How do you just keep going?

[*LittleMissSummer*]

I am finding it so hard to just go on with my life. Most days i am ok, i get things done and do what i have to. But so many things are a reminder. I have just put DD to sleep so i can have a big cry. I am hurting so much i dont understand why my baby had to go.

[Razzberry]

I wish I had some answers to make you feel better. For me, I was desperate to be pregnant again, so I tried to focus on that but wasn't easy as I have fertility issues. I cried most days for probably about 3 months and slowly the crying became less frequent.
Reminders are hard and hurt a lot. Sending you a hug xxx

[TeniBear]

It's not much of an answer, but I just DID. It wasn't so much of a "right, this is what I'm going to do" - I just did what felt right. I tackled my grief head-on, and didn't let anything or anyone get in the way of that. If I needed a cry, I had a cry. If I needed to scream and hit things, I abused my pillows and stuffed toys.


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- Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks

[Yas]

You just do what you have to do. I also had a child to look after so i tried to concerntrate on that. It's so hard I was a mess for months, and completely lost it for the first 2. My poor DS knew what was going on.
I was in agony the morning of my D&C because the hospital had given me a drug called mitaprostol to ripen my cervix. I started bleeding so much blood and it was so painful. It ended up being too early to take my son to daycare so he had to come with us to the hospital Later when my mum met us at the hospital my DS told her that mummy had a sore bottom. He deducted this at the age of 2 and a half.
He still remembers that, and the months afterwards that i fell apart. He comforts me now all the time, telling me my babys ok.

So basically, all of that was to tell you i know exactly how you feel, and to some degree your daughter may understand that your hurting and sad. But it won't be raw forever, although it does hurt. Remember your loss is so very recent, mine was a year ago and i still cry.
and comforting vibes your way xxxxx

[LionsandBears]

One day at a time. The sun still rises, the Earth still turns. I let grief come and go and try to focus on the good things in life.

You can't rush it but you also have to find the balance so life doesnt slip by. Eat well, exercise, cry, journal. These all help.

[RhiChiChi]

TBH I don't know. It has taken me months & each time I had another m/c, I felt I was right back at the start. I still had to keep going to work, tending to my DD etc...- I couldn't put these things on hold but that didn't mean that I wasn't sad, upset etc.... I just kept it suppressed until I was in an appropriate environment (ie: not work) where I could cry, trawl sites like BB for support, took baths, had a facial to make me feel better - whatever to make me feel better. I too focussed on trying to have another baby (particularly the first two m/c). Some days are better than others, but I think that is all just part of the grieving and moving through the emotions process.
Just keep crying, venting , talking about it & it will get better.

[chody47]

TBH the only way i got through it was to get pregnant again. Dont get me wrong, it didn't mean I stopped thinking about our little one (especially around the time it would have been due) but knowing I was growing that babies sibling did help me through. All the best. It's not an easy thing xxx

[[M]umma[M]ia]

[sahbear]

One day at a time. The sun still rises, the Earth still turns. I let grief come and go and try to focus on the good things in life.

You can't rush it but you also have to find the balance so life doesnt slip by. Eat well, exercise, cry, journal. These all help.

Absolutely perfectly said.

[JennaJayen]

what the others have said.

I just DO. It's probably just me, but somehow I've found it easier with each subsequent loss. I don't know why. My first 4 angels I sunk into depression and it took a long time to pull myself back up from it, and that was without treatment as I have a phobia of baring my soul/sharing my emotions thoughts and feelings in person to people I don't know.
After having my DS, it was easier to deal with though I always wondered what my angels would have looked like, if they would have looked like their baby brother etc.
Then when I lost the 2 while TTC DD I became a bit depressed again, started thinking of just giving up and accepting that I'd only have one baby.
And then we lost out little unplanned surprise in June and I felt guilty because I wasn't ready for another baby and DH doesn't want any more kids and doesn't want me to have to go through another loss, but I was back to "normal" in a few weeks, though I am desperate to have another baby or 2 now... it's brought home just how precious all my babies - angel and rainbow baby alike - are to me.

In the beginning I cry and cry and cry, and rage at the world and how unfair it is, I bury myself in my beading and the internet in a bid to try and forget for a while. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. It's different for everyone

[*LittleMissSummer*]

I have this anger inside of me, ive always had a temper but this is different. I have never suffered any form of loss, no family member or friend has ever passed away so the feeling of grief i have never experienced. I was absolutely hysterical when it first happened, i bawled my eyes out and howled. I have moments like that, i get so overwhelmed with feelings i just break down. But its this anger, i am so angry that this happened to my little baby. It wasn't planned, like our first it took only one go and we fell pregnant. I had mixed feelings, i got the flu not long after finding out i was pregnant and my whole body ached and it brought back labour and i just couldn't go through that again but each day i found myself talking to my little baby. Seeing it on the ultrasound was unbelieveable i forgot how much you can fall in love with just a blob on the screen. Seeing its little heart flickering i was in awe of my precious baby. I guess i became so attached, and being told i wouldn't miscarry just didn't prepare me for what happened.

I am getting better i think. Its been a couple of days since the last time i cried. DD has been my rock if she senses im upset she comes up and gives me a cuddle. I hope to never go through another loss.

JennaJayen, im sorry for each of your losses

[JennaJayen]

Thanks hun, I hope you never have to go through another loss, it's the sh**s. I have the 6yr EDD anniversary for my first angel coming up on September 5th... don't know how I'll go, but chances are I'll forget again just like I forgot the 6yr angelversary and the 5yr EDD anniversary... and the angelversaries of all the others. I make an effort no to find out the EDDs of each loss since that first one, it's too painful otherwhise

[Charlotte91]

Oh, LMS.

[NaeNae]

Its so hard hun.

How you you just keep going? I don't know for sure but somewhere deep inside there is a strength that you never knew you had before, and even on the worst days it will come to you and help you through.

You'll find on days like today there is nothing better than to allow yourself some down time and cry if you need to, but you will also find that these days will get fewer and further between.

Its hard, and it sucks and its incredibly unfair .... but you'll find the strength you need and you will learn you have your own way of getting through these horrid days.

Nae x

[Tegam]

it really all just sucks doesnt it! I was a total mess, maybe thats the only thing that helped was admitting to myself that i was a mess and that was ok! You do get thru it....but i have no idea how I am so sorry you have to go thru this!