How long after a loss?

Yeah that's it L&B every thing is to do with baby updates, she sent a pic of her 12w ultrasound and said all was ok with Ds risk. Then sent another text saying that she found a nice cot set and wanted me to come look at it with her? Then we went out to dinner and she was asking what wine she should have but then said oops no I can't.. I'm pregnant. My in laws are making my life a living hell! :-( I hated mothers day dinner with them last night without hubby there with me. He would have stood up for me. Where I just shut up and sat there! :-(

Pp they sound like insensitive so & so's! When I had my mm/c my best friend was a couple of weeks behind me with her 2nd pregnancy (our DD's were born a month apart) and it was hard but I had such a good relationship with her so we got through it. But when her DD2 was born a month after my ectopic was removed I struggled. I rang but couldn't visit towards the end of the pregnancy but would talk on the phone until one day she rang and asked if I could visit. She kept my DD & her DD1 occupied in another room while I held the baby & cried. It was hard but also healing because I was bound to be exposed to a baby at some point & it was done with respect.

Be kind to yourself xxx

PP there is nothing like family get togethers to rub salt into your wounds. I don't think some people will ever get it or have the sensitivity to respect your wishes without experiencing some kind of grief themselves. My SIL and MIL are the same. Im just dreading SIL DS Baptism in a fortnight. I hope they gain some sensitivity so visiting them becomes easier.

Oh PP, I'm truly sorry you are having such an awful time.

Family can be tough- esp when they are being so insensitive. You have every right to ask that they respect your space and feelings.

You are stronger than you think, you will come through this - it will just take time. Always here when you need to vent or just need to let it out. :hug:

And to answer my own original question.... My frers are fading... :-( it's 1 week and 4 days post op and they are nearly negative. You have to really squint to see a second line now... In fact the next one I do (might leave it until Thursday so that'll be 2 weeks post op...) May just be completely negative.

Thank you all for your hugs, love and your support. It means a lot.

I think that's it for me now. I think that I am going to hang my baby making TTC cape.. I think I'm done... Hubby is at peace with that decision too. One little bubba is good for us. Some people don't even get that... I am very blessed to have her and hubby in my life.

Oh thank goodness. The bleeding is slowing down now! :-) hopefully it stops soon! Or will it start and stop until all my uterine lining has shedded?

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Do you eat meat? I can highly recommend making yourself a nourishing bone broth. This is what my naturopath recommended after my PPH and i was so so flat but that broth was amazingly reinforcing.

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Oh Cassius2, i tried to pm but your inbox is full apparently... Yes I do eat meat.. Do you have a recipe I can follow to make? I'm not the best at cooking and feeling rather anaemic :-(

ah bloomin' heck...i always am full in the inbox hahaha. i really should just cull my messages lol...but i am too sentimental. will clear it now and send you a recipe :)

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ah bloomin' heck...i always am full in the inbox hahaha. i really should just cull my messages lol...but i am too sentimental. will clear it now and send you a recipe :)

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Haha thank you hun.

PP I'm so sorry to read the traumatic experience. I've been absent from here because of a MM/C so understand some of your pain x {{hugs}}

I did another clearblue digital test. It came up with "not pregnant" I was shattered to see those words.

Going to go hide away for a while I think.

PP I am so sorry. It sucks doesn't it? I'll come hide with you. I'll bring some pillows and we can pretend we are pregnant :)

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PP I am so sorry. It sucks doesn't it? I'll come hide with you. I'll bring some pillows and we can pretend we are pregnant :)

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Oh mildez I hope that you are ok. Will send you a pm.

Not doing the greatest today. I was sure once the bleeding stopped I would feel better. But I am not and this is the 2nd day I've had no bleeding... I feel terribly upset. I didn't think that this loss would affect me so bad... :-(

I'm lost for words PP. I don't know what to say that might help. I guess its one of those awful rollercoaster rides you have to take. I hope things improve for you soon xxx I know for me one of the biggest turning points in my recovery from my ectopic and tube removal in 2009 was having my DD in 2011. She really put everything into perspective for me and still does and that helped me get through the crap of loosing a part of you. Even now going through something similar I draw a lot of my strength from her. I don't know why because I have 2 older children as well. I think maybe its because she arrived after all that happened.

