To ask the universe for something that might not be for somebody elses best and highest good?
My boyfriend (very early, only 6 weeks in) might be moving to China to work. It's a great opportunity for him. He'll be earning heaps and can keep studying. He'll be gone for at least a year I think.
I want to ask the universe and put it out there for him to stay, for it to fall through, I don't want this to end before it's really had it's chance.
I know what you're thinking - i'm a terrible person and I can't believe how selfish i'm being. I'm trying to find it in myself to tell him I think it's a great idea but I just can't, if i'm completely honest with myslef then I want him to stay and I can't fool myself into thinking anything else.
I know it's early days but I can feel it and so can he.
Should I be trying harder to be a better person about this?
I dont think its unfair for you to want him to stay and to wish for it, but if you feel guilt while you wish for it- then when it happens, you are going to feel bad and its going to taint things anyway.
Maybe you can ask for something bigger and better to happen for him to stay here... like instead of focussing on the China thing being a failure... focus on asking the universe to give him something even bigger to come along that will bring him success - AND keep him here!!
So i would say its ok to want it, but want it in a way that makes you feel like you are hoping for something really good to keep him here.. (other than him wanting to stay for you of course, although that would be a good enough reason too )
Aaaah that question always sparks my interest. The fact that you'e asking probably tells you!
Everyone sees this differently - I hope it's okay to tell you how I see it?
I think it's great to visualise you are together & happy & content. How that happens you need to let go of the need to control...
There are a million scenarios:
* He could turn out to be Mr Dysfunctionals brother and it was a lucky break that he went to China...
* He could be the "one" sent to you to show you that functional emotionally mature men actually exist (would take some convincing for me! )
* He could be the "one" & your relationship grows and grows & blooms beautiful roses... He goes overseas & can afford to fly you over to Old Peking for regular honeymoon trips where you climb the great wall, eat snakes and buy silk!
* He could be the one and the whole job falls through...
When we think we can control the outcome (& I believe we can - I know I certainly have) we don't always get what we want in the end.
When you have the faith to hope & add this will come to me if it is in the best interests of all concerned...
Wish for it, let it go & if it is meant for you it will come. Trust that. Just jump off that precipice (figuritively only) & trust that you will be held... You will be.
If you try and control you will sometimes get what it is you set out for - but that may not be in your highest good. That's important. For this life is to learn lessons & grow. Trust you will be given just what you need to propel your Spirit where it needs to go...
Starbright you are so right about the guilt if he does stay - esp if he's miserable. But then I don't think for a minute he would stay because of me, it would be because it fell through or something. But then yep, I couldn't help but feel it might be because I wished it...When i've been asking for it to happen I have been saying "as long as it's in both our best and highest goods" I like the idea of something better being here, and I think there is...not financially I don't think but thats not the be all and end all. But he is very money-orientated...not "things" but very sensible when it comes to saving and wants to build up a big portfolio and this would really help him.
Inanna - thank you hun, you are so wise...well, you both are and that;s what I was hoping for! You are right, I need to try and let go of the control that I don't really have anyway! Yesterday I just through my arms up ad told the universe that I trust it and said thank you for whatever happens (but couldn't help but add again what it was I want to happen ) because I know its for the best whatever the outcome.
I guess i'm just frustrated that I can't control any of this...it's his decision and I hate not having a choice about my future, and this is why I was so hesitant to get involved in the first place...I know I can't control what happens but I can control how I react to it, it would just be so disappointing if he did go
Thanks again lovely ladies for your kind, wise words xxx
Is it wrong...
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