hun, i dont think it starts unless its ready to start iykwim i hope u are ok even though ur probably a mess right now.. i have no words but those of sympathy for u i noticed how mnay losses you have and have to say u are such a strong woman to handle all these.. i hope u get that child u obviously are longing for and get through this ok too...
BIG HUGS hun n u r in my thoughts xoxox