Let's go hide mildez... Better bring those pillows... :cry:

I have been cuddling my DD like crazy, but I am not allowed to pick her up by myself for another 2 weeks :-(

*hugs* give yourself time honey xx

PP Have you joined the ectopic trust forum? I found this really helpful years ago as everyone had been through something very similar.

No I haven't joined it. I might google it when I can see through my tears.

Today was a bad day :-(

Bad days are okay xoxo give yourself time to grieve and cry.

How many bad days do I have to endure before I have a good day? :-( :cry:

I've been following your story purple pixie... I'm really sorry your going through all this. It's so unfair. Please be kind and patient with yourself. It takes time. I have never had an eptopic but when I had my miscarriage it took me a very long time to feel like myself again. I only came out the blur when we started ivf again. Sending u a massive hug xxx

Sending you heaps of hugs pixie, hang in there :hug::hug::hug: xox

Hun, I am so sorry that you are feeling this way :( at some point you find tht it isn't so consuming anymore...I can't say when, but at some point there will be more good days again xo

Hugs to you hunny xoxoxo

Hugs pp, I hope today brings a better day for you xx

Hope some good days start happening for you soon xxx

I've decided to move back home after living with my Mum and dad for almost 2 weeks. I've been lifting my DD all day so far and doing practice lifting from a sitting position for a few days now too. I am going stir crazy being back with Mum and dad and I think it's not doing me any good in regards to my mental health and independence.

That sounds like a good plan pp - getting back iinto your 'usual' routine is important for mental health when you are grieving. Being around your own 'stuff' but knowing mum and dad are nearby to help is important xox

look after yourself x

I think I'm going to need to ask the gp to try get me into a psych faster. :-( might need to even try medication.

Every little thing reminds me that I should still be pregnant. And I am so jealous (I shouldn't be because she deserves a healthy and happy pregnancy) of my sister in laws pregnancy, bump etc. I've asked her yet again to consider my feelings after what my hubby and I have been through, but everything is about the baby.
I am clearing out my house of baby things too, I'm sick of seeing everything and crying.

Sweetie I really feel for you xox

Go to the GP today if you can - you should be able to get into someone this week

youre allowed to feel bad, you're allowed time to process. Would it help to write everything down. Whinge, complain and process it all.

Xox

I thought I was doing enough whinging here! I feel bad for it. So many people have and are going thru so much worse. :-(

PP I've been thinking of you a lot, even before my own recent experience. Nothing is insurmountable, just do-use anything you need to get through this bit by bit. X

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PP I've been thinking of you a lot, even before my own recent experience. Nothing is insurmountable, just do-use anything you need to get through this bit by bit. X

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Thank you LL. Sending hugs to u and hoping u r ok too.

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I thought I was doing enough whinging here! I feel bad for it. So many people have and are going thru so much worse. :-(

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Please do not feel bad or compare yourself to what others have gone through...What your going through is sad and heartbreaking take the time to realise that and ride the grief through xox

Everyone else going through their own crap doesn't make your crap okay. You're entitled to do whatever you need to do to get through. Looking after yourself is important.

I don't want the grief... I want my baby back :-( that pregnancy was probably my last one. It just hurts.

I can't get into my gp until next week :-( she's great but she's just soo busy and I don't want to see a stranger, iykwim?

I wish I was back to my normal self. I hate feeling like this. I have no control over these feelings atm.

:hug: makes sense you want to see the GP you know :hug:

grief is a horrible feeling, and it sounds like you are grieving for the loss of a potential future, not just the loss of what was, IYKWIM?? You have lost a part of you that was important and meaningful, and it makes sense that it hurts.

Unfortunaely I guess **** happens, and feelings come and go in waves, no one can make them go away, but, just like the ocean, the tide will go out for a while, eventually..... :comfort:

Sometimes the feelings are overwhelming, and it feels like you have no choice..... your choices come in what you do and what you think about those feelings.... I know its hard, but sometimes it helps to sit and think about what you can control instead... And what you DO, that's where the control comes in.

I found it helpful to say to myself.... Ill think about it later.... and i gave myself time at night to think - i used a journal, and BB... instead of thinking over and over about it, i would just DO those things I needed to do.. Had to do... - in my case it was work, but maybe a list of things that need to get done around the house or something would help too....

Is there anything you would find helpful from us in here??? Xox

I suppose I just need to vent and bb is the only place I can really do that.

keep venting as much as you need xoxox