i know exactly how u feel, i have had 2 miscarriages in 6 months and was laying in bed this morning and realized that my first due date would have been next month and it almost killed me to think that i could be 8 months pregnant.

as for ur sil being pregnant the day i lost my latest baby the closet person to my at work rang me to tell me she was pregnant with her first after her 2nd month of trying, it broke my heart and i honestly cannot be happy for her right not coz even the thougth of her joy rips my heart to shreds.

you will get thru this we all do take ur time and dont hold ur feelings back, i have learnt that life is too short to let ill feelings rest.

take care and many for u