I am very glad that you are finding some solace at this website, and have been able to talk about your experience with us. I have been reading your discussions with Tootie and the others, but not always posting because having not been through the experience of miscarriage let alone one so late in the course, it is difficult to offer you much more than a kind word.
I am very glad that you have some answers from your doctors, even though they aren't the definitive answers you seek. I agress with Tootie that seeing a specialist will be the best way forwards. As I said to you in my earlier post seeing a haematologist (for the FV Leiden deficiency) and an obstetrician (to help you plan your pregnancy) is a very good idea. You will get to hear the opinion of both and hopefully this will help you decide which road to take.
On behalf of my profession, I am really sorry that you aren't getting a straight answer about which treatment to take. As per my earlier post, because the increase in risk of miscarriage is 'only' (and I am sorry to use this word) 2 - 3% if you are a FV Leiden carrier, it is generally not 'pushed' onto women to have heparin, because there is no guarantee that you will suffer another miscarriage. You may have a completely normal next pregnancy, and aspirin alone may suffice. The role of heparin in pregnancy is not fully 'researched', that it the evidence is not out there that says every woman who has had a miscarriage and has FVL should have heparin and thus we don't recommend it straight away. If however, a woman has repeated miscarriages and particularly if she has tried aspirin, then heparin is the next, stronger option.
Having heparin is not without risks, particularly in the form of bleeding and also the development of allergy which destroys your platelets. The main issue of course is during the birth as it does increase risk of peripartum or postpartum bleed which may require transfusion.
I guess in todays litigatious society we are taught from med school that we cannot force our opinions onto patients, we can recommend what the options are and the risks/benefits of each, however the final choice is up to the patient.
I know the above may not help you in making your decision, and I too would find that the 2-3% increase in risk unacceptable (I finally understand all this now that I am trying to conceive my own child) and so if I were your doctor I would not disway you from having heparin.
Administration is not very difficult - it is given via a very fine needle under the skin of your tummy, like a diabetic would take their insulin and can be done once or twice per day.
I am happy to help in whatever way I can.
To change topics, I love the beatiful ways you have rememberd your daughter, it was very touching to read.
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