Hey ladies..
I'm still here. Just kind of been avoiding this whole thing. Wishing it was a bad dream I guess.
Tomorrow is my D&C day. I'm still so undecided. I just can not stop hoping that they were wrong..
I don't think I"m going to do it..

I've begun very light bleeding. Nothing really unusual for me (I've bled with all of my pregnancies, including the healthy ones). But when I do a wee, I look in the bowl and there are a few floaties. Kind of like bits of tissue or something.. strange really (not clots or discharge). Last night I was washing up and I felt blood, so raced to the toilet, thinking it was about to begin. A kind of squirt of blood came out. Then completely stopped, and then nothing for the rest of the night (and half of today). I just don't understand why its not getting heavy. Its been super light now for days. I mean.. super light.

Its suppose to be 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Why are my odds 1 in 2. This is so effed.

Then a friend of mine who is pregnant, due a couple of days after my EDD, started talking pregnancy today. I felt so bad... I just had no happiness for her. I feel like a ****ty friend. I don't want to feel uncomfortable or awkward.. I dont want her to NOT share her journey with me. I'm angry at myself.

Vent over. Thank you for listening. x