When I was suffering from depression I felt guilty when I started feeling better because I didn't actually believe I was worthy of feeling good. What helped me was not going to a psychologist for depression (I tried a few but they never helped) but going to a counsellor who specialised in self-esteem. It really made me see clearly how I treat myself and why I deserve better, and why it was ok to be me. I don't know if that is similar to how you are feeling or not but you do deserve to enjoy life and be happy.