LadyRose, I've just read your thread, and I am so sorry for your loss. It's good to hear that you are in a better place right now that you were a few weeks ago.
I struggled with grief and anger at the start of this pregnancy, when we lost this baby's twin at 9 weeks. It took me months to get over the worst of it, and to be able to start feeling any joy at the fact that I still carried the surviving twin, prior to that any vestige of joy was totally overshadowed by grief. I'm now 40+2, and although the sadness remains when I think about it, 99% of the time now, I am overwhelmed with happiness and excitement and anticipation at the thought of meeting our precious little baby sometime really soon.
Grieving really is a process, but I think it is only in looking backwards that we can recognise it in ourselves. When we are in the midst of it, we simply can not see beyond the despair that surrounds us at that moment. Be prepared to go forwards and backwards in your process, and that as you move forward with the ttc journey, you will have moments, or days, or weeks, where it all comes back as painfully as it was when the grief was fresh. Be kind to yourself at these moments, and talk to your DH, especially, about how you are feeling. Many men don't have the same emotional connection to a pregnancy when it is very early, and while my DP admitted that within a few weeks, he was pretty much over our loss, it was really important for 'us' as a couple, that he understood that I continued to be deeply affected by it.
I'm glad that you found support from the lovely ladies here on BB, and that you'd like to acknowledge them in PMs, but I believe you need to have a post count of 50 to be allowed to use the PM function. You might benefit from joining one of the ttc threads, perhaps the ttc after miscarriage or loss, or the ttc 0-6 months, or 6-12 months, or 12 months plus, wherever you fit in the overall scheme of ttc. You'll find understand and support, and if you contribute regularly, your post count will go up quickly, and you'll be able to pm the people you want to.
Hello ladyrose, I'm so glad to hear you are feeling more at peace! I think I am too, when you start to have more good days then bad then I think it's a turning point. I'm so glad that you are able to consider TTC again, we are doing the same also. It feels nice to have my body feeling 'normal' again after what happened. I wish your TTC journey to be mercifully short & sweet xx
LadyRose - thanks for the update on how you are going... My surgeon said to me to wait as well but the lovely nurse said if you are emotionally ready then go for it!! We waited a cycle and then went for it!!!! It is hard and like the other posters said you will go through some ups and downs and we are here for you xoxo GL TTC hope to read your announcement soon xoxo
You were RAK'ed in 2015
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