How do you describe what it feels like?

[Kirley64]

Thanks everyone for your replies.
So here is what i ended up coming up with to explain it to him, since we just ended up arguing everytime I tried explaining what i needed from him and why:

To my Husband:

Mummy-to-be

The words, they seem to escape me,
No matter how much I try.
I don't know how to make you see
The reason for why I cry.

The joy of two pink lines I see,
The anticipation and dread they bring.
The awe, excitement and expectation.
Before you even know a thing.

We made a little person!
I wondered if we ever could.
God has chosen to bless us,
As the bible says, Bless us he would.

What would this precious baby be like?
Will it be more like you or me?
What do I hope and dream for his future?
Who do I think he will be?

Maybe it's a little girl!
We made a beautiful daughter.
She will fill the rooms of our home,
With giggling, dancing and laughter.

Maybe it's a handsome son!
More trucks, dirt and noise.
Oh how the Lord will need to help me
To be a mother of little boys.

What do I need to do,
To keep healthy and strong?
To eat right, take vitamins and not be exhausted
As this pregnancy goes along.

I'll do everything in my power
To give our baby the best start.
I just can't think about labour yet,
Oh dear the pain! Nope. I'm sure I can't.

Now I must think about sharing with you
The news of this little one.
Will you be excited, anxious or surprised?
either way, a Daddy you've become!

Thank you Lord for this little babe,
This special gift you've given to us.
Thank you Lord for this little life,
who into our care you entrust.

I woke up early this morning,
to the realisation that he was gone.
My heart is totally in pieces.
Why has this gone wrong?

Why am I not good enough
To carry him all the way?
to see his squishy little face;
To meet him, now I'll never have that day.

To have those treasured moments
Of him snuggled in my arms.
It's my job to protect him,
To keep him safe from harm.

I'm sorry that I failed at that.
I thought I did everything right.
I want to turn back time and fix it.
So he will never be out of my sight.

Lord I thought you were blessing us?
By making us parents to be.
But now I feel you've turned your back
And taken a part of me.

I loved this little person.
I dreamed about who they were.
Now I'll never say, "I'm your mummy".
I can never care for him or her.

Oh Lord, why did we even get pregnant,
If my baby you were just going to take?
Why would you make me fall in love,
Only for my heart to break?

I just don't understand why,
You've changed your mind about me.
Why I'm no longer special enough
for the job of 'Mummy-to-be'.