I've had a horrible afternoon. Went out to my parents/sister's house so the kids could play and we could eat tea there as DH was going to be late at work. The kids have been feral - DS is just constantly whinging and has started biting. DD would be mostly good but then do something awful like bite her cousin or push her or hit her.
My mum told me I should look into putting the kids into occasional care so I can have some time out - I think she could see I was struggling. I was agreeing with her and then I started feeling angry - she is retired, dad is semi-retired, why can't they take them for me for a day???
DS went off the rails then and I almost lost it... Almost in tears trying to get his night nappy on... It feels like the pair of them are misbehaving on purpose because they know I am highly strung at the moment.
I drove home holding it together and then it all went pear shaped again. DS screamed for almost 40 minutes, DD wouldn't go to sleep... And I got a lovely message from someone who said that I don't have to be strong, it's ok to fall apart...
And all of a sudden I was sobbing.
And I'm all alone.
I called DH and blubbed into the phone so he's packing up and coming home... But I'm still alone. None of my friends that I ring and chat to have been through this. No one would quite get it.
The pain is just there. The questions. The emptiness.
hun, there are plenty of us here that know the feeling unfortunately
we were in the same belly buddies group when you had your little man and i had a miscarriage and of course had to leave the thread and you were so lovely to me then. feel free to send me a PM if you want to chat or talk on here all you need to
The feeling of having nobody understand what you're going through is difficult, to say the least. The feeling that you're okay, and then having it all creep up suddenly again, the raw emotion of it all is hard. But know we are all here with you and for you. In person or online. It's horrible feeling lonely, especially when you're going through something so difficult. xxoo
Oh OP *massive hugs*. i wish i was closer id come over in a heartbeat and help you out however you need it. how far away is your dh? Wish there was something i can do. i am on night shift so will be up all night if you want to call or msg. Ill pm you my number. Xoxo
Oh babe while I don't really get it from personal experience i am here, your welcome to bring the kids here for a day, to run free and be as feral as they like (in a nice way), we don't gave neighbors and the trees don't judge. Hell you can stand in the paddock and scream if you want!
Just know I am here, if you need me, if not that's fine too... Choc picnic soon though yeah?
Sent from my iPhone, more than likely while I should be doing something else!
OP. I too wish I could physically be there for you. It is one of the toughest roads to travel.
One of the things I found hardest was thinking that I had to be strong. That I should be able to hold it together. That I should be moving on. But the fact is, you don't have to be any of these things.
Having a miscarriage is one of the awfulest carpiest experiences and u don't have to be strong or move on from it just yet.
Oh luv, I really hope your DH gets home soon and comforts you. Meanwhile, we are all here to give you all the support we can muster.
I know it's different the support from here but we are all here for you hun.
I know it doesn't make it any easier but it is exactly the same as here with my two kids too. Hope the kiddies are asleep and you have some time to yourself.
I'm so sorry OP. This is just such a crap situation. I wish I was close enough to give you some real support, but all I can do is send you and promise you that it does get better. Always happy to lend an ear or a cyber shoulder to lean on.
oh girlfriend ... please let me know if there's anything I can do, or if you want to catch up for breakfast or lunch or coffee after work one day ...
or to take the kidlets to the park - I can send DH to chase after them for an hour or so, and get them severely worn out, and we can have a natter, or a cry, or a vent, or whatever you need.
you have been there when I've just needed someone to be there, and I would love to be there for you, if it would be of any assistance.
I hope your DH is home, and that he's bundled you into bed and is giving you some seriously comforting snuggles, and just holding you or crying with you or praying with you - because we can't always hold ourselves together alone ... and it's ok to fall apart, and have someone take care of us every now and then.
We're praying for you, and thinking of you, and loving you so much.
You aren't alone.
And while none of us can know exactly what you're going through, so many of us can certainly relate to that emptiness, that helplessness, that isolation, those questions, and those bleak tearfilled 2am heartaches...
You're not alone.
Just let me know if there's anything I can do to help.
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Not ok.
hun, there are plenty of us here that know the feeling unfortunately
hun xx
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