Excuse me if I am sounding full on but my heart breaks at the thought of you feeling how you do. I read your post and what hit me the most was about them taking your baby and your chances for another.
I know I dont know how you feel but I just wanted to say this.
Right now I know you feel resentful but as hard as it is losing our babies for stupid reasons it seems we have to accept what has been.
I guess im trying to say (and I dont know how) is as much as its hurts to know it was a complication and not the baby and that you as me were not given a choice but to say good bye we have to accept what is.
As im writing this im afraid ill be black balled or something for sounding callous but that is sooo the opposite of my intention.
I know there are only small positives in this devasting situation, such as a chance. But nothing replaces the angels we lose.
To know they would have been if only is a common thought among us all and to hate those who deliver us such news hurts. Ill never forget the look on that doctors face when he told me that within a few hrs I would lose him.
From one heart broken mummy to be to another dont bash your self up Baby had to leave as hard as that is they also saved you and as we sit here now sooo confused about what happens now in our own ways we have to be grateful for even that small cahnce things will be ok.
We keep our angels next to our heart and try to smile as they would want us to.
Sometimes life bestows us
Troubles we think we can not bare
Its hard to think about tomorrow
And know you wont be there
But in this sorrow I find honour
To think that you were mine
Even though you graced my presence
For much to short a time
I get to only imagine
The man you would have been
I can only feel the shadows
Of the sights you would have seen
My heart is filled with sadness
To never hear your voice
To never feel your laughter
And to not be given a choice
I love you my little son
You will always travel in my heart
And ill try to remember your always there
Though every moment we share is apart
I can not write this as goodbye
Those words will never come
For I know one day you’ll be smiling at me
And I will see again the face of you, my beautiful son.

I wrote that for my son.
I do hope I have not sounded rude, I just know it hurts like hell right now and true words sometimes help us through. xxxxxxxxxx :hugs: