear...

But sometimes it's rubbish, and I wake up feeling guilty and unhappy because it's not what I actually feel, and I don't like it that my dreams have come out that way, IYKWIM.

But if it's resonating with you, I really would break it down, think, pray, meditate, even journal about it, and then decide if you need to take action.

I don't propose to tell you what to do! But you are very welcome to my thoughts and notes, based on what you originally posted, if it's of any assistance to you working it through