ZeeBee, welcome to BB. There are so many women here who have been through similar experiences and who are very loving and supportive - I hope you find some of what you are missing here.
I'm so sorry for your loss and for the grief you are feeling right now. I think about our DD often (it is more than half a year away and it is on my mind constantly) so reading your post really hit me how hard it is going to be. It must be doubly hard being near when your SIL is due - that is going to hurt, no doubt about it. Not having your own MC acknowledged is v. painful, especially as you don't have your mum with you to talk to.
I have had times before when it has been really hard to be happy for those close to me having babies. My brother split from my beautiful SIL five years ago and his new partner is not easy to get along with. She fell pregnant at 44 on IVF - first go. They told me the night before my 40th birthday and it totally gutted me. On the phone I was as happy as I could muster up and when I put it down, I howled for hours afterwards. You are right though - when you meet this little one, your heart will melt and it will be ALOT easier. I didn't see my new SIL at all while she was pregnant (helped they live in another state) - only after my niece was born. It is still hard at times, and especially recently, but having the baby around in person really helped me to focus it differently.
Have you planned something for your DD? Might be nice to do something for you to remember the day together and maybe to think about where you'd like to be, who you would like to have around you at that time, and what might be comforting. One of the ladies here told me about the different types of commemorative jewellery you can find online and I'm waiting now for something to arrive. It will be comforting to wear and a reminder that your loss is real and that your little one will always be missed. Something to think about anyway.
Take care
Alice x
[sorry remembered your DD was 26th of Jan but maybe you might still like to think of doing something as it is still this week?]
Last edited by Alice; February 2nd, 2010 at 09:48 PM.
Similarly my SIL has a due date of 3 weeks after when my baby would have been due. I'm not quite sure how to deal with it, it is terribly upsetting to think they will be having their 2nd child when mine is gone. So (sheepishly) I admit that I have had similar thoughts & feel horrible for thinking that way too.
But I won't beat myself up about it & you shouldn't either. Your grief is your own, so you do or feel whatever you need to to get through it & move forward when YOU feel ready. And remember that there are so many people in here that have experienced something similar & are willing to lend a sholdour or an ear (well actually I spose its our eyes that we lend?).
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