I am feeling a bit more with it today and I think it will help me to get my head around everything by writing it down..

It's a bit long and might be a bit graphic for some.

My doctor sent me to the hospital straight away after the results of my blood test confirmed that I had had a missed miscarriage.

I was admitted straight away and some nurses and a midwife came in to check me over and take yet again some more blood. I had to wait a couple hours for the ob to come and see me as they were having a busy night delivering babies and she was doing a Caesarean.
So she eventually came to see me gave me the options and I chose D&C, as they were so busy I was told to come back at 7 the next morning. At this point I had no pain or bleeding so was pointless spending night in hospital, and I wanted to tuck DD into bed so they released me.

I hadn't eaten since lunch so had a quick sandwich and went to bed, by this time was about 9:30pm. DP and I were just talking in bed when I felt something come out and then felt all wet. So I got up and went and stood in the shower, a lot of blood was coming out. I just felt like I had my period at this point no cramps but blood was free flowing. So DP rang the hospital they said to come right in, I didn't want to wake up DD and see all this blood so we decided call an ambulance would be best and DP would come down in the morning after he had dropped DD at creche.
As DP is talking to the ambulance I can feel something solidish coming out. I started to freak out a little and decided to have a look and see what it was.
It was my baby half in and half out. I could see the sack and make out little legs. I am not sure how but I managed to keep it together and get dressed enough so that I would be a bit presentable when the ambulance arrived. I have to walk downstairs, by this time pad has already overflowed and blood is soaking into pants and everywhere.
Into the ambulance and off to hospital.
I am checked out straight away and they ask me if I would like a quick shower.
I then have to explain that I would but I have my baby stuck half in half out. The ob comes down pretty quickly and checks me out, she says yes it is and proceeds with tools and fingers to get it out.
The ob wants to do a d&c straight away but the anaesthetist wants to wait 6 hours as I ate when I went home, and there was a risk of vomiting into my lungs. I was happy to wait at this point I was feeling not too badly all things considered.
After that I go for a shower and come back and lie down for a bit. I start to get some cramping and my lower belly feels quite full, I am in quite a bit of pain at this point. The nurse come in and asks me how I am feeling, I tell her and she goes to get me some morphine. When she comes back I ask if I can go to the loo before she gives me that as morphine really puts me on a high.
Off to the loo I go, she leaves, tells me to buzz if I need anything, as soon as I lower my pants and the pad is removed a fountain of blood rushes out, I crapped myself, pressed the buzzer, nurse comes running in, uhoh I feel like I am gonna feint. Collapse onto the loo and end up passing out for a bit.
I wake up legs in the air and two male nurses/orderlies are lifting me up bottom half naked and covered in blood onto a bed.
Once I get with it a bit more I say "well isn't this a charming way to wake up" and had a bit of a giggle to myself, if I didn't see the light side I would have lost it. The nurses and everyone were really lovely and I think helped me to keep myself together.
I was pretty much sent straight up to theatre after that.
Woke up at about 3am and went into the maternity ward, stayed there til lunch time and was sent home.
Because I lost so much blood so quickly my haemoglobin levels where very low so I now have to take iron tablets twice a day for a while, and eat lots of meat.
My arms look like pin cushions, and are black and blue, I have 8 puncture wounds. All my muscles are sore, and I am just generally feeling sorry for myself, which is okay.
How I managed to keep myself calm and not cry at the hospital I don't know, I did fall to pieces when I got home had a shower and lay in bed.

Just taking things day by day and I know with time the pain won't be so deafening.

Thanks for reading and letting me get it all out.
...Laura