I have this anger inside of me, ive always had a temper but this is different. I have never suffered any form of loss, no family member or friend has ever passed away so the feeling of grief i have never experienced. I was absolutely hysterical when it first happened, i bawled my eyes out and howled. I have moments like that, i get so overwhelmed with feelings i just break down. But its this anger, i am so angry that this happened to my little baby. It wasn't planned, like our first it took only one go and we fell pregnant. I had mixed feelings, i got the flu not long after finding out i was pregnant and my whole body ached and it brought back labour and i just couldn't go through that again but each day i found myself talking to my little baby. Seeing it on the ultrasound was unbelieveable i forgot how much you can fall in love with just a blob on the screen. Seeing its little heart flickering i was in awe of my precious baby. I guess i became so attached, and being told i wouldn't miscarry just didn't prepare me for what happened.

I am getting better i think. Its been a couple of days since the last time i cried. DD has been my rock if she senses im upset she comes up and gives me a cuddle. I hope to never go through another loss.

JennaJayen, im sorry for each of your losses