Men and women are different in so many ways. Unfortunately we also grieve differently. It took a long time and a lot of counselling for me to understand that my DH does care and he is hurting just as much as me, he just grieves differently and in his own time and way. Perhaps try to talk to your DH explain to him how you are feeling and ask him how he is feeling. Communication is so important and speaking from experience it is wise to open up the communication lines early. Discuss your feelings, what this baby meant to you, the hopes, the dreams, the future you had for the baby and why the pain of losing her hurts so much. I know you said that you weren't going to tell your parents or IL but if you need support around you perhaps think about telling them. I'm sure they only smoothered you last time because they care so much. My thoughts are with you, be kind to yourself, luv & hugs