Ladies - thank you for your responses. It helps to know I'm not alone with this. I had counselling Friday arvo - it helped to get it all out and I will continue with it. I'd prefer someone a little less warm & fuzzy, as I respond well to practical steps to deal with things, but I'm trying to accept having a safe place to let it all out, rather than quickly moving forward to "how to I fix this" mode. The weekend was good - I'm measuring accomplishments like cooking a casserole or doing the ironing as great things atm. Still ended up teary, but I'm trying not to judge myself for it. I didn't want to be alone though, so when DH wasn't around, I hung out with my Mum. Hopefully, that will start to get better.

I've also worked out I need to make an effort to try positive thoughts. Everything is negative at the moment and I'm getting really pessimistic. I'm trying to focus on the positive side of things. But the negative self-talk seems really insidious, like getting scared DH will leave me if I stay sad (he's assured me he loves me no matter what). I've noticed it gets worse when I'm tired, so trying for early nights.

Human bean - the walking is a good idea. I did go training on Saturday - it was a street run. When the baby thoughts started, I just let them slide by. I said to myself, this isn't a rejection of the lost baby and it's not for any future babies, I'm doing this for me. That helped me finish. I'm thinking I should start aiming for a 10km run in the next couple of months as a goal to work towards.

bookworm - I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you were OK at church and you're starting to feel better. I found I'd have a week I'd be OK, followed by a week of deep sadness. Wishing you healing from your pain.