Thank you everyone for your kind comments and for sharing your stories, and losses, here with me. The support you've given me has been so generous, I really appreciate it.

Well I'm glad I kept the appointment - the doctor was lovely and talked with me for over half an hour. She went through everything I had been feeling and reinforced what so many of you have said here - it's very normal and everyone is different. We talked about previous loss and about the episodes of depression I have had in the past and some of the warning signs. So far seems like it is a normal grief response but she wants to see me again in few weeks just to make sure I'm traveling OK. She also suggested maybe doing a little ceremony and I found the idea of that very comforting so I will think it through some more.

I'm so relieved to have a GP up here who at last has my full medical history and who has a specific focus on womens health. She wasn't at all judgmental about IVF which was one of my irrational fears, in fact she was very understanding and knowledgeable. So I'm feeling a lot better and more reassured that everything is OK. It was good to be reminded, strangely, that it won't pass quickly, that it will take time and feel very up and down, and some days will feel like I'm going backward, but it will eventually lessen.

Thanks again,
Alice x